Chapter II: The Abyss is Eternal !

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jhjhsdi said:
#BAREBACK4LYF
PRAY 4 MOJO AND MY COCK


Whats everyone doing I'm drunko again and also so skint I definitely didnt shoplift some meat snacks and cheese earlier when I spent my last £4 on 2 bottles of shit 5% cider

My ex ex Mrs was jus calling me but I didn't answer. I did text back and say what do you want but no reply. If she has drugs she can come round lol
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more fucc and beers

prayed for your dicc too <3

let us see it some time in the nudie thread when you are ready to show it off
 
I'm eating tinned soup my mate gave me with my last 50p glass of shit 5% cider (which by the way is wearing off already ffs - reckon those shakes are gona come earlier than 5pm tomorrow 😒)

Skint times!
Gofundme?
 
jhjhsdi said:
I'm eating tinned soup my mate gave me with my last 50p glass of shit 5% cider (which by the way is wearing off already ffs - reckon those shakes are gona come earlier than 5pm tomorrow 😒)

Skint times!
Gofundme?
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tell your mate you changed your mind about the fun stuff he had planned for you 😅

sorry - had to go there
 
The Wizard of the Creek said:
The biggest riddle of them all was, sssh... they were all gay all the time, everyday, all day, all the time; Gay all of the day!

Batman!
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🍀 🍀 🍀 🍀
A guy goes into the bathroom at a bar.
He's using the urinal when this really short guy starts using the urinal next to him. The guy can't help but notice this little guy is hung like a donkey. Having had a few drinks, he comments on the dudes huge member.
The short guy laughs and in a thick Irish accent he says, "Aye. I'm a leprechaun. We're all hung like this!"

The other dude says, "No shit?! You lucky bastard!"

The leprechaun says, "'Tis true for certain, but you can be hung like this as well!"

Astonished, the guy says, "How??"

The leprechaun winks and says, "Well, you have to let me bugger ya good."

Taken aback the guy says, "I dunno. I'm not gay. I've never done that...."

The leprechaun says, "Relax! Nobody will ever know and since it's your first time, I'll be gentle. And just think. You'll be hung to your knees!"

The guy kicks it around before finally giving in. Back in the stall, the leprechaun starts ass raping him and making conversation.

"What's your name friend?" he asks.

Trying to think through the pain he says, "James. Name is James."

"Aye! Good strong Christian name that is! Do they call you Jim? Jimmy? James?"

"Ummm...fuck that hurts....mostly Jim..."

"Then Jim it tis! Tell me Jim, are ye married?"

"Uhhh...fuck...are you almost done? Yeah. Married 15 years..."

"Marriage is fine, fine institution. Any children?"

"Christ! I think I'm bleeding! Yeah. Two children. A boy and a girl, 12 and 5! C'mon man!"

"Ease yerself, Jim, I'm close. And tell me Jim, how old are you?"

"Fuck! I'm 46! Are we done??"

"We are Jim, but tell me, isn't 46 a bit old to believe in leprechauns?"
 
Captain.Heroin said:
tell your mate you changed your mind about the fun stuff he had planned for you 😅

sorry - had to go there
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Aparantly he doesn't remember anything... That old chestnut.

I wish he'd just come out loud and proud and be himself and be happy, I'd support him all the way, I could tell he was unhappy/angry/confused last night :(
 
jhjhsdi said:
Aparantly he doesn't remember anything... That old chestnut.

I wish he'd just come out loud and proud and be himself and be happy, I'd support him all the way, I could tell he was unhappy/angry/confused last night :(
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he prolly has mancrush on you
 
Captain.Heroin said:
he prolly has mancrush on you
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Yeah I reckon so pal. Not really much I can do about it though is there.
When I realized what was going on I tried to make myself appear disgusting/unattractive as possible (sticking my gut out more than it already does, farting loudly, blowing k snot into my hands, etc) to try put him off but it didn't seem to work lol

I wish I was ripped like the guy on that cover. I used to be close to that when I was younger and a gym junkie. I've still got big arms/shoulders, but my cider/pizza gut makes me look like I'm 6 months pregnant 😂

I miss my abs. I miss my veins more though. RIP.

Need to seriously consider a diet I think :(
 
jhjhsdi said:
When I realized what was going on I tried to make myself appear disgusting/unattractive as possible (sticking my gut out more than it already does, farting loudly, blowing k snot into my hands, etc) to try put him off but it didn't seem to work lol
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:love:

that's a real man right there
 
Police Detective said:
DEEP STATE AGENT ANDYTURBO has been working long and hard on OPERATION STRAIGHTGATE. In the field he was leader of TEAM PHI which had a four hour stand off with CAPTAIN.HEROINE. The standoff involved seventy four fallen officers, twelve non-fatal injuries, two deep state friendly fire incidents (non-fatal) and a ricocheted bullet which blew up a gas station. The estimated damage is in the sub-million USD range, but may exceed it if nearby businesses report collateral damage (deep state agents will intercept private insurance claims and make alterations as necessary on a regular basis).

Despite @andyturbo and his excellent leadership of TEAM PHI, they were unable to re-capture CAPTAIN.HEROINE and bring him to justice.

See something, say something. Head down description. Make and model and license plate. Keep your ears and eyes open. Stay alert. Do not be a hero; call for backup. Your actions can save lives.
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He can't fight, if I raise my hand he closes his eyes. What are we talkin about
 
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