Roger that post resonated so much with me. I went to a weekend rave once just to see what it was like after reading about how much of a unifying experience it is...well it really wasn't that great

I felt so out of place there. Just a bunch of people swallowing whatever they got they're hands on and some of it was downright disturbing. Never again.
I use MDMA in a similar way. I find I don't REALLY like LSD without a little MDMA mixed in (80mg or so), basically just a noticeable threshold. That's how I like to do LSD, so in that sense I take MDMA once a month but I only take a full MDMA by itself once every 6 months or a year and every time it's absolutely beautiful.
I'm so angry at what E pills have become and where I live it's all I have access to.

I always make sure I have a clean pill so in that sense I have access to MDMA but crystal continues to elude me.
I also only buy once a year and I'm glad for it. The people I have to deal with to obtain it I'm not too fond of. It's mixed right in there with the meth/coke scene and it's really sad. Perfect example of something beautiful falling into the wrong hands.
I'm honestly hoping that the shitty state of the pill market has a rebound effect. After people start getting more and more toxic reactions to pipes/meth et al the demand will fall and if people still want to roll the crystal market will jump in and compensate.
If I had one psychoactive material for the rest of my life it would be MDMA. I could do without all the other stuff. I could definitely see myself quiting psychedelics and living a happy life having one MDMA experience a year. I'm finding I'm losing the desire to go out of my mind. I like staying in this world and being "normal" and connecting with people. The real psychedelics crack my head open (as Andy puts it) and I find that's just not what I want anymore.
Unfortunately I also feel myself loosing access to illegals. My life is getting more proffesional and I'm losing contact with friends of the past, some of this is a good thing but pills are harder to get and forget about crystal.
I honestly think that if I want to continue to have a supply of MDMA for a once or twice a year experience I'm going to have to make it myself.