If you're going without three weeks out of every four I'd suggest you should see about doing without them for the one week you're using them too. It's debatable what your need of them is if you're managing to go without most of the time surely, and must be a huge contributory factor to your mental state fucking with your brain chemistry constantly like that. Can hardly be worth the one week's worth of relief to have constant distress the other three, can it? Doubt you'll suddenly be able to learn control because of the pattern now established, the addictive behaviour has been allowed to take over and rule the impulse control. All or nothing I think, abstinence or proper management but no useful middle ground to be had from this pattern.