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Boyfriend doesn't come via vaginal sex....help!

yeah regarding the last post, I'd say that the sex is probably the least problem you have in this relationship. it doesn't sound healthy at all..
 
get him to cut out porn for a while and stop wanking. then he will get more and more horny and this will build till sex sorts him out

otherwise get used to this...
 
I don't know how to break this to you kids. If you fall into a relationship and you are still watching porn or masturbating, that is a sign of a "sexual attraction". There's no love there. If there was love their, both parties would naturally just ease out of those old habits.
 
Sarah Daisy said:
I know he uses porn all the time....he doesn't deny it....he has a large dick not thin or short....he says to me that my vagina feels pretty much the same as anal sex....he can't cum doing either!
I very much doubt he would stop the porn for a week let alone 30 days!!
All the stuff he looks at is always women bent over and open asses etc

I think he prefers porn to me....we haven't had sex for 3 weeks now

Fed up

Makes me feel like something wrong with me
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Guys that watch a lot of porn are used to having to concentrate(on what they're watching) to get off. Since it's just simulating real sex, they have to use their imagination more. Sometimes that carries over to real sex and the physical exertion can be distracting, preventing them from being able to concentrate enough to cum. If he won't stop jerking off so much then try laying him on his back so he doesn't have to move and riding him in a consistent up/down motion for awhile and see if that works.
 
Too much wanking can fuck up your sex life.

I rarely jack my dick. I can just call some chick if I need to fuck.

It sucks when you are in a relationship and you can't get off. I was with this one chick and she just could not get me off. Really I felt like she was selfish in bed. She would give such shitty bjs my dick would go limp and I know she can do them great. So I told her she was a shitty fuck and to get the fuck out my house, get off my dick, and stop calling me.

I tried with her but yeah she would be like "oh you are fucking me too hard" and I can't breathe sucking your dick. I hate if a chick tells me my cock is too big to suck and then you see them eat real fast and be like damn she can fit all that in her mouth when she gets some dope but she can't bother to suck a dick.

I dunno but for me a bj before sex is key. There are some chicks that are so sensual it is not needed but probably in the long run it would be. So ask them if he wants something in bed. Maybe he secretley wants you to push his button.
 
Sarah Daisy said:
Yes a whole ago now I did.....but he gets very defensive and responds with "its the way I am and im not changing ....all men watch porn...." or well if your not happy with what i do then let's call it a day
But he gets pissed off if I watch porn or even if I think a guy is nice on tv!!
He accuses me of cheating a lot and is always accusing me of looking at other guys in the street!! I've never cheated and im just walking down the street like everyone else!!
It's ok for him to look at women tho....he does it all the time....I dont say anything tho....its natural up to a point but not nice in front of me!
He's really jealous and trys to control me
He hates my ex husband and always says if he finds out I've spoken to him or been in his house with him he will beat him up!! My youngest child lives with my ex so I have to only see him when ex is out....its really hard
He's a very angry aggressive man....he tells me if he catches me cheating he will kill me and the guy....literally! !
He threatened to snap my neck once because I had a small tattoo done and didn't tell him till afterwards!
He is always ill with something or other every day too and very moody
He is very hard work
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Sounds horrible. He must really have a nice side, like helps old ladies cross the street, puppy-kissing, you know...
 
Could the OP shed some light on the charms that wooed her into this shite relationship?

I know some good women with shitty dudes that beat the shit out of them every night and they try to cry to me like I am gonna help them. They really just want to cheat but anyways I can never get a decent answer out of them.

They say some stupid shit and then ask me if I wanna date them and if they can move in that night and I am like "Did I even invite you here? Go home please before I have to fight this dude."
 
Obviously he was not like that when we met!! He was quite a romantic charmer and looked after me ......very very slowly things started to change....little bit by little bit.....so subtle at first that I thought I was being too sensitive.....until the real him emerged......and im no stupid "chick".....if you are going to passively insult me...I'm off.....this was about my sex life.....I was hoping to try and improve that to see if other things then improved....I've no interest in getting anyone else involved in my relationship
 
I think many people are overreacting when they say he is broke he masturbated for too long on hard porn so he is broke forever. This is mostly bs I say, I have been through phases like that and when you abstain for a couple of weeks its back to normal.

Its the same with sex too why do you think masturbation is not the same ? I have had amazing sex with many women and now I need only the best to enjoy sex , anything substandard puts me off , this comes from both sex and masturbation.

Guys that are all like he watched hard porn now he is broke I mean what the fuck ?! Would you say he has fucked too many hot women and now he wants only the funniest smartest and hottest woman and the hottest sex positions and the perfect sex games ? He cant cum with boring girls he is fucked up !!! NO you wouldnt.

Cmon the guy obviously isnt having the thing he wants otherwise he wouldnt masturbate. For whatever reason you cannot sexually please him. Try to read between the lines guys !!!! its not black and white. If the guy had what he wanted he wouldnt go masturbate to some porn . He obviously stays with you because he likes you as a personality or because he has low self esteem and he doesnt know if he can get better girl or in fact another girl. Maybe both. Sorry but this is the truth. Some guys like it hard and with fantasies thats the way it is , if yo uare not sexually compatible move on but please dont make it sound as dramatic as the guy is broke . He probably has low self esteem to meet new girls so as to find exactly what sexually personality he wants most ( maybe you feel the same too ? ) and stays with you because he genuine likes you as a friend too.

90% of all the boys masturbate AT LEAST one time every couple of days with one per day being the normal and if we have sex some of us also like to masturbate, its different and its can be as nice as sex. Nothing wrong with that. The problem really would be if his dick wouldnt go hard no matter what.... thats when you should start to worry :P But yeah watching porn all the time is boring and a bit low but masturbating I like it and nothing wrong on its own , it feels really good ! No girl can do it as good as we do it and porn satisfies some of our fantasies... if we can have it on bed then even better
 
L33t....I've done everything he's ever suggested.....I'm a woman though not a porn star....I'm attractive...we are about same attractive wise.....I haven't said he is broken....I was looking for help to fix us.....if he wants someone else why does he never go out??
 
Oh and all his porn is anal.....all of it...every time....that stuff where women are bent over with their asses wide open....and anal fisting.....never ordinary pussy sex porn
I'm not in a relationship just to please him alone......real women are not porn stars....the women on porn are being paid to do that stuff....I doubt they do it same at home
World's gone mad....what's wrong with just fun spontaneous ordinary sex!!
 
Ok we get it , its frustrating but c'mon if you really want to see the positive side , you should get it that he likes some hardcore stuff, spice things up ! Take some control and do him some nice stuff. I mean stuff you REALLY like , if you just like the ordinary stuff you do sound a bit boring.... to me. Sometimes you sound that you are too passive in bed too . Trust me if you do something men really like that and they will make sure they pay back. Well if you tried all this and you also talked about it then there is not a lot you can do unless you have studied psychology or psychiatry or you are happy to meet with him someone. You should really move on if you dont enjoy sex , sex IS a big deal and you should really REALLY FUCKING enjoy it ! Dont stay into a situation you don't like.
 
Sigh......as I've said before when I try surprising him....randomly initiating....surprising him dressed up etc....he gets defensive like saying he can't just perform and what if his dick doesn't work properly or accuses me of being sex mad .....both these reactions are a turn off!! And we are not twenty something!!!
A few weeks into our relationship we were kissing once heavily in his kitchen. ....he was hard so I whispered in his ear "show me what you've got" he just went limp straight away and called me sex mad and walked off!!!

He is so sexually insecure he can't be pleased...he's always telling me not to put pressure on him sexually!
I've never had a problem in any relationship before but then I've never had a man before who was afraid of his own dick before!
I think he prefers porn cuz it's easy....nobody else to please but himself.....cuz he's terrified!
 
10-15 minutes is long? That is average, if not less. Not every guy can cum in a minute or two. In fact, most girls would be disappointed if they did .... Reality check time
 
Well maybe I've been with some quick guys then!! But couple minutes and the actual thrusting stuff has always been over lol!! It's him that stops not me asking him to anyway! He doesn't bother to keep going until he comes....he stops and wants me to always finish him off....every bloody time! And I can tell you that women do not orgasm from the thrusting stuff.....so they don't want it to go on forever. ...just long enough for the guy to come.. .and if they seem to orgasm from it...believe me they are faking!! 99% of woman only come from clitoral stimulation
 
Just out of interest then.....if most guys these days take 10 to 15 minutes every time. ....then how do they have a quickie??
 
Sarah Daisy said:
Just out of interest then.....if most guys these days take 10 to 15 minutes every time. ....then how do they have a quickie??
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OP, your fascination with quickies seems to me alike to the one of your beloved (?) one with wide open gaping asses. Can't you live with the fact that your boyfriend does not like them? I think you said that you can't come from vaginal intercourse either, so why bother? Why call it fun/spontaneous/natural and suppose it's the best/preferable way when it does not cut it for the both of you?
I first met my girlfriend 10 years ago. We've been in an off/on relationship since then, and she almost immediately told me that she could not come from vaginal penetration. She did not ask me to 'fix it'. I tried some techniques that are sometimes used in this case. They did not work, or maybe I was not good enough. You know what? She's happy with her situation, and if she is so am I. Sometimes I cum inside of her and finish her in other ways. Sometimes it's 69 or mutual masturbation. Or some other solution.

You said you don't want to fix/discuss/enhance any aspect of your relationship with this guy but sex life, and I won't discuss it.
But the only realistic solution to your problem is to ask for help from a psychotherapist/sexology. I'm talking about couple therapy here. Unless there is a specific problem with one sexual partner, sexual problems are not 'the fault' of one or the other person, but are created by the couple. And if your boyfriend has a specific problem, then a good sexologist will probably guess what it is and investigate it. And the same for you. Maybe it is the porn (I don't think so), but you should not trust anyone here for a real diagnosis. Go see a professional, if the both of you really care. Or split up and go on with your lives.
 
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I don't care that I don't come from vaginal intercourse!! I dont care if i dont come at all!! I still enjoy sex......my partner doesn't not enjoy quickies....he's just not able to do them!
None of it would bother me if he had sex with me as much as he has sex with a screen!
None of it would bother me if he was into our sex as much as porno sex
None of it would bother me if he would talk about it instead of getting defensive
None of it would bother me if I wasn't the only woman he has had sex with
 
First of all, I do not mind if you don't come from vaginal intercourse. I actually think that saying that 'it's ok' is patronizing, and I don't want to sound patronizing. Your sexuality is your own, and not being able to come from vaginal intercourse is perfectly ok. It is much more common for women than for men, but it occurs in both sexes.
I don't think the problem here is quickies, and I don't want to make wild guesses about you, your BF, your relationship or whatever. Still, this sounds more like a relationship issue that a sexual incompatibility. More correctly, both problems are there, and if you're committed and love each other you should give a try at some form of couple therapy. Or, seriously, just move on with your lives, because things won't fix themselves...
 
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