good luck to you man! it is no easy task man, but you are strong! you are still alive and you keep fighting the good fight! you are a good guy and one of my favorite mods. i know you can do it! it is tough to get out of that cycle of destruction even when you are on the subs, but i think you know what to do. my advice is to make sure you make a change, do something different this time. i fucking hate this AA slogan, but insanity is doing the same thing and expecting the same results!
one of the best things anyone has ever told me (which was you), is to just focus on TODAY! when you look and think how bad the WD or be or how will anything change, life becomes unbearable! try to think about "what is," instead of "what if." i dont know you that well, but you have really helped me and many other people; however i find it soo much harder to take my own advice and apply it.
there is no easy way out, even suboxone doesnt completely void all the bad shit that happens in life, and you know that it is sooooo fucking easy to be on suboxone and switch to IV cocaine or alcohol. dont let yourself fall to that, you are soo much better than that! i definitely feel like you have suffered enough for a lifetime as i do know you have been in the game for a while. never give up on yourself scag, you are awesome and i believe in you!
-laC