cease

[Dastrix Slogan]

my old copper watch has frozen
its hands stay silent at two past alone
i fear tiny cogs
and gears and wheels and springs
and things
(of which i have such little understanding)
will never be wound again

i fear that if i leave it in the snow
i forsake the one who wound it first
and placed its small beating heart in my hand
i fear that if i take it with
it will be my crutch of days
burning fingers that slowly snuff out flame

but i fear the most
that way between the stars beyond us
between heavens towering timepieces
their cogs and wheels and springs
and things
(of which i have such little understanding)
cosmic silt has sifted through
infinty turns no more

a wish on a star
grinds into screamless cease
and i shall
never
see you again

 

[sickpuppy]

^Pretty good. I kinda relate it to letting go of things that once were cherished but now are keeping you from moving on with your life. Such as first or old loves,friends,or even memories.

 

[(Wordy)]

Pretty good?! I think it's absolutely incredible!

So many deft lines; beautiful unravelling of the themes:

its hands stay silent at two past alone

placed its small beating heart in my hand

I love the repetition of this:

cogs and wheels and springs
and things
(of which i have such little understanding)

The repetition is what the poem hinges on for its metaphysical conceit, which sits proudly in the tradition of Donne, Marvell, etc. Also I'm reminded of Charles Simic's poem Watch Repair.

And this part is perhaps the most beautiful of all:

but i fear the most
that way between the stars beyond us
between heavens towering timepieces

 

[yakksoho]

So unbelievably austere
And true
It is felt
And frozen

 

[katmeow]

my old copper watch has frozen
its hands stay silent at two past alone

Beautiful, from start to finish!

The sadness in your words is palpable.

I wish you posted more often.

 

[lostNfound]

absolutely awesome from beginning to end.

I love all things about and related to time and what it can do in any sense of the word.

 

[up all night]

That was amazing. I think it's my favourite thing you've ever written. It broke my heart to read and not much does that to me any more.

 

[pennywise]

definately good, especially the repitition of the one line. I have to say that I was surprised by the end. It seemed like such a universal statement was being made, and then it became sort of personalized in the end. Although maybe there is a connection there...was that intentional? either way, great work.

 

[RareForm]

it isn't often that you post a poem. but when you do they're always so phantasmagorical. and i would undoubtedly agree with most of the ideas Wordy had to suggest. i'll relive this in reverie.

 

[(Wordy)]

Something else I've been wondering... am I right to sense the influence of e.e.cummings in this poem?

 

[feathersioux]

I know how this feels....