*sigh*
I know, I know. I'm willingly displaying my insanity of addiction... It's stupid to read, but this just.has.to be talked out with YOU (all of you) who have gone the path of benzos already! And really I have 2 issues going on, what with weaning AND making a decision about medication.
mariposa. there is something to be said for how you call it "benzodiazepine therapy". I have seen that process. Which is totally different, TOTALLY different than benzodiazepine abuse. I do realize that I could never maintain that "schedule" I wrote out; loading up & tapering off EVERY week. I have a LOT to do, and if I become dehabilitated - it IS playing with fire, after all - then I have major consequences. I'm getting ready to move in like 4 weeks to a new city to start anew as a single mom

So life is happening for me and I really need to make some
wise life choices.
The rationale I have used to nurse while on various medications + marijuana is that any psychological benefit from nursing, thus satisfying the Freudian "oral" stage of development... will surpass any physical damage. If addiction is genetic, she's.... totally.... screwed
Her parents are addicts, & all 4 of her grandparents were addicts (or alcoholics). Since mind/body are one, I may as well nurture her psychological well-being, because physically there is not MUCH chance for avoiding addiction.
My own mother's heart stopped in 2003, with an OD of Xanax/Codeine/Vicodin. And the baby daddy, who I live with, accepts that I breastfeed and he gives me the stuff.

So I do not feel socially suppressed. But now. Technology intervenes. Because I come here and display my sins, causing cognitive dissonance..
Tonight was our 2nd night weaning. I haven't nursed her since 1PM, 10 hours ago, and she's asleep for the night. %)