I developed a serious addiction after taking 10mg etizolam a day for just over a year....you are in for a world if hurt if you can't figure out the source of whsts making you so restless (possibly through therapy) benzos are only masking the problem and it souhds like your use is out of control and this coming from someone who was using Etizolam for both insomnia and to help cope with emotional pain....during my taper down I saw a therapist and a cognitive behavioral therapist which did more to help me than all the benzos I've ever taken.
Where you're at now, you absolutely can pull yourself out the benzo hole you've dug but if you continue down this path of reckless (20mg+) you absolutely will spiral out of control to a much worse place than you are now.
I'm telling you all this out if genuine concern for your well-being.
Please be careful and take care ❤
Hi thanks mate.
It's all dead simple though.
Fullest life scrapping Lyme Disease in 2005 sabotaged my immune system, massively damaged my nervous system, made me very allergic to no joke 99% of all ingestibles on earth, foods, herbs, drinks, supplements, medicines, toothpaste!
You name it.
Dozens additional debilitating conditions by themselves including crippling chronic fatigue, respiratory symptoms in the form of abnormal excessive mucus production in reaction to anything I eat or ingest require 24/7 365 aggressive proactive management my life has revolved around clearing my Airways of mucus in order not to Suffocate to death for 17 years already.
The lyme disease and the damage it did to my nervous and immune system made me a sitting duck for covid I have had the Most Extreme cases at least 5 separate contractions probably 6 maybe 7 but definitely 5 since September 2020.
However because of the damaged nervous system everytime the covid has developed into to untypical and very severe form of long covid invading my entire nervous system and brain each time I'm and crashing the house down in a way that no drug binge illness allergy infection injury has ever come close to doing.
I have been having the most insanely difficult time keeping my nervous state in check as a result of such severe Direct physical nerve damage from the multiple long covid sore ready but then just recently after having suffered torturous hemorrhoids also caused by the covid genuinely for about 8 months not being able to sleep at all - a few hours here and there if I'm lucky and suffering pain NH and discomfort causing the Most Extreme PTSD.
About a month ago I was unfortunate to contract to new separate covid infections in the space of 10 days two different variants one is the newer Brazilian one which is more systemic and the original variants which I still had in my nervous system permanently since lates 2020 which has stepped up massively in there.
I received a full firm accurate diagnosis and what had happened as a result of these recent covid infections we have multiple layers to our nervous system and every single level has been completely knocked out of order leaving me on a real knife edge.
It has also so put me into a real state of mental insanity which I have never experienced in my life no amount of LSD or anything ever came close to testing my mental strength and ability to snap back together like malleable Play dough.
Covid is also a mental and psychological illness apparently one in 3 people with covid especially long covid now have severe mental health problems but this has not been recognised because so many t**** out there still ignorant Lee insist it's just a cold or flu.
I have had hundreds and hundreds of different pathogenic infections over the Decades and have battled daily to stay on top of these using remarkably effective alternative measures and natural treatments which have kept me alive with a very good chance of regaining full health.
But the covid infections have come in and completely trashed that plan now it seems for good.
My mind fully went at last, 1st time in 42vyears.
The half gram LSD, 325 grams minimum OG MDMA by 2005, barely wobbled the barrell.
Covid has completely Rex my life if and put me into to a state of absolute mental Dire Straits with PTSD t.i. cannot bear to live with and also dangerously severe nerve sensitisation two surrounding triggers which I cannot escape because I am so debilitated physically since 2005 with allergies and fatty and so much else I have no opportunity to travel or get some space in life.
So I am dealing with extraordinary and unusual medical conditions related to this bio weapon I call covid.
I am praying to the Most Extreme panic and anxiety attacks and simply losing the plot in rage never violence but but very unhealthy for my my extremely delicate nervous system presently and very harmful each time I failed to control myself hence the need to be abusing benzodiazepines as the lesser evil for now.
There is an awful lot more to the picture but but if it was not for this weapon released upon us at this time I genuinely would have recovered about 85% and would have a relatively heavenly existence so that is the bitter pill here but I accept that things just happen without regrets and wishing although it's hard when it's so painful and tough and you are hurting on such the scale emotionally with no support in life because you are too physically debilitated by allergies and infections to actually ever even leave the house.
Long term I'm not actually afraid of my ability to get control of my benzo have it I mean personally giving my conditions and needs if I was just taking 10 mg of of Etizolam every day for the rest of my life if that would be like a cup of coffee in the morning maintenance and probably manageable.
I have hit all out deepest depression ever, nervously exhausted to hell, PSTD like never.
And I am technically insane presently to again the direct effect of these covid infections in my nervous system and the damage they have inflicted and my brain and blood are also absolutely chock-full of Spike proteins as well.
Just rock bottom. My NS has totally crashed down. My will to live abandoned.
Hence the very irresponsible Etiz usage. Being conscious with this type of physical nerve, possibly even some brain invasion and damage is like a bad time on a hundred tabs.
Numerous additional viral and bacterial infections too. Standard long long time since Lyme set the stage.