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Breaking 'The Rule' worth it??

Thanks for the explanation! I only experienced a few brainzaps as I attempted to fall asleep about a day after the party, but I then magaged to stay asleep soundly for the rest of the night. The night after that, I only had one small one, but I haven't had any since (I started taking 5-HTP and Omega 3). Touch wood, I haven't experienced any derealization following my usage. I had a few very short instances of it this evening, although I have been very stressed about my ex-girlfriend today, and I know from experience that if I'm very tense or anxious, I can sometimes experience short periods of this anyway.

What I want to now know is this. What does all of this mean? Does this mean I have to stop using MDMA altogether? I find it hard to understand how I'm showing worrying signs after always spacing my usage out to 1 month+ with no other drugs in-between!! I assume this means MDMA is starting to fuck me up......
 
SilentRoller said:
Cheers for the info :) Whilst the high dose of MDMA is a contributing factor to my bad mood at the moment, I am almost certain that my post-MD blues (something that is very unusual for me), has been bought on by the issues surrounding my ex-girlfriend. To give myself the best chance, I have decided that I won't drop this Friday :)
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I've found the "MDMA blues" almost exclusively work like that.. you're not going to think "Damn it I'm so sad because of those pills!", but it's more being focused on the not-so-positive areas of your life much more than usual.


I think that's why some people get the idea of "I NEVER feel bad after an MDMA comedown!", they blame the feelings caused by lowered levels of serotonin on little things in their life that would normally not affect them as much. That's how I see it, at least :)
 
I think your spot on Folley! I find myself focusing on the small negative aspects of my life a lot more following the days of MDMA use. I still laugh and smile during those days and feel happy, its just things get to me more. (you can probably tell I've used recently due to the anxiety in my posting!)

However, I feel worried that despite my efforts to remain responsible to a degree (1 month breaks - although I know 2 MK pills was not responsible!), I'm unsure if I'm starting to show signs of the "MDMA fucking you up for ever syndrome". Surely after 4 uses spaced a month apart I'm not there yet?!?
 
Folley said:
I've found the "MDMA blues" almost exclusively work like that.. you're not going to think "Damn it I'm so sad because of those pills!", but it's more being focused on the not-so-positive areas of your life much more than usual.


I think that's why some people get the idea of "I NEVER feel bad after an MDMA comedown!", they blame the feelings caused by lowered levels of serotonin on little things in their life that would normally not affect them as much. That's how I see it, at least :)
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I never elt negative after usage until after the months when i broke. My next day hangovers always felt like i was in a state of neutral contentment or mild apathy. It was a pleasant calming relaxing sensation. I think thats prob why i thought all was well and abused myself to insanity.
 
SilentRoller said:
Thanks for the explanation! I only experienced a few brainzaps as I attempted to fall asleep about a day after the party, but I then magaged to stay asleep soundly for the rest of the night. The night after that, I only had one small one, but I haven't had any since (I started taking 5-HTP and Omega 3). Touch wood, I haven't experienced any derealization following my usage. I had a few very short instances of it this evening, although I have been very stressed about my ex-girlfriend today, and I know from experience that if I'm very tense or anxious, I can sometimes experience short periods of this anyway.

What I want to now know is this. What does all of this mean? Does this mean I have to stop using MDMA altogether? I find it hard to understand how I'm showing worrying signs after always spacing my usage out to 1 month+ with no other drugs in-between!! I assume this means MDMA is starting to fuck me up......
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Yes it is highly possible. I abused many pills each Friday and Sat for 7 months before the brain zaps happened but when they happened i was screwed for the long term. So based on that experience I would say the brain zaps indicate an urgent need for a long abstinence or damage might ensue.

I guess we all might have different levels of tolerance for abusing the stuff. Im still not sure if it was the long term weekly use that fked me or if it was that last weekend where i bought like 18 pills to give away at a party and ended up eating many of them myself..

I rem seeing little buzzing flies or bugs everywhere like in the corners of the roof and such and then smoked weed and that totally sent me over the edge psychedelically. But two of my friends got into the same state that night but where fine so it must be the combo of long term plus that night.

Those still where the best weekends over 7 months of my life. MDMA + metal rock club = awesomeness
 
First off damn 2 Mortal kombats that around 400+ MDMA !

I've only done it like 20 days in between but never have i done weeks after weeks, id also like to know more about people doing it weeks after weeks how does your body not collapse after so many times?!
 
I was thinking that same thing as cloudio with the 2 MKs. 400mg+ seems like a lot.

Anyways, I've had one occasion where I rolled one weekend and rolled once more exactly 2 weeks after. I noticed a slight deficit in my memory, and I felt hazy for about a week after, but I have to consider the fact that I also smoked weed at the same time, which I personally wouldn't recommend as it kills the roll. I ended up passing out due to the anxiety I get from weed, and now I no longer plan to smoke it anymore, so that may have played a big part in my cloudy headed feeling that I had for about a week.

I wouldn't worry about it too much. Everyone reacts differently, but if something did happen I doubt that it would persist for more than a week. If that risk it worth it then by all means have fun.
 
For some schools of thought, four pills in four months might be a little too tight. Spacing rolls two months apart is a safer option in the long run, especially if you have a vulnerable body chemistry. By the same token, some people have got away with a lot more for a lot longer.

The good news is that you're being self-aware about your use, so if you're a little worried, just reduce your use a little and you should be fine. It seems that most people who have serious problems don't take note of their own behavior until it's too late.
 
Dunno about the dangers of to much in one session , i think more on the dangers of extended sessions.

I used to take in one night as many as i needed to get so high that it stopped working. I got high quality pills at cost for the price of a box of matches each, basically free due to my mate hooking our dealer up with the distributor. I would just shovel them in my face till i broke and would be hallucinating heavily from normal MDMA.

Every night for months i would get so high that would see imaginary people dancing around me and everything in my peripheral vision would morph into weird shapes and non existent people.

The point is that it took 3-4 months of that heavy level of abuse to even begin to damage me. While i know firsthand that MDMA can end your life as you know it, it still takes some real effort on the part of the abuser as well. Most normal users dont take 6-8 pills each night just because they are there in front of you.

Having cheap access was the worst thing for me ever. Most people who pay a fair amount for MDMA shouldn't be able to or would never usually buy enough to break themselves in a night.
 
blight12 said:
The night i had mine when i tried ti sleep when i closed my eyes it was like there where flashing lights in my eyes the whole time like police car lights and as soon as i would drift off to sleep i would get shocked awake violently. It was fucking horrible.

This also can happen with SSRI withdrawals so it doesnt mean you have damaged your brain. In my case i had these zaps followed by 3 days of severe depersonalization/derealization where i had no emotion like a robot and everything felt unreal like being in a dream and living somebody elses life.
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Its a wierd one that, I get really bad sleep paralysis also, mostly after festivals like doing it 4 times in 4 days, or when I go to ibiza like 6 times in 8-9 days, it gets really bad near the end. When I close my eyes I can see almost a movie or event unfolding in the darkness infront of me, kind of cool.

The sleep paralysis is the worst, just as your about to doze of bolt upright like youve just been jolted, or really fucked up scary nightmares, when my eyes are open but my body is asleep and I cant move, and there is a nightmare of things going on around me and im trying to move my body but im unable. Thats when you know youve truly been caning it too much. Scary as fuck though, I had to sleep with the lights on for 2 nights, and even then i was getting horrible night terrors, thinking people directly outside my door and such.

I find brain zaps can be common even with just a low amount of usage, although no where near as much worry as this ^^.

Them kind of weekends are behind me though, doing it friday + saturday for months on end. Usually now its once a month or every few weeks, not because im limiting how much I take them like its controlling me, more of just what im doing. More sitting in the pub, bars etc rather than out clubbing every weekend.
 
Folley said:
This is not true. It might take that long for you to begin to notice the damage, but it has it roots planted LONG before then.
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I agree. I retract that statement. Im trying to offer guidance in light of my own exp but i and others need to rem we are all different and there are other factors at play as well. I wish it was as easy as for me to be able to say A B C etc....
 
Mendo_K said:
Its a wierd one that, I get really bad sleep paralysis also, mostly after festivals like doing it 4 times in 4 days, or when I go to ibiza like 6 times in 8-9 days, it gets really bad near the end. When I close my eyes I can see almost a movie or event unfolding in the darkness infront of me, kind of cool.

The sleep paralysis is the worst, just as your about to doze of bolt upright like youve just been jolted, or really fucked up scary nightmares, when my eyes are open but my body is asleep and I cant move, and there is a nightmare of things going on around me and im trying to move my body but im unable. Thats when you know youve truly been caning it too much. Scary as fuck though, I had to sleep with the lights on for 2 nights, and even then i was getting horrible night terrors, thinking people directly outside my door and such.

I find brain zaps can be common even with just a low amount of usage, although no where near as much worry as this ^^.

Them kind of weekends are behind me though, doing it friday + saturday for months on end. Usually now its once a month or every few weeks, not because im limiting how much I take them like its controlling me, more of just what im doing. More sitting in the pub, bars etc rather than out clubbing every weekend.
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I used to get this all the time when I was going for it bi weekly and doing 4 day festivals too often.....exactly how you describe it here. It was super intense when I was also abusing opiates. I took smallish doses of everything but still had major problems. I get dizzy now but only sleep paralysis/brain zaps maybe once a year, I have cut down a LOT! Feels like the first phase of overdoing it is demotivation and apathy, second bad phase is the dizzies and zaps....
 
I was rolling every weekend for over 3 months straight, using MDMA in combination with meth which only increases the potential damage being done, most neurotoxic combination in terms of serotonergic damage i'd say. Anyway, it wasnt really towards when I decided to stop because of the damage I could be going into, I thought I was fine but it wasnt actually until I stopped and realised the damage was already done. Not long after, inevitably is when the damage started to really show, depressive bouts, anxiety, insomnia, fatigue, however no brains zaps except for once near the end of my recovery.

I should also note that if your are in reality have no reason to be depressed and every reason to love life etc. you wont notice much of a comedown or depressive states the following days, but if in reality you are depressed/suffering from anxiety or in a state where you are depressed you are deffintly going to know about it. Essentially, if your using MDMA to escape from a dark part of your life or have any temporary troubles in your life you will notice them much more, deffintly not the drug to turn to in that state of mind. Then again, MDMA can turn depressive stages of life to be able to see the light (as in psycedelic use to alleviate depression)
 
I've come to the conclusion that I should just stop my MDMA use completely, as I have this horrible fear that I may of damaged myself permanently. Its a shame it had to end like this, as I really tried to be responsible in spacing my usage out.

Here's to hoping I don't end up a depressed vegetable for the rest of my life now!
 
FWIW:

I dosed at 10pm then a big redose at 6-7am the next morning. I spent the next 8 months with terrible anxiety and constant DP/DR. I had only done MDMA 5-7 times spread over 6 years.

Maybe I just got unlucky. Do what you are going to do, I am not trying to prevent you from having fun. I am just saying, not following the rules really fucked me up for a long time.
 
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