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Bluelight Singles thread "Living without justification" Part 2

smart-e said:
I hate that my past has made me bitter and jadded and even if someone nice came along I would probably push them away and not believe that they were genuine.
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Sadly,this is exactly how I currently feel.Sorry to hear smart-e you are feeling the same.


Here's the latest girl, I met that I was interested in, and what happened:-


At one of the local pubs I visit,there is this bargirl who's pretty and friendly.

I'D CHATTED & KNOWN HER FOR ABOUT A MONTH!!!!!!!

She came across as extra friendly towards me,compared to others she served.For examples: When I was sitting down,away from the bar she would smile at me when I'd look over.I'd ask her how her day was and she would reply "even better NOW" with a huge smile on her face towards me,we would friendly chat and EXCHANGED NAMES,etc,etc,etc..................

Anyway,I was at this pub yesterday and she was working.We had a brief chat and I ordered a few drinks.

After a few(and still VERY sober),I went to get another drink.She said "The same?" and I said "yes and your phone number?".She seemed a bit surprised or something and there was a silence.So,I said "Do you already have a boyfriend?".She said "Yes,I've got a boyfriend somewhere".This then took me by surprise - I thought to myself: Either she has a boyfriend? or she doesn't? What's with the game playing type answer? :X

I really really HATE game playing and wasn't going to play any of this crap .So,to save face,I said "Lucky guy" and then went and had my drink and left.

Personally,I asked if she had a boyfriend or NOT for a few reasons:-

*From my experience I've got girls numbers.Called them and then after I've been strung along they tell me they already have a boyfriend. I didn't want this to happen again and I didn't want to waste my time.

*So the girl directly knows what I want.

*So,they don't only see me as only a friend.

To me she either really has a boyfriend and was truthful,or was vague because she's single and just NOT interested in me :( .

Thoughts of the above please people???

Finally,I'm sick of this single crap and the bullshit game playing that seems involved.
 
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Yeah I agree...Bar girls and boys are kind of paid to be friendly after all they work from tips....If they arn't nice then they don't get money.
 
Thanks for the replies ;)

Good points except she gets paid a wage and NOT tips.Also,a few times I'd see guys being friendly towards her,but she would NOT say much.She seemed to open up more towards me. Oh well :(
 
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Wacky:

A girl behind a bar whos name you don't even know owes you nothing. She doesn't owe you the truth, she doesn't even owe you the time of day. She can spin lies to you or whatever she wants and it's really no big deal. Because in the end you're just one of a hundred or so guys every night that tries to pick her up.

People only owe it to you to "not play games" with you when you have some kind of fuller relationship, emotional connection or otherwise in place. In random encounters like this anything goes and no one should feel hurt. Hurt only really comes when our emotional psyche we've invested in someone or our dignity is bruised... and you'd known this girl for all of 5 minutes so really that shouldn't have happened right?

Secondly, the dating game IS a game (hence the name). The earlier on in the piece the more of a game it is. Chances are if someone isn't interested in you they are going to say they have a boyfriend or whatever, they're not really playing you for a fool or being malicious... they're just trying to diffuse a situation in the least confronting and hurtful way possible.

Thirdly, you're over-analysing this stuff waaaay too much. In any situation in this thread where you state a question you typically ask girls you're interested in, and then do a breakdown of all the possible meanings of the answers they have given in bullet point form... you're pretty much assured that you're thinking and pulling it apart a little too obsessively. I mean getting to the point where you try and decipher the motives to her friendliness based on the way she's remunerated/how she gets paid is completely pointless and going down the garden path.

Perhaps a better way to look at it is to not really care what they mean by their answers, because all that matters to you in the end is that they're not interested. And if they're not interested you should consider it their loss or something, put it behind you and move onto the next. Picking apart such meaningless random encounters is not going to result in these chicks liking you any more or less, all it's going to do is result in a wasteful expenditure of your own mental and emotional energy.
 
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smart-e said:
Yeah I agree...Bar girls and boys are kind of paid to be friendly after all they work from tips....If they arn't nice then they don't get money.
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i dunno...ive picked a a bargirl or two in the past when i thought they were 'overly' friendly :)
 
I care ;) and it shows that it can happen with bargirls :D .

Mind you this was the first bargirl I've had any interest in.How about next I try young nurses in a hospital,when visiting a sick friend,he,he,he,he,he........................ :D
 
I started working in a bar in collingwood couple weeks ago to help my friend out who is the manager there over busy xmas and new years period. In the 6 shifts i've worked there I've picked up 5 phone numbers. I only wanted 2 of them and I got them by giving the odd glance and smile to the customer whilst they weren't at the bar. The other numbers I just accepted so they would leave me alone to work. As some have mentioned you do have to be careful with bar staff, a lot of the time we can just be looking for tips. The nicer you are behind the bar the bigger the tips. But I reckon if your getting glances and smiles while your not at the bar being served then there is probably something there. The niceness for tips really only occurs at point of service. Well thats how i operate anyway.



Beech out
 
beech said:
I started working in a bar in collingwood couple weeks ago to help my friend out who is the manager there over busy xmas and new years period. In the 6 shifts i've worked there I've picked up 5 phone numbers. I only wanted 2 of them and I got them by giving the odd glance and smile to the customer whilst they weren't at the bar. The other numbers I just accepted so they would leave me alone to work. As some have mentioned you do have to be careful with bar staff, a lot of the time we can just be looking for tips. The nicer you are behind the bar the bigger the tips. But I reckon if your getting glances and smiles while your not at the bar being served then there is probably something there. The niceness for tips really only occurs at point of service. Well thats how i operate anyway.



Beech out
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Nice post Beech ;)

Great to hear from someone working in a bar :).

Yeah,I was getting glances and smiles when I wasn't anywhere near the bar.Oh well,women are confusing,he,he,he,he............ :( :p

:D
 
That's if you want to pick up drunken yobbos....

I never bother cracking onto bar chicks because i know that whatever i say they will have heard before, and will have their defence mechanism up straight away....
 
Donny Don't said:
That's if you want to pick up drunken yobbos....

I never bother cracking onto bar chicks because i know that whatever i say they will have heard before, and will have their defence mechanism up straight away....
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defence mechanism is if you don't leave her alone the security guards will defend her ;)
 
far too much effort bar girls...

think about it...

the girls behind the bar are at work, and are being paid to be there...
the girls outside with you are at play, and are paying to be there...

Which would be more open to a genuine move?
 
I'm a bar guy and i'm happy to pick up whilst at work as long as the person is hot and not some loser. I'd say the best pick up line is no pick up line when hitting on bar staff because yes they have heard them all before. So maybe just be nice and genuine and if they are interested in you then you will know about it. No sleazy, cheesey lines, just be straight up and honest is my theory. But for those losers out there just tip big, your still not going to get anywhere but you make us bar folk happy with your tips. ;)

Beech out
 
workng behind a bar = being paid to flirt
so much fun! and if you're interested in the person you're flirting with, even better!!

and yes, in my case giving you free drinks or bar snacks meant i was keen (and yes, of course, it always got results :P)

but if i didn't like someone much, i was never over-the-top. boys at the bar tend not to mess around after a few drinks ("so, you coming home with me after your shift?" "are you single?" "do you want my number?" = "no" "no" "no")

ah those were the days... i hated my job, but god it was easy to pick up, because you didn't have to think up an opening line- they would always come to you! ;)
 
I may be stepping out of this thread soon too. Apparently i have, but untill its official i would prefer to say not.

I forgot what being smitten feels like. Its very nice. Awwww.
 
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