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Bluelight Singles thread "Living without justification" Part 2

Miss slingshot you rock! Your one of the best women i know. You have your own style and you have confidence, your totally gorgeous and fun and any guy would be lucky to have you even look at them =D
 
Tactics vs Being Yourself

Ahh, at the mere mention of the word 'tactics' or 'strategy' in the realm of relationships people tend to instinctively react in a negative way. The thing is, we all use tactics unconsciously anyway. Our behaviour is learned and we will act in ways to try and achieve our goal, whether that be consciously or unconsciously.

Theres a common misconception that 'game playing' means not being yourself which i find to be bullshit. Firstly, 'yourself' is NOT a stagnant and unchanging entity - as a person you will change with experience. New experience might bring new ways of thinking, a shifted approach and even a more enjoyable life. Secondly, life is a game. In the context of relationships/dating, certain attitudes and approaches are bound to work better than others. If someone was to consciously consider what works and what doesn't and then apply these, where is the harm in that?
Think of it in terms of baseball... A coach might instruct a player to improve his swing to improve his success rate. He'll hit the ball more if he changes his stance. Does the baseball player say "sorry coach, i know my swing aint really working but i'm sure that the right ball will come along sometime. It's just the way i am" ?

No, he takes into account what is likely to help his game and at least gives it a go. I mean if he's having no success in the past then what does he have to lose by changing something?

Adikkal
 
^ Whats does he have to lose? That special something that makes him unique from everyone else who is playing the same game.

To carry on your analogy [ooohhh how I love analogies] if the guy carries on with his own particular style of play he may miss all but one of the balls and yet he's able to hit that ball out of the stadium. If he adjusts his style he may make more contacts but no big hits.

:| Yeah I probably shouldn't have carried on with that analogy.
 
Thank you Doofqueen, you've completely made my day! :) No more feeling frustrated and shitty, I'll now be the proud owner of a stupid Ronald McDonald perma grin all day!! =D

Doofqueen, while more and more people have noticed your physical spunkiness of late, the beauty you have as a person pales in comparison. Never nieve, your refusal to become jaded with life, overflows to those that surround you. You rock SO many peoples worlds, and you don't even know it! Spunky NSW/ Newcastle boys (nice, yet mischievously cheeky boys), arrange for your fine selves and Doofqueen to cross paths sometime soon, this girl really is one of the very special few.
 
Up All Night - you make a good point, however

Seeing as the analogy worked both those times, i will continue it even further!

If the guy is waiting for that right ball and never making contact, he will lose confidence and might even get cut from the team, relegated to the bench. Such an event is hard on the ego and if the guy isn't even on the field, it's going to be hard to have any success...
Put simply, he'll become the 'batboy'.

Ohh how i love this analogy :)

Adikkal
 
But you're assuming that the ball he is most suited to likes being thrown around. Maybe the ball he is made for is rather mis-shapen and got thrown in the pits in disgust. If that was the case, he would only find the ball once he had been made the 'batboy' and if he had made changes to his style and avoided being cut from the team he would never have come into contact with his perfect ball.

I think location and timing has much more to do with finding your perfect person than game playing.
 
Ohh touche.

You're right though, location and timing are more important than game playing for finding the 'perfect person'. But the thing is, location and timing are pretty much out of my control - i don't know when or where i will run into this perfect person so basically its more a matter of chance and coincidence. It's something that will probably happen someday but in the mean time i am going to take control of the things i can take control of, get out there and try and score some base hits!

The bench is a lonely and boring place.

<all this baseball talk has got me missing my baseball playing youth - Castle Hill Knight represent!>

Adikkal
 
haha How can you be lonely when there are so many god damn people on the bench? The people on the bench are the only ones who can sneak off mid-game for some nookie under the bleachers. I guess everyone on the bench is too intent on watching the game and... okay I really need to learn to stop continuing stories after they've died.

Anyways, this is my 2000th post and I thought what better place to post than in the singles thread; my second home. All the more appropriate because this is the last day of me having internet access from home so I won't be able to post any more inane shit in here when I'm avoiding uni work. ;)

*BL singles breathe a collective sigh of relief*
 
Last night i wrote something and this morning (for me afternoon for most) i thought i should add something especially since reading over Adikkal and up all nights little debate.

Anyway i wanted to add by appreciating and accepting I meant being able to see your own, lets call them "weakness", and accepting that that their a part of you, but also realising that as they were once created in you (through parents, peers...society) you also have the ability to change them… its fucking hard to do but worth while in the end I think. Its very important not to go "This is who I am, take it or leave it, cos I aint changing buddy." That sounds like a person who can see their "weaknesses" but in turn is bitter about them. In a way it’s a very natural defence mechanism so as to not spiral into depression.

I understand where Addikal is coming from in that it is *extremely* difficult to function in a way that is true to yourself when our society doesn't function in the same way... but hey, one step at a time, a couple back, few more forward...and eventually...
 
Speed dating

No I don't mean snorting a line or two of speed and then going out and trying to pickup.

Fast Impressions

From what I read and seen it seams too tacky for my personal liking. But has anyone else been and tried speed dating first hand which could give their own personal option as to weather it's worth trying beyond the fun factor ?
 
GAMES BITE.


there is no point playing any sort of game...

if i want to be attracted to someone, i will be attracted to them, not any sort of game...

i'm the sort of person who is attracted to someone straight away.. i wont know someone for a while, then turn around and say "oh my, i really like them".

so if someone is playing some sorta silly game, i really cant be assed with it...


girls who play hard to get, end up playing by themselves, cause i dont chase... :)
 
Re: Speed dating

slientbob said:
But has anyone else been and tried speed dating first hand which could give their own personal option as to weather it's worth trying beyond the fun factor ?
Click to expand...


I'll do it.


Seriously, someone find the details, let me know so i can get the shift off. and i will do it. We should even start a thread in the events. Bob - u the man. start now.

btw, i am really serious. I want to find out what its all about. I think the study of human interaction is amazing.
 
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