DJSethNichols
Bluelighter
:::as a means of journaling this thread into today:::
I'm not celibate today...but still very conscious of the concerns I had above...and the restraints I had on certain aspects. I currently aim for a balance and moderation and it works well.
I think I may have had some personal problems with sexuality to a degree of sometimes being overly consumed by that fire inside that I couldn't tame (not to extreme measures really, but enough to bother me, a perfectionist). And I had to turn it off in order to get control of it...and now I let it flow again but I have much greater control over it all together so that it doesn't control me. Of course the battle is not completely won, will it ever be? Probably not in this state of life.
It was a step that was important to the growth into 'me' today...the mindset & focus I had played vital in my mental growth, in other areas as well. (I was sexless for 2.5 years, with 2 of those years in the claim of celibacy, then the flow changed and my heart was moving in new directions). I've had sex with 2 girls...1st was for a 1.5 years with a girl > prior to the my sexless time, & the 2nd I am currently engaged to
feels right & good
I'm not celibate today...but still very conscious of the concerns I had above...and the restraints I had on certain aspects. I currently aim for a balance and moderation and it works well.
I think I may have had some personal problems with sexuality to a degree of sometimes being overly consumed by that fire inside that I couldn't tame (not to extreme measures really, but enough to bother me, a perfectionist). And I had to turn it off in order to get control of it...and now I let it flow again but I have much greater control over it all together so that it doesn't control me. Of course the battle is not completely won, will it ever be? Probably not in this state of life.
It was a step that was important to the growth into 'me' today...the mindset & focus I had played vital in my mental growth, in other areas as well. (I was sexless for 2.5 years, with 2 of those years in the claim of celibacy, then the flow changed and my heart was moving in new directions). I've had sex with 2 girls...1st was for a 1.5 years with a girl > prior to the my sexless time, & the 2nd I am currently engaged to

feels right & good
Last edited: