Dear ________________,
____ 1) It's been fun, but I want to see other people
____ 2) You suck in bed.
____ 3) I want to explore new things and meet new people
____ 4) I've seen Professional Wrestlers more sensitive than you
____ 5) You're a loser
____ 7) You're too sensitive, stop whining already
____ 8) I have to break up with you because I slept with your best friend/ dog/ sister/ neighbor
____ 9) It's not you, it's me. I'm a double agent and have to rescue the President
____ 10) I'm actually not straight / gay, fooled you!
____ 11) We can't have sex because I keep thinking about your mother/father/best friend/ cow/ next door neighbor
____ 12) Your stubborn refusal to not flush the toilet / shave / masturbate / kick helpless animals is just too much
____ 13) I'm prejudiced against _________, so this isn't going to work.
____ 14) You were so awful I'm joining a seminary / practicing celibacy forever
____ 15) I now hate men / women because of you
____ 16) You told my parents we do it like monkeys and they won't let me see you now
____ 17) You're fucking cheap, I don't want much, but c'mon!
____ 18) I have to leave, I pissed off the mob / government / terrorists / rap musicians
____ 19) You're leaving to college / the military / prison, I don't feel like waiting
____ 20) I've been indicted for War Crimes
____ 21) He / She is much better looking than you
____ 22) This sleazy guy /girl convinced me you're a waste of my time and I'm going to hook up with them
____ 23) I've seen fourth graders smarter than your friends, at least the fourth graders can color in the lines and spell college correctly
____ 24) You are from ________, nuff said
____ 25) I love my cat / dog / sex slave more and you're allergic to them
____ 26) I was blind when we started dating but now that my sight is back, eeeeewwww
____ 27) I'm shallow and want a guy / girl with lots of money
____ 28) I would rather make out with an electrical socket
____ 29) You're standing in the way of my dream job: Professional Polar Bear Kick Boxing champion.
____ 2) You suck in bed.
____ 3) I want to explore new things and meet new people
____ 4) I've seen Professional Wrestlers more sensitive than you
____ 5) You're a loser
____ 7) You're too sensitive, stop whining already
____ 8) I have to break up with you because I slept with your best friend/ dog/ sister/ neighbor
____ 9) It's not you, it's me. I'm a double agent and have to rescue the President
____ 10) I'm actually not straight / gay, fooled you!
____ 11) We can't have sex because I keep thinking about your mother/father/best friend/ cow/ next door neighbor
____ 12) Your stubborn refusal to not flush the toilet / shave / masturbate / kick helpless animals is just too much
____ 13) I'm prejudiced against _________, so this isn't going to work.
____ 14) You were so awful I'm joining a seminary / practicing celibacy forever
____ 15) I now hate men / women because of you
____ 16) You told my parents we do it like monkeys and they won't let me see you now
____ 17) You're fucking cheap, I don't want much, but c'mon!
____ 18) I have to leave, I pissed off the mob / government / terrorists / rap musicians
____ 19) You're leaving to college / the military / prison, I don't feel like waiting
____ 20) I've been indicted for War Crimes
____ 21) He / She is much better looking than you
____ 22) This sleazy guy /girl convinced me you're a waste of my time and I'm going to hook up with them
____ 23) I've seen fourth graders smarter than your friends, at least the fourth graders can color in the lines and spell college correctly
____ 24) You are from ________, nuff said
____ 25) I love my cat / dog / sex slave more and you're allergic to them
____ 26) I was blind when we started dating but now that my sight is back, eeeeewwww
____ 27) I'm shallow and want a guy / girl with lots of money
____ 28) I would rather make out with an electrical socket
____ 29) You're standing in the way of my dream job: Professional Polar Bear Kick Boxing champion.
Sincerely,
______________________
______________________