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Bluelight Singles thread "Living without justification" Part 2

I think it will be a long time before i have a relationship. I refuse to give anyone the time of day who doesn't reach my standards anymore.... too many times have i dated the wrong guys. Besides, i dont even know which way i swing anymore. :(
 
Chik. I was feeling the same way you are a few years ago - had a messy breakup, thought that I would never meet someone who was good enough... then i met a girl who completely changed my life. Granted, the bitch cheated on me, but she showed me that no matter what you think you are, you will always surprise yourself...
 
littleone said:
i dont think thats very fair. there are always going to be other people with worse off situations. it doesnt mean that our feelings are any less real.
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i wasn't actually referring to you when i made my post. in fact i don't think i even read your post b4 making mine. i've just noticed over the last year or so that quite a number of people have come in this thread and posted something along the lines of... "oh it's so bad, i've haven't had a bf/gf in over 2 months. this is the longest i've been single in 10 years, it's driving me nuts etc", or "i feel like shit, i'm so depressed, my relationship of a week has ended. we went to the movies twice and fucked a few times and now i've lost the will to live."

my post was just a random thought. now, i'm not saying that people cannot form strong bonds or become extremely attached to others in a relationship that only lasts a few weeks, even a few days, but some of the lame posts in this thread would make one believe the poster has just had a bridges of madison county moment.
 
^ =D Best post I've read in here in ages.

*reminisces about Bridges of madison county*

I'm happy for all the happy single people. Lets have a power to the people style conferance where we can denounce the opposite sex and then try and fuck them after.
 
hell, being singles all fun and games until some punk chick (no pun intended) comes along and decides she'll buck the trend and do things you like.. honestly.. why is it when you least expect it you meet the good ones? dont women understand that if they talk to you, are funny, even 1/10th attractive and do even one thing that could be considered as treating you nice they can cause al sorts of problems INCLUDING making the guy actually like them??

ladies, please on behalf of all the fun loving single guys.. dont do it.. let them get drunk with their mates.. think of all the poor barowners you'll force below the poverty line
 
^ Bahahahah nice one upallnight.

Yeah people who sook over not much more than a one night stand deserve to be miserable all the time. People who get themselves into long term relationships deserve to be miserable at the end.

All the single people out there should just be happy that they're free from all ties and can do whatever they please. But they should also make a register of people for rainy weather romantic snuggle days, just so they dont feel left out.

Yeah sex during storms rules! :D
 
Munchee said:
People who get themselves into long term relationships deserve to be miserable at the end.
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i don't think deserve is fair or correct. more like "should expect". even life long partners are going to be seperated at death, unless they both die at the same time due to a freak gasoline fight accident ;)
 
Well, life is always filled with complications, this is what makes it interesting. For the first time in a rather long time i have actually considered a long term relationship with a certain girl. It feels like we've known each other for alot longer than we have. She is one of the few people i've met who i can hold an in depth discussion with for a considerable amount of time.

You know when you feel like you don't have to TRY to make conversation at all? You can talk for hours and it still feels like there's so much more to talk about? Well this is what it's like.

Sounds great huh?

Well, as always theres a catch. She has a boyfriend. Albeit one of only a month or so. Something else interesting? If i hadn't have acted so nonchalantly she probably wouldnt have been with him in the 1st place.
At the time my mind was focused on another girly and the inconsequential mind games which took place.

At that time, the thought of a LTR didn't even cross my mind, now it has. Hmmmm

It's a possibility.

Either way, i ain't to worried. If it happens it happens. If not, plenty of other chicks around.

Adikkal
 
Adikkal said:
She is one of the few people i've met who i can hold an in depth discussion with for a considerable amount of time...

...Either way, i ain't to worried. If it happens it happens. If not, plenty of other chicks around.

Adikkal
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you confuse me sometimes adikkal. i mean sure there are plenty of other girls around, but how many have you met where what you said applies? i'm not suggesting breaking up their relationship or anything. but who knows, they've only been together a month, don't intrude but certainly i'd say stay in the picture.
 
yeah id say the saints got a point on that one. and im thinking someone as radikal as you wont normally have troubles with the ladies right? but yeah hanging around never hurts.. unless you have soft hands then all the friction can hurt until you develop calouses
 
no addikal, i think it's still early enough into their relationship for you to let her know how you feel. it'll put her in a dodgy place, and if she leaves him for you then you'll feel like shite, but if she reciprocates what you feel i think it's definately worth all that.
 
i suggest that addikal breaks up the relationship :)

perhaps i'm just totally compassionless, but i don't give a fuck. if there's a feeling there, it's there. addikal wouldn't be the one making the decision, so if she cheats on her boyfriend or breaks up with him, why should it be his fault?

these are my thoughts :)
 
Cheers guys, trust me, i got it locked down. I know what i gotta do and that is stay in her mind. So far this is what i have been doing. I'm quite sure that i can get into a relationship with her as i KNOW that she ain't feeling her boyfriend that much.

We had a big talk the other nite at the pub, first time i'd seen her in a while (her bf was there too, off somewhere else) and by the way she responded when i asked how things were with him i knew she wasn't that into it. I sensed regret on her part that she was with him and not me. Essentially, i know she's interested, i let her know I was too.

The reason i said i'm not fussed either way is because i've become used to keeping my emotions to myself and am enjoying being single. I am not looking for a relationship at all and this is why this sorta made me stop and think.... the possibility means a lifestyle change.

Until i know for sure it will happen i'm not going to get too attached to the idea.

I've become quite good at controlling emotions.

Adikkal
 
Originally posted by onetwothreefour
i suggest that addikal breaks up the relationship :)

perhaps i'm just totally compassionless, but i don't give a fuck. if there's a feeling there, it's there. addikal wouldn't be the one making the decision, so if she cheats on her boyfriend or breaks up with him, why should it be his fault?

these are my thoughts :)
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all couples go through rough times, and if another interested guy knows this and takes advantage, that's fucked in my opinion. you wouldn't be saying that if it happened to you 1234.

but adikkal's situation is no big deal, they're not that into each other and the relationship is young and almost non existent. so just be a friend adikkal. i don't think you should be feeling bad if she leaves him for you at this point. if they'd been together for a while though and you intervened in tough times and you knew they were having difficulties then you should feel very bad about doing such a thing.
 
Chik. said:
I think it will be a long time before i have a relationship. I refuse to give anyone the time of day who doesn't reach my standards anymore.... too many times have i dated the wrong guys. Besides, i dont even know which way i swing anymore. :(
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^^^I feel EXACTLY the same. Besides the swinging thing. At the place I am, guys don't really affect me at all right now. It's horrible, I feel like I've lost the ability to feel about guys. I had a really bad run for a while and now I don't even let guys in, so of course they don't hurt me. I hope I get over it soon, it's not a great way to live. :(
 
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Originally posted by silvia saint
all couples go through rough times, and if another interested guy knows this and takes advantage, that's fucked in my opinion. you wouldn't be saying that if it happened to you 1234.


i totally understand you getting upset about this. like, if i stole someone's girlfriend i would imagine the boyfriend would be pissed and probably want to hunt me down. but i honestly just don't think that anyone should ever take responsibility for anyone else's decisions. if someone chooses to cheat, i take it that they have the brains to realise the decision they're making, and it's their choice. i don't endorse cheating, and hope that i would never do it, but i can understand why it happens, and i don't consider somebody else's choice to be my responsibility.

one final point, regarding 'you wouldn't be saying that if it happened to you' - it has happened to me.
 
it's not as easy as 123

yeah i've been the cheater and the cheatee and the other woman...

so i guess that covers the whole perspective.

and though i realise that i'd be cutties if someone stole my b/f, from a psychological viewpoint i know i would [have to] eventually accept the fact that cheating happens for a reason - if i was in a relationship that was dying and i met someone that was just right for me - im fairly sure that i wouldn't let my current boyfriend stop me - and i would extend the same honour to them....begrudginly albeit :p;)

yes - i think if your r/ship is dying you should break it off - but sometimes you don't get the chance to do that before you meet someone else...it has quite literally happened to me before...it sucks but it's life i guess :\
 
I will not actively TRY and break up a relationship. What i do is simply be my usual flirty self and if things begin to move along then so be it. I won't really chase but sometimes i've gotten every possible signal of interest from a girl with a bf... what are you supposed to think? If it gets to a level where you can sense lines are going to be crossed than it's necessary to really consider what you are doing.

How long have they been together? Is she not into him anymore or is it just a phase? THINK before you do anything you'd regret.

Sometimes people stay in failing relationships because they don't have the guts to end it, so don't ALWAYS assume that just because someone has a significant other they are completely unattainable. Use your best judgement but remember, empathy.

Adikkal
 
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