A hell of alot of attracting members of the opposite sex comes down to your attitude. Your attitude towards life creates the framework for how you act in the world. When you adopt a negative attitude towards yourself e.g. "good things never happen to me, i'm never going to find someone, i can't do this, i'm not good enough for them etc..." you create a self fulfilling prophesy.
If this sounds anything like the way you talk to yourself (your internal dialogue) STOP right now and imagine a time in your future when you approach life with confidence, playfulness and positivity. As you succeed in what you want to achieve you will realise that it all stems from having the right type of attitude. However being negative does have a certain comfort to it as by expecting the worst, you find yourself being right alot of the time - when you expect failure and achieve this failure, you get a nice sense of being right.
"I knew this would happen, nothing good ever happens to me...."
*repeat cycle of negative reinforcement*
This is what i mean by a self-fulfilling prophesy.
There is reason behind this.
To use an example: if you are a guy afraid of approaching women you may rehearse a variety of negative scenarios in which she rejects you and cuts you down. When the situation arises to approach a woman your mind calls on its internal representation of such a situation and lo and behold, its filled with NEGATIVE IMAGES. Do yourself a favour and start imagining yourself suceeding, not failing. Imagining something is the next closest thing to actually experiencing it
By filling your mind with images/sounds/feelings of success your attitude will begin to radiate with it. This leads to confidence - an amazing thing. Believing you can achieve something helps you astronomically in achieving it. I guess what i'm saying here is that for those feeling at all dejected with single life or failings in love is that adopting the right type of attitude will improve you as a person.
The way we perceive the world is NOT the way the world really is. Our perception is a MAP not the TERRITORY. If you don't like where you are going, perhaps you need a new map.
Adikkal
(On the self-help tangent)
