capable of loving>it just came out of me!

[exoiced]

Never say never
Cling to hope
One day
Able to wrap
Your arms
Capable of loving

You are
I know this
You do it
Without notice
I never
Most of the time


I wrote this and it's not like anything I ever wrote, well definately not like my usual work, I don't know what's going on with this, I sort of like it but also don't think it's that much to dwell on. Please critique this, what do you think? Peace.:D

 

[(Wordy)]

I like the short, clipped lines - especially the second stanza (which has a nice kind of indeterminacy to it).

The first stanza is a little cliched, although I like the way "Able to wrap / your arms" just slots in there.

It's definitely a different look for you though. I can imagine it as song lyrics... it has that 'decontextualised' message of love that's common to many songs.

 

[Raz]

^^^I was totally gonna say song lyrics.....I can hear this as a really catchy song; especially the second stanza...

 

[exoiced]

I wasn't that happy with the second part so I changed it. It's still a weird one but i'll be getting my guitar out, I've been meaning to make some music now for a while.

Never say never
Cling to hope
One day
Able to wrap
Your arms
Capable of loving

You are
I know this
You do it
Without notice
Most of the time
I never

 

[psillocybin]

i like it! catchy