neoblazing
Bluelighter
confront him and give him the option to tell his wife if he refuses I would ppull his wife aside one day and tell her privately she deserves to know the truth no matter how hard it is to hear
You *DO* need to grow a pair and have a chat with your friend.. Whilst you probably don't want to ruin his family, if he is having an affair, or worse; multiple affairs/lovers, there may be health implications for his wife. Not to mention emotional ones.
I think you need to discuss it with him and I also think that if it is beyond what is fair on his wife / family to be left in the dark about, then HE needs to discuss it with his wife.
its a real thing and it will give you real hiv if you do it in a cruising high risk patterm
I remember doing some research a while back, and I believe there is a 10% chance to contract HIV through anal sex which is a lot higher than vaginal sex. The bodily fluids pass through micro tears in the anus. Since the anus wasn't made for sex, there is a much higher likelihood of getting micro tears.
I guess if a man was to engage in such an act over 10 times, he would have a high probability of having HIV. I know you've probably heard the stories of meth users who have sexual orgies and disregard practicing safe sex.
There is the other side of the spectrum where people have parties solely to catch / infect people with HIV. Some people see having HIV as almost a badge of honor - they almost 'should' have HIV (why let something like HIV stop you sleeping about, engaging in high risk sex etc).
To the OP - you waited about until the guy came out of the bushes? If you really think this concerns you then speak to him about it - ask him what he was doing in such a place.
Question now is, the guy has 3 kids one who is close to my age and is married to his wife still. Should I tell them their dad is a closet case?
Just know the consequences before you do it. You could be responsible for breaking up a family.
Maybe its something he's done a few times, and then moves on regretting what he did. I think you should talk to him about it and stay away from his wife & kids.