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Bluelight Singles thread "Living without justification" Part 2

Not that I was really a part of this thread but I too may be removed (for now). I had a rather successful first date with a certain fellow raver earlier today. She doesn't usually kiss on first dates so I feel lucky.:o

(Wow, is everyone hooking up left right and centre here? Spring is around the corner...)

Now back to verifying that I really did just compose a gabber track and not remembered someone else's. I love thought processes in low level sleep.
 
Muzby...

I read what you said and have to disagree.

"Be Yourself" is often the advice people give but i think it misses the point. If things haven't been working then perhaps it's time to change. If they are having problems attracting women by doing what they are doing, wouldn't it be an idea to try something else?

NOTE: I did not say BE SOMEONE ELSE.

In every area of life we are equipped with skills. Very few people are good at something straight away, we need to practice - this also applies to relationships. It involves skills, knowing what works and what doesn't. Some people are better at attracting the other sex and it aint all about looks. It's about a central attitude of self respect and confidence. Add in a sense of spontanaeity and playfulness and you got a nice alluring cocktail. You can't really change your looks but you can change your attitude. If you have been using the same attitude/approach for years and keep getting walked over, used and never getting the girl you want.... then CHANGE! Do something different. Believe that you can, tell that negative voice in your head to "shut the fuck up" because it's not helping.

When you hear a girl complain about the guy/boyfriend who treats them like shit and how she needs someone more caring and nice, like you... ask yourself "if she wants someone like me, why isn't she with me?"

It's because theres no ATTRACTION. She likes you because you are nice, genuine, caring and sweet but these characteristics don't result in attraction. Thats why he's getting the sex and adoration and you are getting emotionally drained by putting this girl on a pedestal.

Girls like a guy who confident, funny and has self respect. If you don't respect yourself she won't respect you. If you do everything for a girl she won't respect you. If she doesn't respect you she won't be attracted to you. So my advice is to any of you 'nice guys' out there that are sick of how you are going with women to quit making excuses and start making changes. It shouldn't be just 'gettin lucky' if you get a girl, you need to start taking initiative and get what you want. We have one life to live and it's too short to be filled with regrets.

PS: The reason i sound passionate about this is because i reached that point of being fed up and started making a change and feel SOO much better since doing so. So PM me or something if anything i said struck a chord with you

</Adikkal on the motivational tip>
 
I love Adge and his tips for better living. =D Seriously though, he makes a good point.

The people I know in this thread really shouldn't be in this thread [because of course having a partner is the single most defining thing about one's personality... not to mention the most important *cough*]
 
Re: Muzby...

Adikkal said:


It's because theres no ATTRACTION. She likes you because you are nice, genuine, caring and sweet but these characteristics don't result in attraction. Thats why he's getting the sex and adoration and you are getting emotionally drained by putting this girl on a pedestal.

Girls like a guy who confident, funny and has self respect. If you don't respect yourself she won't respect you. If you do everything for a girl she won't respect you. If she doesn't respect you she won't be attracted to you. So my advice is to any of you 'nice guys' out there that are sick of how you are going with women to quit making excuses and start making changes. It shouldn't be just 'gettin lucky' if you get a girl, you need to start taking initiative and get what you want. We have one life to live and it's too short to be filled with regrets.
Click to expand...

I just thought i'd say that i have found a boy who is genuine, caring, sweet and NICE and was thinking about the conversation that happened in this thread about nice boys not getting anywhere blah blah blah and people saying that no one really wants a nice guy. I still think it's bullshit and that ALL girls want a nice guy but it's the nice guys that are not PUSHY and that's why they get left behind. I nearly left mine behind too actually because i keapt thinking

"Whats wrong with him? why does he like me so much and is so open about it?" etc etc so sub conciously i must not have thought too much about myself (and i thought i had more confidence in me than that) and it was kinda hard to actually let someone treat me so well because i thought maybe he wanted something from me or something and had other motives. I think it was just that i had to really truley think that how felt about me (as a WHOLE person ie looks, personality and the little stupid things i do) was genuine because that's how he saw me and that's how i actually was. He let me see how beautiful i really am through his eyes and had made me appreciate being 'me'

I told him he treats me like a princess (and he so does, that i wonder if i actually desrve it after telling myself that i do) and he said matter of factly

"Well that's because you ARE a princess" :)

So tip for the girls who pass on the nice guys..... don't :)
 
I'm sure there are girls who like their nice guys don't get me wrong but i'll say that you will get bored of a nice guy more quickly. I'm happy for you doofqueen. Obviously once people are in a relationship and have been for a while then the guy is going to be showing more and more of his nice characteristics - my point is that these are not effective ways to cause ATTRACTION in the first place. It's a fundamental psychological principle that we want what we can't have, it's called the rule of scarcity. Ever wonder why when you know you can have something easily (i.e. the guy who absolutely adores you and tells you so all the time) you tend to lose interest and gravitate towards something a little more challenging.

It's because the power balance becomes unequal. If you are putting your cards on the table all the time, theres no sense of uncertainty because they KNOW that they have you and will put in less effort to keep you - i.e. walk over you.
The irony is that the more distant the girl becomes the clingier the guy will get in effort to get her back. She is his challenge, keeping him guessing. Her affection is portioned out, not poured on thick all the time. When it is portioned out, it is like a drug fix when he gets it and the uncertainty keeps him wanting more.

This principle works both ways. As in girls can fall into the same problem but i'm talking in the context of nice guys who far too often get fucked over and then whinge and play the victim. Fuck being a victim, the reason she acted the way she did is because you bored her with your behaviour. It's not that she doesn't like you, it was the way you acted under the influence of emotion. Emotion doesn't make for sensible choices. Don't deny emotions, but realise that you can control the degree of influence they have.

1234 - It shouldn't be horribly depressing man. When you see it as an opportunity to give something else a go you'll look forward to adopting a more fun and playful attitude. It's certainly much better than self-doubt and self-pity, trust me!

Up All Night knows the dealio, cynical funny bastards all the way ;)

Adikkal
 
Church chics are seriously an untapped resource. They are like a bomb waiting to explode!

Really, a $5 Bible could be the best investment any man makes!

You mix the two words "God" & "Sex" together, and people listen.

shals :D
 
I'm officially out of this thread and I promise not to post anymore. I ditched uni today to drink beer and play pool with him. I beat him and he sulked. It was wonderful. =D

When we got back to his place he said, 'I have something for you' and came back with a picture book of a poem called desiderata by Max Ehrmann. He opened it to a particular page and told me I should start paying attention. Written on the page was, 'Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.'

Maybe he knows me better than I thought he did. Maybe this will work. Anyways, adios.
 
7abd33b7-0e8c-4470-aba9-67ce452277c9


this good enough for you raverchick??
 
shal said:
Church chics are seriously an untapped resource. They are like a bomb waiting to explode!

Really, a $5 Bible could be the best investment any man makes!

You mix the two words "God" & "Sex" together, and people listen.

shals :D
Click to expand...

hahaha !! That was fucking hilarious, nice one! =D
 
up all night said:
I'm officially out of this thread and I promise not to post anymore. I ditched uni today to drink beer and play pool with him. I beat him and he sulked. It was wonderful. =D

When we got back to his place he said, 'I have something for you' and came back with a picture book of a poem called desiderata by Max Ehrmann. He opened it to a particular page and told me I should start paying attention. Written on the page was, 'Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.'

Maybe he knows me better than I thought he did. Maybe this will work. Anyways, adios.
Click to expand...

That's so awesome, you paint a real picture of who you are through words :) Wicked Stuff! =D
 
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