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Bluelight Singles thread "Living without justification" Part 2

ROFL jimbu!

Shnouzer: I dont think you overstepped the mark too far, but its definately treading on the line. It can make situations uncomfortable for the couple. Ah well, you best hope that the boyfriend isnt 6'2 and some uber martial arts dude when you run into him in a dark alley... ;).

Just kidding dude, I think the backing off reply you sent was fair.

Oh yeah, on topic... single. :P
 
^^ yeah that's what I am feeling bastardy about.

I wanted to send a flirtatious email, not be the reason for an ugly fight. The message was meant to elicit a smile not a brutal screaming match.

Ah well - shit happens. Who would have thought he knew her email password?

Haha I love how life keeps things interesting.
 
insecure little boys. they all think their partners are things they own. possessions.

back on topic...

how long do two people have to be seeing each other before they deem they are in a "relationship"?

(relationship, i.e., no longer single)
 
biggerbear: I don't think it is a matter of time, it's a matter of how the pair define their relationship. You can be seeing someone for a year and still not be in a 'relationship' in its exclusive sense as it could be agreed that its a casual thing... i.e. both can see other people.

It becomes a relationship when you define it as one.

And Shnouzer, bro you did the right thing on all accounts! Played it nicely. Guys can get pretty defensive but that may work in your favour.
Her: "I was just TALKING to him, nothing more!" *thinking - does he think he owns me or something* etc etc

The dude seems kinda insecure. I have a mate whos in a relationship and it sickens me to be round him and his gf, they're so fucking lovey dovey and gay it makes me want to explode. His gf was saying some stupid shit and i was playfully payin her out and she was half jokingly like "baby, Adikkal and ___ (my other mate) are making fun of me" and he comes and PUSHES us. *Sigh*

Damn couples - Note to those lovey dovey baby sweety honey snugglepie and any other sugar coated sickeningly sweet pet names you have for each other, knock yourself out with it all you want when you're in private, but for fucks sake have some respect for your friends who really don't wanna hear that shit!

/rant

Adikkal
 
^^ Oh my god I could not agree with you MORE!!! I DETEST all that shit, and though to a certain level I guess when I'm in a relationship I am like that, I am conscious of how abhorrent I find it when I'm not - and try and modify my behaviour in public.

There is nothing more nauseating than lovey-dovey couples that you like to hang out with, and then when you're actaully socialising with them, you feel like you're "in the way" of their gross out love making. :X

My friends who are in couples that I love hanging out with are those that don't have to be hanging off each other every moment they're together, they can do things with their friends seperately, and don't need to be talking or touching each other every second...
 
^^ When people change into Couple-Mode it is horrific.

The two longest lasting and healthiest relationships I have known have been with two of my friends who do not change a THING around their girlfriend.
They act exactly the same. No holding hands, no public displays of open mouth kissing. Just good mates. They can go home seperately and it is no drama's. They can spend most of the night away from each other if that is how it pans out and there is no fighting.

It is fantastic. If they come somewhere with their girl its all great because everyone there gets along comfortably like a big group of friends.

I have another couple of friends who are the ultimate in relationship Changelings. One of them was constantly fussing over this girl with pet names and "baby I can do that for you..".
When my friend was with this girl he wasnt the guy I had known for 10+ years, his personality was significantly skewed in an attempt to be a better boyfriend for this girl.

To me that just looked shallow and exhausting.

And I fucking hate being briefed before seeing someones girlfriend about topics I "shouldn't bring up" because she might get angry. Might.

Fuck that.

So yeah. Totally agree Adikkal. Lovey dovey snuggley couples are great if they keep it away from everyone else.


So I guess the best relationships I have ever seen involve couples who just treat each other honestly like really good friends out in public and get along fantastic - as a team - wherever they go.

The worst involve couples who, after been spoonfed a diet of Dawson's Creek and the like, are putting on a personality mask and trying to imitate a Hollywood scriptwriter's idea of a teenage relationship.
 
Shnouzerpuff said:
The worst involve couples who, after been spoonfed a diet of Dawson's Creek and the like, are putting on a personality mask and trying to imitate a Hollywood scriptwriter's idea of a teenage relationship.
Click to expand...

I absolutely love this shnouzer!! Pure gold. It's creating the appearance of the relationship rather than just being.
16.gif
Gold start for insightfulness
 
^^ no you're shmoopy!! ;)

I think the briefing can be important about certain things though. Ie not everyone is cool with recreational use of chems. But i do feel your pain otherwise.

In relationships i've tried to be as respectful as possible to my friends there (esp the single ones) and have been nnicely restrained as that coupley factor can be just hideous.
 
Shnouzer thats exactly it, i have a close friend who is also in a ltr and when her and her bf are together its mad chill. They are like friends and i don't feel uncomfortable being round them, these are the relationships that will last. The lovey dovey shit has to end sometime and it just seems hell immature if you ask me, but hey, maybe i'm just jaded. Even so, i would always keep myself in check so i don't become one of the couples i describe.

"When my friend was with this girl he wasnt the guy I had known for 10+ years, his personality was significantly skewed in an attempt to be a better boyfriend for this girl"


That line is so fucking true. It's weird man, when i'm around my mate and his gf i'm left thinking "who is this guy?" seriously it freaks me out. It makes me think that they give up part of themself to be with the girl and i'm worried that she'll eventually lose interest, theyll break up and he'll be crushed. Live and learn i guess :/

Adikkal
 
Adikkal said:
Shnouzer thats exactly it, i have a close friend who is also in a ltr and when her and her bf are together its mad chill. They are like friends and i don't feel uncomfortable being round them, these are the relationships that will last. The lovey dovey shit has to end sometime and it just seems hell immature if you ask me, but hey, maybe i'm just jaded. Even so, i would always keep myself in check so i don't become one of the couples i describe.

Adikkal
Click to expand...

I think you just totally hit the nail on the head with that call, that's pretty much the best observation(?) I've ever heard on this issue.


:D
 
Well I have a date tonight (its not really a date but im going to keep calling it that cause it makes me feel better) and im going to see Lola at the Annandale Saturday night.

Slowly feeling better about my singleness. I think I'm strong enough to do things on my own again and finally i've stopped dwelling on the past and feel excitied about my future. It's so strange how you become reliant on one person so much.
 
I know what you mean smart-e. As much as you prep yourself before each relationship with the self talk 'ok im gonna be strong and independent and not rely and be my own self blah blah blah' you inevitably slip into a pattern again. I have seen myself do it but christ i have learnt from it and will pick up on it next time. its all a learning curve
 
I'm going to go against the grain and say I don't really mind when I see my friends being all cute and lovey dovey. In fact, rather than being the bitter and cynical fucker I normally am it makes me smile to know they're happy. That being said, if they start doing that baby-talk bullshit they can expect a slap across the face or a beer across their laps.
 
^^ You are just blind to it all yarns now that you are one of "them".

Filthy relationshippers.

That being said I am taking a gorgeous girl to see TISM on Sat night. It will be the ultimate test to see if she is cool and laid back, or an uptight harpie wench.

If a chick can sit back and laugh along while 5 masked guys on stage are singing "I'm a Cunt" then she has to be okay in my book.
 
Hahahah, "i might be a cunt i'm not a fucking cunt"

Well i'm perfeclty content with being single. Shit's going well lately. I've got 3 numbers in the past 3 days and met a bunch of new women. The attitude is on point and i'm feeling content and happy. Until i meet the right girl i'm not looking for a relationship by any means. Gonna have to be a pretty dope chick to hook me into a relationship! Whoever she may be and whenever she may come, at least i know she'll be worth it. I'm not afraid of commitment, but will only commit with someone i REALLY want to be with.

Adikkal
 
:p @ Shnouzer. I am not one of 'them!' Well, not the typical 'them'. [aawww man I hate being one of them.]

I hate the social stigma of being in a relationship. It sounds like a ridiculous thing to say because according to Sex and the City or any glossy magazine it seems like the other way around but I find that single people think those in a relationship are:

a) boring and set in their ways ie don't go out and have fun like they used to
b) couldn't possibly understand the trials and tribulations of the single world
c) compromise themselves to become someone else's better half

In my eyes it's the single people who are part of this elite group who are free and fun and loving life. Trust me when I say I would rather be single [at the moment] but this stupid boy keeps me holding on with his cheeky grin and semblance of charm.

I think the best things about being single are the possibilities. Nothing is set in stone and the nights are full of opportunity.

Meh grass is greener etc etc etc
 
Met a nice guy through work a few months back.

Even tho hes nice and goes out of his way to make me happy there is no spark :(

Can it be possible to grow to like someone the way they like you?
 
But on the flip side Yarn nothing is set in stone for you either and your nights are full of possibilities too. It is always what you make of it.

Im the same as Addikal...it would have to take a pretty special person to get me to commit.
 
The only possiblity my nights are filled with is the possiblity of an argument. ;) Nah I'm kidding. I'm happy.

PS Am I allowed to set you up? I have a 100% success rate with people I set up and this guy is pretty awesome... ;)
 
Met a nice guy through work a few months back.Even tho hes nice and goes out of his way to make me happy there is no spark

Can it be possible to grow to like someone the way they like you?
Click to expand...

In my opinion yes and no...

But in this case, if you think there's no spark now...then I wouldn't think so....I think you can if sometimes you aregood friends with someone and then one day it hits you like a semitrailer that the "spark" you had thought was just you guys getting on well, is actually more...


If someone likes you and you have already explored whether you have amorous feelings for this person, and there's no spark...this is what I call my content v. happy syndrome. [highly respected psychological theory :p] in which you could quite contentedly date them...whatever...but it will never make you truly happy.

That's my thoughts on the subject anyway...
 
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