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Cheating.. Has it happened to you? Have you cheated? And Can you move on from it..

I've been cheated on numerous times. I've cheated once in my teenage years..I wouldn't be able to move past it, once that kind of trust is broken, there is no getting it back..imo.
 
My only long-term boyfriend ended up cheating on me with one of my closest friends (well...ex closest friends) after being with me for over 2 years and then left me a couple weeks later to be with her. So I just focus on how much of an asshole he is, and how ugly and fat she is.
No but seriously, this may sound petty and stupid but knowing that I'm more attractive than her is actually one of the things that got me through it...I think it would have hurt my ego too much if he'd cheated on me with someone hotter.
 
I've never cheated on someone, no.


If someone cheats on me and asks to be forgiven, then they can go eat shit. There's no way I can have respect for myself and forgive someone who cheats on me. I'm a nice guy, but don't fuck with me in that respect. The girl is lucky if I don't beat the shit out of her and leave her in a wheel-cheer anyway.
 
Yeah I've been cheated on. I've also cheated, I guess you could say. We were on a break and I banged some girl. My X never found out about this.. I felt no guilt, no regret at all towards this. It may be a bit hypocritical, but when she legit cheated on me with my roommate a year later, I kicked in my roommates door when they were both in there with a knife in my hand.. threatened to kill them both if they didn't get the fuck out of my house. Sorry but I'm not going to be disrespected to that caliber. That shit is not going down in my house.
 
Unless you're married or engaged, what solid expectation do you have really? People will stray and then come back if it's meant to be.

The responses that go "I've never been cheated on" Well how do you know with any certaincy it hasn't happened? You're making hopeful assumptions
 
Pagey said:
My only long-term boyfriend ended up cheating on me with one of my closest friends (well...ex closest friends) after being with me for over 2 years and then left me a couple weeks later to be with her. So I just focus on how much of an asshole he is, and how ugly and fat she is.
No but seriously, this may sound petty and stupid but knowing that I'm more attractive than her is actually one of the things that got me through it...I think it would have hurt my ego too much if he'd cheated on me with someone hotter.
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My now ex fiance did the same thing to me. I left her though. You dont happen to live near st louis do ya? Id gladly take ya out a cup of coffee :)
 
All this sex and close emotional contact with different girls has been so painful recently. I have this overwhelming urge to hurt and kill them. It's just unimaginable and horrific and traumatizing.

Oh wait. It's fucking awesome and epic and tonnes of fun! Imagine that, we're all happy without claiming ownership of each others bodies or emotions. It's almost like you could say we love and respect each other as independent, equal, human beings. Also, my ego is not delicate enough to be dented by the fact I'm not the only one who taps that, nor do even I have enough hubris to think I can own someone, and I have a lot of hubris. GET THE FUCK OVER YOUTSELVES.

Much as we on bluelight decry the prohibition of drugs and note that if they where legal,there would be a lot less prisoners, if you make sex 'legal' in your relationships, there would be way less cheating. Pointless prohibitions are pointless and cause harm.

BTW: I could describe a penis thrusting in a vagina with the same equations I'd use to describe a piston moving in a cylinder in a compressor, right down to the oil on the cylinder wall for lubricant but replaced with the secretions. Yup, that's how fucking profound and deep it really is on physical level, on par with an air-conditioner, but a bit simpler.
 
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Serotonin101 said:
My now ex fiance did the same thing to me. I left her though. You dont happen to live near st louis do ya? Id gladly take ya out a cup of coffee :)
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I would have been glad to but I sort of live an ocean away! If you ever come to Europe let me know =D
 
Pagey said:
I would have been glad to but I sort of live an ocean away! If you ever come to Europe let me know =D
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Just a small hop skip and a jump across the pond. I intend to travel europe again as soon as I get my life and finances in order. Gonna do a bluelight world tour.
 
I cheated once. As stated before in this thread being "fucked up" is not an excuse, but in my situation that's ultimately what allowed things to go as far as they did. My ass was carried out of a bar by someone I hardly knew (met him for the first time that night, but had talked to him online/shared mutual friends). I was placed into his car and before I knew it, he was on top of me. It all happened so quickly, but lasted all but a minute or so before I could comprehend what was going on. I told him that I didn't want this and as tears started to well up in my eyes, he got off of me.

The only memories I have are just a few short movie-like clips of that night. I remember trying to explain how to get to my house from where we were, I remember sitting at my front door and looking for my phone to call my BF at the time. Between hysterical sobs I told him everything that had taken place and that I loved him so incredibly much. I didn't sleep at all that night. I waited until I sobered up enough to drive the 40 minutes to his house to tell him face to face and pray to god he'd stay with me, even though I expected the worst.

This happened around 7 months in our relationship, but we continued to date for over another year. I slowly deteriorated over time though. I let myself go, I stopped taking care of myself..I hated myself. He grew into an angry and violent (never towards me) person who would never look at me with the same eyes again. He ended it in May finally saying that he couldn't take it anymore. I admire him for being strong enough to know that we both we're falling apart from the inside out. I think cheating is pretty hard to forget, but I believe under some circumstances, it is possible to forgive. We don't rule out the possibility of trying again someday, but we're currently take time for ourselves and to do the growing up that both of us need. I still think about him every single day though.

There is absolutely no reason to cheat. Everyone should know their limits, boundaries, and be able to recognize the love that they have for their partner.
 
Serotonin101 said:
Just a small hop skip and a jump across the pond. I intend to travel europe again as soon as I get my life and finances in order. Gonna do a bluelight world tour.
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Ooh that's kinda cool. Well you can come see me in London or Paris then! (I'll be alternating between the two for the next 3 years)
 
Pagey said:
Ooh that's kinda cool. Well you can come see me in London or Paris then! (I'll be alternating between the two for the next 3 years)
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I was actually in paris 11 years ago to this day. Vacation with my parents when i lived in germany. It was a long train ride and it rained the entire time we were there :( still fun though. Ill dig up some old photos and post em up sometime.
 
Yeah my ex cheated on me with my good friend/ neighbour whilst I was working.. He got violent, put me in hospital and they went off together. Took me a while to get over.
 
I was trying to answer you via PM and being all impressive and speaking German and all, but your inbox is full :(
 
Pagey said:
I was trying to answer you via PM and being all impressive and speaking German and all, but your inbox is full :(
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Fix'd. Didn't realize how many messages I had lol. I speak a lot more spanish now and have forgotten a lot of my German =( I can still read it pretty well but when it comes to speaking, I'm german illiterate now.
 
i think these things can be forgiven, but only in the right circumstances. due to some complicated, addiction/metal illness related issues both myself and my ex cheated in some way before our separation. we have both remained with our single status despite any fucks since then. and it has been a few years. we talk sometimes. it is the mutual feeling that eventually we will end up together again, if we get our shit together enough. if we can do that. there is no interest/desire for other people beyond skin deep. i don't think that is a common situation, and i don't think this is the blueprint for anything. my feeling is, if someone cheats on you they really aren't worth it. or it was, before this. i guess it's all relative.

generally speaking though, in a situation maybe not so long term as mine, when someone you are fucking exclusively fucks someone else without telling you it's pretty much a blatant disregard for not only your feelings but your personal, bodily safety.

i suppose i also cheated on my first boyfriend. i was 16 and he was 19. in that case i was just being a dick. he had been grossing me out for a while. i even used an internet program to call his house (mothers house) pretending to be a sex toy website with a botched dildo order. all a part of my high school spiral into introspective, self loathing existential hell and he was just a casualty.

i was once the lay of a married man during a particularly careless, shitty time and that was pretty gross. the scary thing was how polished this guy was on the surface. met him on a dating site, and when my friend and i made a troll account he messaged that one too with much the same approach. he is apparently a professor somewhere. these guys are too polished. something ted bundy about it.
 
Yeah... my ex girlfriend cheated on me with three of my "friends." For the first couple months I denied it because theirs no way she'd stoop to that level, she was the best thing I thought I'd ever had in my life.

I had a few people tell me to drop her and that she was cheating on me with a lot of guys but it wasn't until one night I was out with a buddy who I haven't seen in years at a bar and we both saw my girlfriend with one of my friends all over each other. Turns out the buddy I was with that night was a dealer, mostly pot and we've been good friends since. I relapsed after being sober for 8 months. From what I can remember, I went stupid with benzo's and weed the next couple months.

It definitely hurt and I was definitely being dumb with the drugs afterwards, but overall it was a learning experience. I still hate that bitch though ;)
 
Have I been cheated on? Yes.

Have you cheated? Only kind of. Because I was upfront with it the whole time. So no?

Can I move on from it? Yes. People who cheat do so because they are insecure. If the cheater was inherently disappointed sexually, or hated the relationship, assuming they have no children, then they would be honest and end it or say what the problem was. It's unfortunate because the person being cheated on can interpret it as something negative about them until they realize whats really going on.
 
I cheated 4 years ago and my girl could not get over it. At the time I was smoking a lot of crystal meth, which had something to do with it-the lowering of inhibitions. I should mention that I cheated on her with a guy, me being a bisexual male. She's still pissed off and hurt to this day and I don't blame her.

I might've been able to forgive had the positions been switched but I would never be able to forget. I can move on, and since we broke up I pretty much have to.
 
I cheated on my now-wife when we were still just dating. I was high and drunk and fucked up . I told her immediately thereafter. It was a hard period but obviously we got through it and we're now happily married.
 
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