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Can't even get drunk now.

BadBoy377 said:
Couple times a week seems reasonable. Do you get totally fucked rolling on floor can't do anything high? Or just a nice buzz but you could still cook dinner if you had to?
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Depends on dosage. I don't like to nod out (seems like a waste of a good high) but I do like that state where you pretty much don't wanna do anything but lie down and float. ;)
 
SoCalShordie said:
Hang in there, you got this. I also supplemented with alcohol when I got off the hard stuff. You gotta try to find other ways to release serotonin in your brain. I used to hate when people suggested exercise, but it really helps. So did going on walks alone with my headphones in and just zoning out and feeling the music. As well as long drives by myself. You got this!
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I do all these things anyway. Always loved going on long walks, always enjoyed music, and I exercise routinely anyways. Thing is these are apples and oranges to me. If say I have a yen for a bar of chocolate and somebody suggests I eat a slice of onion pie instead, that doesn't work because while both delicious they aren't anywhere near the same thing. I may want the pie some other time but RIGHT NOW in this moment what I'm after is the specific taste of chocolate.
 
TheUltimateFixx said:
Depends on dosage. I don't like to nod out (seems like a waste of a good high) but I do like that state where you pretty much don't wanna do anything but lie down and float. ;)
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Doesn't seem an unreasonable thing to do a couple times a week.
 
TheUltimateFixx said:
I was put on methadone once. I hated the stuff. It gave me a 2-dimensional cardboard cut-out zombified feeling. And yeah getting off it was pretty horrendous too.
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I guess everybody's different. Methadone is actually one of my favorite opioids. It gives me pain relief (both physical & emotional), energy, and a positive outlook on life.

Go figure.
 
TheUltimateFixx said:
I do all these things anyway. Always loved going on long walks, always enjoyed music, and I exercise routinely anyways. Thing is these are apples and oranges to me. If say I have a yen for a bar of chocolate and somebody suggests I eat a slice of onion pie instead, that doesn't work because while both delicious they aren't anywhere near the same thing. I may want the pie some other time but RIGHT NOW in this moment what I'm after is the specific taste of chocolate.
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Yeah I feel you on that, trust me I do. I felt the same way when getting off opiates and I rolled my eyes and cringed anytime somebody suggested exercising lol. You just gotta find the will. Have you tried supplementing with weed maybe? See I’m not too good at suggesting things to do instead of drugs bc having my baby changed my mental and I wanted nothing to do with that life anymore. That was the only thing that got me sober. Maybe u can get pregnant too? Haha jk just tryna make u laugh 🤭
 
Honestly, eating healthy and exercising is pretty much the same as doing drugs to me now, but I think of it from a pharmacological perspective. Like:

Eating magnesium and tyrosine rich foods helps facilitate the production of dopamine and absorbs it into the prefrontal cortex and its also a precursor for norepinephrine

It's obviously not going to make it so that you don't want to get fucked up but it helps.

I also like high intensity cardio because it really pumps those endorphins. which increases GABA transmission and as a result, dopamine levels.

If you are seeking the same experience as drugs you will never learn to be satisfied, and learning to become satisfied is KEY to changing your drug habits

A really good book that helped me see all the things I could do to improve my mental state is "The Upwards Spiral". Written by a neurologist but its very accessible. I have read this book 3 times because its a good reminder of how actions can help me control my emotions/desires/etc.

IMO, you have to control your mind, or your mind will control you.
 
TheUltimateFixx said:
Yep. I've been using only about twice a week on average for the past few years but my partner doesn't want me using AT ALL.
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That just sounds intolerant and dumb unless i'm missing something.

Sorry i don't want to be offensive but using an opiate in a controlled way once every 14 days is pretty much objectively a less problematic behavior than wanting to change that.

If you have a problem you should want to get rid of it yourself, not for someone else. Otherwise you might breed resentment toward that person.

Again sorry if i'm being too blunt.
 
Mjäll said:
That just sounds intolerant and dumb unless i'm missing something.

Sorry i don't want to be offensive but using an opiate in a controlled way once every 14 days is pretty much objectively a less problematic behavior than wanting to change that.

If you have a problem you should want to get rid of it yourself, not for someone else. Otherwise you might breed resentment toward that person.

Again sorry if i'm being too blunt.
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Nope you're fine. He's not being intolerant or dumb, I just pushed him too far. For one I pursued the relationship without telling him I was a heroin user, while certain remarks of his in casual conversation made it clear that that would be a deal-breaker for him in terms of anything serious. (But falling in love is the greatest drug of all I guess, it overrides your reason.)

Then after I finally fessed up and he surprisingly did not leave me, I just ended up stretching his already wafer-thin tolerance to the limit. Promised I wasn't gonna use during a visit to my (user ) best mate, then did so anyway. So that was another breach of trust. And this is a guy who veeery reluctantly decided he might JUST concede the occasional weekend hit despite the fact he detests 'junkies' (he's from Brazil where you can see the damage cartels do first-hand and the majority of druggies are violent criminals who won't hesitate to shoot and rob you for their habit, so I can't blame him).
Whatever goodwill he mustered on the matter I've recklessly squandered and it's totally me being the arsehole for it. I frankly admit that.
I just sorta needed to vent my self-induced frustration. Xd
 
TheUltimateFixx said:
Nope you're fine. He's not being intolerant or dumb, I just pushed him too far. For one I pursued the relationship without telling him I was a heroin user, while certain remarks of his in casual conversation made it clear that that would be a deal-breaker for him in terms of anything serious. (But falling in love is the greatest drug of all I guess, it overrides your reason.)

Then after I finally fessed up and he surprisingly did not leave me, I just ended up stretching his already wafer-thin tolerance to the limit. Promised I wasn't gonna use during a visit to my (user ) best mate, then did so anyway. So that was another breach of trust. And this is a guy who veeery reluctantly decided he might JUST concede the occasional weekend hit despite the fact he detests 'junkies' (he's from Brazil where you can see the damage cartels do first-hand and the majority of druggies are violent criminals who won't hesitate to shoot and rob you for their habit, so I can't blame him).
Whatever goodwill he mustered on the matter I've recklessly squandered and it's totally me being the arsehole for it. I frankly admit that.
I just sorta needed to vent my self-induced frustration. Xd
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Oh right. What a complicated situation. I wish you the best.
 
TheUltimateFixx said:
Nope you're fine. He's not being intolerant or dumb, I just pushed him too far. For one I pursued the relationship without telling him I was a heroin user, while certain remarks of his in casual conversation made it clear that that would be a deal-breaker for him in terms of anything serious. (But falling in love is the greatest drug of all I guess, it overrides your reason.)

Then after I finally fessed up and he surprisingly did not leave me, I just ended up stretching his already wafer-thin tolerance to the limit. Promised I wasn't gonna use during a visit to my (user ) best mate, then did so anyway. So that was another breach of trust. And this is a guy who veeery reluctantly decided he might JUST concede the occasional weekend hit despite the fact he detests 'junkies' (he's from Brazil where you can see the damage cartels do first-hand and the majority of druggies are violent criminals who won't hesitate to shoot and rob you for their habit, so I can't blame him).
Whatever goodwill he mustered on the matter I've recklessly squandered and it's totally me being the arsehole for it. I frankly admit that.
I just sorta needed to vent my self-induced frustration. Xd
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What was your plan in the early stages of the relationship? Did you intend it to be brief enough he'd never find out?
It seems like you are choosing something (him) that you aren't sure you want.

My husband wouldn't even tolerate weed for years, I came off everything, because I wanted him and kids, my choice.
I don't think he loved me enough to accept who I was and maybe I should have walked but I didn't.

He doesn't apply the same rules to alcohol because it's legal and he's a drinker
It took a hell of a long time, 20 years plus, now he tolerates me using not only weed but opiates too. It's because his preconceived ideas don't look or act like me and eventually he trusted me to handle it (sort of, I did get hooked on opiates behind his back one time but he was nothing but supportive when I admitted I was in wds, that's when he found out).
Do you want to wait that long?
It might never happen that you can have both, I got lucky in the end.
 
papercuts said:
What was your plan in the early stages of the relationship? Did you intend it to be brief enough he'd never find out?
It seems like you are choosing something (him) that you aren't sure you want.
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I was aiming for long-term but thinking I could conceal indefinitely. When that turned out to not be feasible I hoped I could persuade him to tolerate non-addictive use. Which ALMOST happened. At one point he actually considered learning how to administrate naloxone in case of overdose. But then I had to go push all the wrong buttons and now even a single instance of use is absolutely off the table for negotiation.
 
TheUltimateFixx said:
I was aiming for long-term but thinking I could conceal indefinitely. When that turned out to not be feasible I hoped I could persuade him to tolerate non-addictive use. Which ALMOST happened. At one point he actually considered learning how to administrate naloxone in case of overdose. But then I had to go push all the wrong buttons and now even a single instance of use is absolutely off the table for negotiation.
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That's tough. It takes time to build the trust back up but without that what is the point of the relationship?
 
papercuts said:
That's tough. It takes time to build the trust back up but without that what is the point of the relationship?
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Speaking from experience, sometimes the trust never comes back. It does not bubble up from some infinite spring.

It is really so much better to be honest and deal with the consequences.

Just wanna throw that out there.
 
I began drinking once I’d got over a heroin addiction and after 10yrs ended up in hospital with pancreatitis. Many many people stop smack to then pick up the bottle, try not to make this mistake. Just a while ago I was thinking about heroin and alcohol and how alcohol is definitely as ‘hard’ a drug if not more so, than heroin. It’s led me to make some of the most stupid decisions I’ve ever made which changed the course of my life forever. Heroin didn’t generally do that (apart from the inherent risk of using heroin IV that is). However, I was very careful the vast majority of the time on heroin which is the opposite of what I was generally like on booze.
 
I think a lot of people who used opioids end up with alcohol problems. Their was something called 'the THIQ hypothesis' which states that alcohol prevents the metabolism of endomorphins.

I stopped using opioids and went on to drink two bottles of vodka or gin a day for over a year. Can't rattle if you are unconscious I guess.

But the only valid reason to stop using a drug is because you want to. If you are doing it for someone else, you rely on external validation.

I stopped because I didn't want to die aged 30.

Since then it's been a mixed bag. But not NEEDING a drug - I really enjoy that (says he rolling a ciggy).
 
TheUltimateFixx said:
I do all these things anyway. Always loved going on long walks, always enjoyed music, and I exercise routinely anyways. Thing is these are apples and oranges to me. If say I have a yen for a bar of chocolate and somebody suggests I eat a slice of onion pie instead, that doesn't work because while both delicious they aren't anywhere near the same thing. I may want the pie some other time but RIGHT NOW in this moment what I'm after is the specific taste of chocolate.
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What the fuck is an onion pie?
 
www.tasteofhome.com

Onion Pie

My grandmother and mother always make onion pie during the holidays, but it's good anytime. This is a savory side dish that you can serve with almost any meat or main course. It's especially good with roast beef. —Mary West, Marstons Mills, Massachusetts
www.tasteofhome.com www.tasteofhome.com
 
puke said:
What the fuck is an onion pie?
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I'd have thought the name is rather unambiguous. Xd

It's an open pie filled with mainly onions. You make a shortcrust pastry case, then you slice up a heap of onions and slowly cook them in butter until they are soft and golden, season & add some thyme, spread them in the case, then you top up the whole thing with a mix of cream / milk and beaten eggs so it sets as it bakes. It's absolutely delicious (and goes great with beer haha).
 
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