Blunt Force Trauma

[thujone]

stars burst, and there's
the sound of a phone ringing
somewhere far away.
I can almost--no.

it's all in my head
placed by the crimson fist
emerging from the silhouette;
the fear standing over me.

where did she go?
i can't bring it back.
time to snub the fear;
maybe watch one more star ignite

 

[New]

I like this a lot. Your descriptive language is spot on. I've been whacked in the head enough times to identify.

 

[Corazon]

nice

thought it had a clean style but was still complex

 

[thujone]

Hey New, good to see you're still running the show around here. Thanks for critiques! i haven't written in a while, trying to get back in the swing of things.