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  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

Bollocks

invegauser said:
two words...

scrotal elephantiasis
NSFW:

300px-Teabagious.JPG
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Heheh, I love the Latin name underneath. It's just a shame it's not 'Teabagious maximus'...
 
apocalypse_when said:
This accident I was telling you about that put me in the hospital.. part of the Rhabdomyolysis and subsequent kidney failure was that i started holding a huge amount of water in my lower body that required IV diuretics and my bollocks swelled up to about 3 times their normal size. I didn't notice at first but when I did, I called the nurse over (you have a nurse per patient in intensive care) and said "hey, come and have a look at this.... me bollocks have swelled up and they're fucking massive!!!"


So she did....



And they were....
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That's a fantastic lil story. Thanks for sharing! I bet Shambles - with his little 'tinkerbells' - is writhing in jealousy over that one. He can only dream about saying that to a nurse.
 
Raasyvibe said:
That's a fantastic lil story. Thanks for sharing! I bet Shambles - with his little 'tinkerbells' - is writhing in jealousy over that one. He can only dream about saying that to a nurse.
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I was actually a bit worried cos they were fucking massive but once the IV furisamide kicked in they went down...
 
apocalypse_when said:
But what if it had been a male nurse?

Meh, a blowjob is a blowjob though... when your stuck in a hospital bed beggars can't be choosers i suppose :)
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Damn my casual sexism! I immediately envisaged a Barbara Windsor type nurse but unfortunately, they're never like that in reality are they? More like Hattie Jacques...


Ooh, what about nurse Gladys Emmanuel from 'Open all hours'? She was a right sauce and had an immense bosom...
 
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F.U.B.A.R. said:
Damn my casual sexism! I immediately envisaged a Barbara Windsor type nurse but unfortunately, they're never like that in reality are they? More like Hattie Jacques...
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Well the one I had in intensive care was a bit of a growler but on a couple of days there was a student nurse as well who was OK. But after my 3 weeks in intensive care I got moved to a normal ward for a week and there was some fit nurses there...but with a tube running down your japs eye, cracking one off to a fit nurse is pretty much out of the question :)
 
apocalypse_when said:
Well the one I had in intensive care was a bit of a growler but on a couple of days there was a student nurse as well who was OK. But after my 3 weeks in intensive care I got moved to a normal ward for a week and there was some fit nurses there...but with a tube running down your japs eye, cracking one off to a fit nurse is pretty much out of the question :)
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Yeh, no doubt in that situation, cracking one off was probably the last thing on your mind.

I remember my first stay in hospital, after a motorcycle accident, being very disappointed at how unsexy nurses uniforms really are - after having been brought up in the 70s on a diet of Carry On films and seaside postcards...
 
F.U.B.A.R. said:
Yeh, no doubt in that situation, cracking one off was probably the last thing on your mind.

I remember my first stay in hospital, after a motorcycle accident, being very disappointed at how unsexy nurses uniforms really are - after having been brought up in the 70s on a diet of Carry On films and seaside postcards...
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I actually went a month without cracking one off or having a single fag. You'd think that would be a perfect time to stop smoking altogether but the first thing i did when I got home was hobble to the Asian gentleman's emporium for 50g of Gold Leaf.
 
apocalypse_when said:
I actually went a month without cracking one off or having a single fag. You'd think that would be a perfect time to stop smoking altogether but the first thing i did when I got home was hobble to the Asian gentleman's emporium for 50g of Gold Leaf.
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And I bet you had a fuckin posh wank while you smoked that first rollie... ;)
 
F.U.B.A.R. said:
And I bet you had a fuckin posh wank while you smoked that first rollie... ;)
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Yup...my balls were like fucking beach balls (and not due to water retention either).

On a side note, we could easily rename this forum the FUBAR and apocalypse_when forum since we seem to be the two cunts posting ;)
 
apocalypse_when said:
Yup...my balls were like fucking beach balls (and not due to water retention either).

On a side note, we could easily rename this forum the FUBAR and apocalypse_when forum since we seem to be the two cunts posting ;)
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True, but 'Bollocks' is still a perfectly apt title don't you think? :)

Or did you mean EADD in general?



Anyways, I'm going to go and chill in front of some yootoob vids while I drink myself into a stupor and possibly knock one out to some BBW milf porn if I can be arsed. Sweet dreams ya cunts!!
 
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F.U.B.A.R. said:
True, but 'Bollocks' is still a perfectly apt title don't you think? :)

Or did you mean EADD in general?



Anyways, I'm going to go and chill in front of some yootoob vids while I drink myself into a stupor and possibly knock one out to some BBW milf porn if I can be arsed. Sweet dreams ya cunts!!
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I meant EADD in general, although we can add LoginNotSecure and possibly Stee but that's it...

I watch YouTube pretty much all day long at the minute....whem youre off work and recovering at home its great for killing the boredom...
 
apocalypse_when said:
On a side note, we could easily rename this forum the FUBAR and apocalypse_when forum since we seem to be the two cunts posting ;)
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I'm just glad you made it to page 2. It was so frustrating having to scroll up and down the page, and then look away when Shambles's bollocks appear. For a moderator he should really make use of the NSFW tags when doing that. Got the job now of trying to repress and remove those images from my mind.
 
LoginNotSecure said:
If watching the pewtube, watch Primitive Technology: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAL3JXZSzSm8AlZyD3nQdBA
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Yeh, I've watched a few of those - they're brilliant.

Raasyvibe said:
I'm just glad you made it to page 2. It was so frustrating having to scroll up and down the page, and then look away when Shambles's bollocks appear. For a moderator he should really make use of the NSFW tags when doing that. Got the job now of trying to repress and remove those images from my mind.
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That which has been seen, can never be unseen! To be fair though, we're only assuming they were Sham's bollocks - they could be anyone's. We need independent verification of this.

Sadie? ;)
 
LoginNotSecure said:
You've clearly saved the image so you can spank your monkey to it, while hitting yourself with the bible. Fooling nobody pal.
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lol


How did you know? Creepy...


F.U.B.A.R. said:
Yeh, I've watched a few of those - they're brilliant.



That which has been seen, can never be unseen! To be fair though, we're only assuming they were Sham's bollocks - they could be anyone's. We need independent verification of this.

Sadie? ;)
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If he was going to upload someone else's, he wouldn't pick such a scrawny little pair ;)
 
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