bunch of crap

I brought a doctor's note for missing work yesterday. HR said that I need to miss at least 3 consecutive days before bringing in a note and that the absence will still count against me. So most likely I'll have a day of suspension from work and I'll possibly lose my insurance because of the suspension if I don't have enough vacation to cover it. I'll also be demoted from a lead position.

I'm trying to fix my life but it feels like everyone is against that and I'll never be happy again. It's been hard for me to admit my problems to people and it took a lot to bring that note to HR today. It would be nice if they recognized that I've worked there longer than almost anyone else, including a lot of admin, and that I am good at what I do. Instead I just got a look of pity and told to "have a pleasant day." I don't want pity, I want compassion and maybe a little leeway. I need people to understand and try to help me out a bit. This is so frustrating and it makes me want to give up on work and the human race in general.

Friday was a good day. Rachael and Donavin came and we went to the zoo and just hung out. I spoiled Donavin rotten with toys and ice cream. I haven't hung out with anyone at all since August. It felt good to be around people again for a day. Later though I realized that I don't know when I'll be able to do that again. Oh well, at least I know that I'm still capable of having fun and feeling joy. I just wish it would happen more often.

After my doctor's appointment I went to the the bookstore and spent some of my Christmas gift card. I got a pocket dictionary/thesaurus to help with my crossword puzzles. I also got Girlfriend In A Coma by Douglas Coupland (<3 Coupland), Dreams From My Father by Barack Obama, and a new sudoku book.
 
Don't say you will never be happy again. You know thats not true! You have good self-esteem, thats a start right? keep getting up buddy! Sometimes there isn't a hand up so you have to just try harder, it sucks I know, to pick yourself up. People can suck. Sometimes it just seems like people are just trying to make life harder for you.
Good thing you had a good day right? Thats happy? Never happy again, thats happy, come now.
Sorry if this isn't in depth as it should be or whatever. I'm trying to listen to a lecture in class and get caught up with my BL friends too. :)
 
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