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Break Up After 9 years

BellaJewel said:
You are welcome to it, Tubbie! Have all the fun you want with him.
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Thankssss!

BellaJewel said:
Hey Tubbie,
You already know me, right? I mean to say I think you are a recently re-named BLer, yes?
I’m going to have to change my username now, as well.
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Yes, I was Pulverstaden before.

That's a bummer.

I'm gonna go scout
 
G_Chem said:
Alcohol is IMO one of the worst. My mom was an alcoholic and is now an opiate abuser (much more than 60mg oxy a day if she can get it) and I much prefer her on the opiates. Alcoholics are just plain nasty at times, and the worst part is they don’t remember any of it.

-GC
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This is so accurate
 
Karma is a bitch!

My ex-boyfriend is back in town and I’ve received 12 emails from him (in the past 8 days) saying he made a mistake last year and we should meet up (he means hook up, and I should allow him to move into my new place).

I’ve responded to none of these emails and, though I don’t have any special person in my life at the moment, I’m not desperate enough to spend time with him, much less hook up with, and allow him to move in with me.

It’s weird sometimes how things turn out.
 
Fiori di Bella said:
Karma is a bitch!

My ex-boyfriend is back in town and I’ve received 12 emails from him (in the past 8 days) saying he made a mistake last year and we should meet up (he means hook up, and I should allow him to move into my new place).

I’ve responded to none of these texts and, though I don’t any special person in my life at the moment, I’m not desperate enough to spend time with him, much less hook up with, and allow him to move in with me.

It’s weird sometimes how things turn out.
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It's what you feel in your heart that matters. When you think of him, does it give you a good feeling or a feeling of bad anxiety?
 
When I think of him, I don’t feel good, but I don’t really feel anxiety either. I guess the best word to describe my feelings toward him is resentment.

I feel like I wasted the years I spent with him. He had his shit together when we started dating, then his drinking got worse, until it got to the point that he didn’t care about anything, except drinking.

He’s now lost everything, and almost everyone in his life and he’s continuing to drink.

His stepmom finally had enough and kicked him out a few weeks ago. He is now here, without a car or place to live, or a job. He’s burned all of his bridges finally, when it comes to his family, and with the majority of his friends.
 
Fiori di Bella said:
When I think of him, I don’t feel good, but I don’t really feel anxiety either. I guess the best word to describe my feelings toward him is resentment.

I feel like I wasted the years I spent with him. He had his shit together when we started dating, then his drinking got worse, until it got to the point that he didn’t care about anything, except drinking.

He’s now lost everything, and almost everyone in his life and he’s continuing to drink.

His stepmom finally had enough and kicked him out a few weeks ago. He is now here, without a car or place to live, or a job. He’s burned all of his bridges finally, when it comes to his family, and with the majority of his friends.
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I think its safe to say that he's hit rock bottom or very close to it. Its now up to him to change his life for the better. If not, unfortunately he will die at the rate he's going Im sorry to say. Right now, you cant help him. I hate to see people literally destroy themselves in this fashion but he will drag you down if you let him back into your life. The ball's in his court. Its up to him.
 
Fiori di Bella said:
When I think of him, I don’t feel good, but I don’t really feel anxiety either. I guess the best word to describe my feelings toward him is resentment.

I feel like I wasted the years I spent with him. He had his shit together when we started dating, then his drinking got worse, until it got to the point that he didn’t care about anything, except drinking.

He’s now lost everything, and almost everyone in his life and he’s continuing to drink.

His stepmom finally had enough and kicked him out a few weeks ago. He is now here, without a car or place to live, or a job. He’s burned all of his bridges finally, when it comes to his family, and with the majority of his friends.
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Can you get him into something treatment wise? We know from talking privately that he has enough money for private. I usually don’t advocate for an intervention style conduct with people but you’ve got to get him out. Agreeably and somewhere safe is better than having this blow up later. Sometimes people actually do need a full takeover. Even if it is ultimately for your peace of mind. Though that’s up to you how you feel about it.

Fucking lie to him and promise it’ll work out if he goes. If he goes and gets healthy he will probably make the healthy decision to not come back to cause more misery. Meaning he finally leaves you to heal yourself, or slim chance he actually changes and you guys work it out. You still care for him clearly so it’s not as if either is a doomsday scenario.
 
I know this is about your not - quite - ex; but I just wanna say I worry slightly about those chronic headaches you mention.
One, taking pain medication long - term for headaches can actually paradoxically make them WORSE ; and second, you should consider a thorough check-up to make sure the cause isn't something serious.
 
I just have zero desire to help him. I’m not cold, but he never paid rent, and was waking up angry and blaming me for shit that never happened.

I have no desire to help him. I’m just glad he isn’t in my life anymore. I’ll continue to ignore him because I have no desire to get caught up in his shit again.
 
Fiori di Bella said:
I just have zero desire to help him. I’m not cold, but he never paid rent, and was waking up angry and blaming me for shit that never happened.

I have no desire to help him. I’m just glad he isn’t in my life anymore. I’ll continue to ignore him because I have no desire to get caught up in his shit again.
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Sounds like a very good choice. You deserve better than that, and you're not cold at all for not wanting to get pulled back into that rollercoaster.
I hope he pulls himself together though, for his own sake. Alcohol is a nasty mistress.
 
I think I’ll meet that special someone when it is meant to be.

Note that I’m not saying, “Everything happens for a reason”, as I personally don’t believe this, and feel it takes the responsibility out of decisions we make.
I think this is my least favorite saying.

I believe a fair amount of life events happen that are neither the result of reason, nor our behavior. Things happen, and we do have the opportunity to learn from all things that happen to us in life.
 
Fiori di Bella said:
“Everything happens for a reason”, as I personally don’t believe this, and feel it takes the responsibility out of decisions we make.
I think this is my least favorite saying.
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I read something sometime (yesterday lol) that said:

"Your decisions determines your pain"

Not sure what to make of this yet but something in this rings true in my heart fwtiw
<3
 
Okay. That’s actually the best decision. My aim was just to address if you still did have some feeling there. If you don’t, fuck him. Worlds tough for everyone right now. The only person who deserves your full attention is you and the people you want to support.
 
Fiori di Bella said:
When I think of him, I don’t feel good, but I don’t really feel anxiety either. I guess the best word to describe my feelings toward him is resentment.

I feel like I wasted the years I spent with him. He had his shit together when we started dating, then his drinking got worse, until it got to the point that he didn’t care about anything, except drinking.

He’s now lost everything, and almost everyone in his life and he’s continuing to drink.

His stepmom finally had enough and kicked him out a few weeks ago. He is now here, without a car or place to live, or a job. He’s burned all of his bridges finally, when it comes to his family, and with the majority of his friends.
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Sorry you were hurt by somebody displaying insensitivity at the least.

There are lots of scoundrels about who deceive and take without real care.

But no time is wasted. There are no mistakes, just lessons. Regrets are mistakes lol, IMO.

We have the moment, and hopefully a future while we still breathe.

Plain, cold advantage takers. Kick you when you are down and pull you down always.

We don't wish ill or harm on anybody. Including ourselves though. I don't see you being cold here one bit. Just sensible, fair, and well proportioned.

Stick to your guns, follow your heart, and don't feel bad about it.

YOU aren't hurting ANYONE. But those who do hurt, abuse, use, will aim to deceive and spin that illusion and guilt on you if they can.

Don't let them.
 
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