Cheating: The Poll to End All Polls (and some relationships).

[pharaoh]

Based on the thread* by @Rick_Johnson on cheating, I thought it would be interesting to conduct a poll based on some of the answers in the original thread, to get behind people's reasoning for cheating and how they have felt about it. I hope that people can vote anonymously and if not, could a mod please fix that?

Hopefully the possible answers are interesting and cover a lot of the ground that resulted from the thread. This is mainly aimed at people who have cheated but I will add three choices for those who have been cheated on that just came to mind. It is multiple choice as there are obviously multiple reasons as to why people do it. Feel free to explain if you are comfortable.

Have at it ye filthy scoundrels! Don't worry I will answer honestly myself as to not be a hypocrite.

*Link to the original thread: https://www.bluelight.org/community/threads/why-do-people-find-cheating-sex-hot.906061/

EDIT: added two more reasons.

 

[pharaoh]

Here are my answers:

I cheated because I was unfulfilled (sexually, emotionally etc.), did feel guilty. - Felt terrible about this, I did seek it out and it was a one night thing but my partner at the time found out and it really hurt her. I still feel shitty about it when thinking about it today.

I cheated because I have a sex addiction, did feel/have felt guilty. - I have bipolar disorder and although I mostly have mixed episodes (mania and depression), mania can tend to make me behave in ways that I wouldn't normally. I would go on benders, sometimes gamble which is completely out of character for me apart from the odd bet here and there for fun, would spend as if I was a millionaire and would also engage in promiscuous sex. Mania obviously gives the initial boost and then adding alcohol and other drugs is adding fuel to the fire. I don't know if I have a sex addiction or if it is mainly a part of my condition. I love sex and want to have it a lot but these experiences were different due to the compulsivity and the fact that I would not have engaged in such behaviour if I was in my right mind. This has happened in two or three serious/semi-serious relationships (the previous example had this factor too in that I was in a manic state and basically had a week of insanity) and I did feel guilty on every occasion, even though it hasn't happened many times in the grand scheme of things I don't think. Nowadays I am a lot calmer in every way and see it as less of a possibility.

I cheated "by accident" (spontaneously) and did feel guilty. - Happened a few times, too much drink, drugs and whatnot in a party atmosphere. Felt guilty but I don't think that this ever happened in serious relationships.

I have cheated for reasons of vanity (narcissistic fulfilment) and feel guilty. - Kinda. Like the first answer, I have felt unfulfilled, unappreciated and like I wasn't getting as much sex as I felt I needed and so I had flirted with women whilst in relationships, up to phone sex and once browsing Tinder, but I don't think I physically cheated as a result of this. It was a pathetic ego-stroke that I do feel guilty about for sure.

 

[Cheshire_Kat]

I think you missed I have been cheated on have forgiven and and would not cheat on a partner. That would have been my vote.

 

[pharaoh]

I think you missed I have been cheated on have forgiven and and would not cheat on a partner. That would have been my vote.

Thanks, added.

 

[axe battler]

I was cheated on and returned the favour. I would never normally cheat and felt guilty, and our relationship ended soom after.
I wouldn't cheat again.

 

[Juicewrldfan]

Thanks, added.

It says the same thing

 

[paltatomate]

I have been cheated on, didn't care much (so nothing to forgive), but still wouldn't cheat on a partner (for ethical reasons / selfimposed moral rules)

 

[fairnymph]

I haven’t been cheated on, to my knowledge, but I‘d likely forgive him, especially if it were just physical/not emotional. I’ve been in open relationships but I wouldn’t be in one again. I don’t think I could ever cheat on anyone & I’ve never been tempted. I hate lying & deception, & when I’m in love, I don‘t even notice other men.

 

[mauve]

I haven’t been cheated on, to my knowledge, but I‘d likely forgive him, especially if it were just physical/not emotional. I’ve been in open relationships but I wouldn’t be in one again. I don’t think I could ever cheat on anyone & I’ve never been tempted. I hate lying & deception, & when I’m in love, I don‘t even notice other men.

This

 

[Jeanpauldash]

The whole thing was convoluted and boring, I find it much more interesting being asexual and agender now.

Basically I was black out drunk and lied to that I slept with my boyfriend's friend but had to believe it anyway because it is wrong and then engaged in a delusional romance with said liar to try to make something of nothing

Oh yeah and the liar was cheating on me due to my severe ugliness

 

[paltatomate]

I find it much more interesting being asexual and agender now.

That's the way to go!

 

[JB888]

yeeeah ig narcisitic fulfulment is one way to say it. I'll be honest im hella hypocritical with this topic bc my wife she 19 im 25 we have a young daughter together and she was only with 4 ppl b4 me and i would never let her hang ojut with a dude at all and the thing is shes loyal asf i tbh really dont deserve such an amazing woman.. but at the same time ik i do..

but yeah ive cheated more times than i can count and im literally otw to my side chicks apt rn while my wife at home with the baby.... part of me feels bad lots of ways i dont. My gf must know but i always make it up to her with gifts or just loving on her, like ill a weekend her weekend, rub her feet, eat her pussy and ass, back rubs and just let her rest while i handle the house stuff (somehow i managed to not burn down the house almost did cooking ramen) so yeeah i never disrespect her like she never seees them other girls and if they disrespect her i cut them off

but i also feel like men cheating and women cheating are 2 completely different things. a women can not respect a man and cheat on him.. whereas i respect my lady im just a guy in my 20s i have a huge drive like one girl wont satisfy me i mean mostly but i need that new pussy to keep it fresh

 

[paltatomate]

yeeeah ig narcisitic fulfulment is one way to say it. I'll be honest im hella hypocritical with this topic bc my wife she 19 im 25 we have a young daughter together and she was only with 4 ppl b4 me and i would never let her hang ojut with a dude at all and the thing is shes loyal asf i tbh really dont deserve such an amazing woman.. but at the same time ik i do..

but yeah ive cheated more times than i can count and im literally otw to my side chicks apt rn while my wife at home with the baby.... part of me feels bad lots of ways i dont. My gf must know but i always make it up to her with gifts or just loving on her, like ill a weekend her weekend, rub her feet, eat her pussy and ass, back rubs and just let her rest while i handle the house stuff (somehow i managed to not burn down the house almost did cooking ramen) so yeeah i never disrespect her like she never seees them other girls and if they disrespect her i cut them off

but i also feel like men cheating and women cheating are 2 completely different things. a women can not respect a man and cheat on him.. whereas i respect my lady im just a guy in my 20s i have a huge drive like one girl wont satisfy me i mean mostly but i need that new pussy to keep it fresh

that's why i never cared much about this kind of love/partner/couple relationship. it's too much drama and people who were honest with each other before stop being it, and no matter how much they say they understand that the other has "needs" they seldom really do. and that's where the whole fairytale starts to go south

 

[pharaoh]

yeeeah ig narcisitic fulfulment is one way to say it. I'll be honest im hella hypocritical with this topic bc my wife she 19 im 25 we have a young daughter together and she was only with 4 ppl b4 me and i would never let her hang ojut with a dude at all and the thing is shes loyal asf i tbh really dont deserve such an amazing woman.. but at the same time ik i do..

but yeah ive cheated more times than i can count and im literally otw to my side chicks apt rn while my wife at home with the baby.... part of me feels bad lots of ways i dont. My gf must know but i always make it up to her with gifts or just loving on her, like ill a weekend her weekend, rub her feet, eat her pussy and ass, back rubs and just let her rest while i handle the house stuff (somehow i managed to not burn down the house almost did cooking ramen) so yeeah i never disrespect her like she never seees them other girls and if they disrespect her i cut them off

but i also feel like men cheating and women cheating are 2 completely different things. a women can not respect a man and cheat on him.. whereas i respect my lady im just a guy in my 20s i have a huge drive like one girl wont satisfy me i mean mostly but i need that new pussy to keep it fresh

Dude I had a relationship a bit like that but we were younger (me 21, she 18) and she'd only been with one guy. She was fucking blown away by me and super loyal. You've got a kid and all that so that's a tight bond but be careful cos she's young and might grow up and start thinking about other things you know. That's what happened with us, also my madness and chaotic way of living tired her out but she got a job as an air hostess (sexy lil minx) and so we just drifted apart, respectfully and amicably and all that and I was with 3 women after that and always super paranoid that I'd bump into one of them and then one of the others haha. The girlfriend before that I was talking about ended up getting knocked up by some muppet from her hometown and they had a kid which is nice but they named her the name I suggested which pissed me off lol.

Anyway you made me laugh. I can't "condone" your actions but I can't condemn them either cos I've done the same shit.

 

[PtahTek]

No vote but cheated as a result of drug abuse and feel guilty about it to this day.
I mean it is in the past and learned from it.
May happen again, idk but not looking for it to.

 

[deficiT]

I cheated on my ex wife twice. Once with a prostitute when I was out of town for work, and once with this girl I was smoking crack with, who, yeah let's be honest was a prostitute too I just didn't pay her lol. Both times were towards the end of my marriage, and were certainly contributing factors to us getting separated and divorced. I mean, I guess I feel bad in that I would try my best to never do that in a serious relationship again, but in my eyes, the relationship was doomed to fail regardless, as we had been together for a very long time and I carried a lot of resentments for things she had done to me as well years prior. I also cheated on my last girlfriend when I was drunk. I feel like a dipshit about that, I still don't really know if she found out, and I guess I can't anymore because she's passed away now, and I also will never know if she cheated on me or not, not that I give af anymore.

I have been both the cheater and the cheated on, and yeah, I mean, it sucks, but there's usually a contributing factor and I think a lot of the time it's not as serious as people make it out to be. Obviously it's a breach in trust, but many people go through rocky phases of relationships, and ultimately turn things around and become better for it. I don't think that had a chance of happening with my ex wife, as I think we were ultimately incompatible. I think my ex gf and I would have turned things around, had she not passed away, but now I'll never know.

I too have bipolar, as well as ADHD, and this difficulty to focus on one thing has presented in my personal relationships as well, as I've been dealing with these problems since I was in my teens at least. I also get manic phases where I just do batshit crazy and out of character things. This motor has driven me while unmedicated for a lot of my life. I'm working on things in therapy, and I hope to figure this stuff out, but it is really difficult, and I am rather alone because of it. Which is probably for the best, at the moment anyway. There are some cans of worms that shouldn't be opened lol so I'm doing my best to refrain from any relationships, casual or not for a while.

 

[ghostandthedarkness]

never cheated. never will.