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Bupe Bupe tapering

codydion said:
i had a similar experience regarding the family situation. wife didn't know of my addiction and i got on subs in the dark and kept it from her for quite some time. as soon as your stable and you feel like you won't ever turn back to opiates i think that's the best time to get off the subs. my wife didn't know for a long time until it finally came out and she was supportive and just happy to know that i was trying. i know having kids makes detox a lot harder so having support is awesome and it will be ensure you get the best chance at a healthy life. get sober any way you have to. come on here to chat any time you feel you need to. it helped me get though it all.
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Thank you, I probably will take you up on that. I fell off the wagon again and I'm feeling really low.
 
Karamazov said:
so has anyone who’s ever gotten clean! Its a process and most people slip up a bunch before they finally clean up. the important part is to realize it was just a slip up and does not mean the beginning of another binge.
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You're right. It's just a slip up.
Honestly, I've been through WD before, but I don't know what it is this time around that makes it seem impossible. I feel so low and I hate that knowing all I have to do is take Vicodin to feel better.
 
Wish i had a pep talk to give you but the reality is it just kinda sucks. Not kinda. it sucks. Just embrace the suck For a while and don’t try to avoid it. Slowly, it will get better.
 
Branden0713 said:
Thank you, I probably will take you up on that. I fell off the wagon again and I'm feeling really low.
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i know the feeling. keep looking ahead and remember what your goals are. sometimes it take a lot of struggling to finally break free. i've been there many times and i mean MANY. it happens to all of us. how are you doing now
 
codydion said:
i know the feeling. keep looking ahead and remember what your goals are. sometimes it take a lot of struggling to finally break free. i've been there many times and i mean MANY. it happens to all of us. how are you doing now
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Today was an emotional nightmare honestly. I know that's to be expected, I guess I've just forgotten how emotional WD can be. I cried for almost an hour. The shame and self loathing is very present but I'm trying to remain optimistic and positive. It's just a real bitch
 
Branden0713 said:
Today was an emotional nightmare honestly. I know that's to be expected, I guess I've just forgotten how emotional WD can be. I cried for almost an hour. The shame and self loathing is very present but I'm trying to remain optimistic and positive. It's just a real bitch
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detox is an emotional roller coaster. remind yourself that you can't change the past but you can shape the future.
 
Btw, day 4 at 2mg. just decided to drop from 2.5 to 2. Feeling okay but a bit sluggish. Waking up every two hours at night but usually fall back asleep in10-20 Mins.
 
good job karamazov. when you drop your dose is it on a schedule or whenever you feel like your ready?
 
Codydion - I'm trying lol I feel more optimistic today. Not sure if it's a fluke but I'm trying to enjoy it while it lasts.

Karamozov - I cry just thinking about shit, I cannot imagine the tears that would come from watching anything sad lol
You are doing a good job and it's giving me alot of hope.
 
Cody Dion - I have a rough schedule, trying to drop every 10-14 days. Was planning on going from 2.5 to 2.25 but just decide to try 2. So far so good. Gonna spend at least 2 weeks, maybe 3, here before dropping again.

Or I might just stay at 2. That was original plan and I am not sure if I want to get off completely.
 
If it keeps you from going back then stay on 2. However you can always go back if total sobriety isnt for you.
It's no big deal having to throw a little pill in your mouth if it's going to stop you fucking up your life again.
I worry about my methadone getting cut off for some reason. Like war or natural disaster. 85mg a day would take a long time to get over.
2mg of bupe is also awful to CT from, but ive done it and it was a couple weeks of pain.
Don't worry about how long it takes you unless you have a real personal reason to stop completely.
 
Karamazov said:
Cody Dion - I have a rough schedule, trying to drop every 10-14 days. Was planning on going from 2.5 to 2.25 but just decide to try 2. So far so good. Gonna spend at least 2 weeks, maybe 3, here before dropping again.

Or I might just stay at 2. That was original plan and I am not sure if I want to get off completely.
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low and slow is smart. at those lower you start to feel those reductions quite a bit more. how long have you been on subs if ya don't mind me asking
 
Branden0713 said:
Thank you for the advice. It means alot.
I hate to say but I had a moment of weakness and took Vicodin again for a day. I know the sub blocks it from the brain I just feel like I failed. I feel so lost and aimless which I know is part of the mental symptoms it just makes everything that much more difficult. Im sure I'll be back on here seeking encouragement and support.
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Unless it is strictly your goal to want to be absolutely clean, don't ever feel guilty when slipping up. Actually whether you truly want to be clean or not, don't feel guilty either way. I know, easier said than done. The idea of being 'clean' is just some societal moral that does nothing but divide & stigmatize people. If you enjoy drugs and always have, you most likely always will and the temptation will always be there. It's nothing to be ashamed of & it really only makes sense to try for 100% sobriety if the drugs were impacting your life in very negative ways. Other than the obvious addiction, withdrawal stuff, opioids are relatively benign drugs and you can spin this around and be glad you aren't doing a neurotoxin like meth or some other hideous drug. :) I am on bupe myself but not because I want to be clean, but because I wanted access to medicines that allow me to function without having to be a criminal and go through withdrawal whenever I can't score. I crave every single day for heroin and the full agonists tho. I'm just not willing to continue breaking the law & don't have the kind of money to continue a daily heroin habit anyway. People in my lifetime have bugged me about "when will you get off subs and get clean" and I always straight up told them I had no plans on ever being clean from opioids. In fact, if I could do it, I'd love to go live in Switzerland and get access to legal diacetylmorphine daily.

Opioids were once used as psychiatric drugs and there is no doubt that they are good at helping one feel at ease and at peace. I consider them fantastic and essential medications, that shouldn't be demonized and made illegal. Once you have felt how these drugs can stomp out many psychiatric ills, it's hard to ever see a life without them. I have accepted that I believe I need them in order to live a functional and somewhat happy life. So there is no "being clean" for me. Although I am now 5 years off alcohol after having got on bupe. :) And that's one drug I can say I do not crave whatsoever (alcohol I mean). That's an example of a shitty drug that was ruining my life in many negative ways because of how obnoxious, emotional &idiotic it makes people. You couldn't pay me to drink alcohol again lol And I realized eventually that I was an alcoholic for 15-20 years, merely because I used it when I had no opioids or out of pure boredom & peer pressure, but that I didn't enjoy the buzz or the effects from it at all, so it was essentially a pointless substance to continue pursuing.

I've been a heroin / opioid addict for the past 12 years. The last 4-5 were mostly on buprenorphine though, with some vacations here or there.
And I was/have been a poly-drug addict for the past 20 years now. Everything from weed, alcohol & meth to inhalants, psychedelics, over-the-counter drugs & prescription, etc.. So I know all to well this world of addiction.

We all do the best we can and I bet you are doing better than you give yourself credit for. Hang in there. ;) You are human and it is only natural as humans that we would like to experience peace, relaxation and feelings of well being, even if having to take a pill is what's going to get you there. If being 100% clean is your absolute goal, I would recommend making sure to keep up with therapy and of course things like exercise and other ways to get your natural feel good chemicals flowing. Along with many distractions. And never feel ashamed if you slip. You can always clear your slate and start over again. Goals take time. Your priorities and the way you think will change as you age too, I've noticed. It may be hard now but give yourself some time and in a few years you'll know what I mean. I wish you the best of luck in your journey! ;)
 
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DeathIndustrial88 said:
Other than the obvious addiction, withdrawal stuff, opioids are relatively benign drugs and you can spin this around and be glad you aren't doing a neurotoxin like meth or some other hideous drug. :)
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You mentioned neurotoxins there. Besides the subs I have to get off of dexedrine as well. Mentally I am tortured. Any ideas on how to ease it?
 
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