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Bluelight Singles thread "Living without justification" Part 2

i know how you feel...i hate to say it, but i'm borderline CRUSHLESS!!!

the potential i mentioned a page or so back has a gf.

Here's a topic for discussion. It's semi-serious.

What do we all feel about 'announcing' for lack of a better word, that you are taken.

Like i know it seems unreasonable to have to caveat your relations with anyone by letting them know you're taken - but really it presents so many problems.

If I meet a guy, I rely on two things to let me know whether he's single.

1. the namedrop. Most people in relationships can't seem to BEAR going without mentioning the fact they are not single for more than a few hours. Even if they don't do it excessively, it usually still comes up at least once, in relation to something or other.

2. the vibe. this one sucks because so many people are just plain flirts ;). a lot of people when they are taken emit a taken vibe...but as i said, this can't always be used as an absolute rule because often taken people still emit a single vibe :X

this is obviously sparked because the potential i mentioned a page or so has a gf. and i really wouldn't have picked it.

i now think people should HAVE to namedrop it, if they meet anyone who there could be any vague possibility of hooking up with. :\
 
^ heh. I'm blunt. I ask.

That being said, I think if people don't mention their partner once in say, a two week period, then they're being purposely misleading. Especially if there are hardcore flirtations going on.
 
Mary Poppins said:
i know how you feel...i hate to say it, but i'm borderline CRUSHLESS!!!

the potential i mentioned a page or so back has a gf.

Here's a topic for discussion. It's semi-serious.

What do we all feel about 'announcing' for lack of a better word, that you are taken.

Like i know it seems unreasonable to have to caveat your relations with anyone by letting them know you're taken - but really it presents so many problems.

If I meet a guy, I rely on two things to let me know whether he's single.

1. the namedrop. Most people in relationships can't seem to BEAR going without mentioning the fact they are not single for more than a few hours. Even if they don't do it excessively, it usually still comes up at least once, in relation to something or other.

2. the vibe. this one sucks because so many people are just plain flirts ;). a lot of people when they are taken emit a taken vibe...but as i said, this can't always be used as an absolute rule because often taken people still emit a single vibe :X

this is obviously sparked because the potential i mentioned a page or so has a gf. and i really wouldn't have picked it.

i now think people should HAVE to namedrop it, if they meet anyone who there could be any vague possibility of hooking up with. :\
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Im shocking at this! I think, straight up honesty is the best thing anyone can recieve. Sure, it might surprise and even upset some, but on the other hand its refreshing and it puts any hopes to rest before they develop. Although harder then it seems, i think it generally feels better this way. Also when you are having a conversation with someone its good to be listening to everything they have to say, not consciously figuring over using the "namedrop" or "vibe" methods! ;)
 
^ well i don't consciously figure them over

that was just for ease of explanation!! :p

it's not something i do at the time, usually afterwards. damn, now i sound psychotic.

i still think people should volunteer the information, and the onus is on the person IN the relationship. lol.

ok, maybe i'm just lazy :)
 
I hate doing the blatant namedrop...

I try and be a bit more subtle and relaxed with it.

"where are you going after this?"
"oh.. meeting up with *****"
"oh yeah? Who is ****? Is she your girlfriend?"
"yeah. she is ace"
".... oh... so... how long you guys been seeing each other for?"


It still always feels so awkward. Like when you try to swallow an aspirin and it gets lodged halfway down your throat.. it is like a communication version of that.
 
^^ I don't see it as laziness, it's a about a level of presumptuousness that you're not comfortable bringing up.

Asking the 'boyfriend' question immediately shows more interest than you are willing to admit to to and so it's a self preservation thing non?

I'm in this thread and simply loving it.
 
There is a best time to ask: during pillow talk %)

'do you like..'
*whisper*
'oh, really?'
*dirty smile*
'so does your boyfriend do that?'
 
I think it's just awkward any way you look at it.

Guys/girls that always mention their partner, their honey, their boy, their baby *vomits* I've always thought were way too insecure.

But I guess at some point you really have to mention the fact especially if theres a completely obvious time - I know when I haven't used this time, I have to look into whether I'm actually happy to be 'taken'

The worst is when guys like to use the line to get out of the way as soon as possible: "So, a good-looking girl like you would have to have a boyfriend, right?" which usually comes with my response of "God no, boyfriends no no no..." begin rant...
 
^^^ Fucken Classic ! :)

I always try to mention my partners name if I think things are getting a bit too flirtatious, EVEN WITHIN THE FIRST MEETING ! I usually dont if I know I am never going to see that person again, and just brush them off, because I really just enjoy the flirting and sexual tension, and I prefer to enlongenate it as much as possible FOR THAT NIGHT ONLY !

This one time I got very close to this guy from uni, in my first few weeks there, we started hanging out, flirting, after EIGHT WEEKS and we are on msn one day, he starts to get a bit dirty and finally I ask him " do you have a GF ?" he tells me that yes, indeed he does ! I WAS FURIOUS !!!!
 
haha. yeah, there was this guy I'd known for a short while who would flirt with me a great deal. After a few drinks at the pub, he invited a group of us back to his house. We all agreed and as we were in the car he started saying "maybe we shouldn't go back to mine". We were like "dude, we're already halfway to your house... why shouldn't we?", to which he just agreed.

2 minutes later and a little bit closer to his house, he did the same thing again. We spent half an hour parked at the servo debating where we should go since he'd randomly sacrficed the plan. I, being the impatient bitch that I am, got out of the car and said I was leaving... going home... to my own home. To which he was like "no, no, no... we'll all just go back to mine. It's cool now".

Fucking Hell...8(

So once again we tried to make the trip.
We arrived!
Hallelujah!!!

"Hey Lisa, meet my girlfriend X, X meet Lisa" ;)

Seriously, with all the fuss I thought he must've lived with a psychotic mother. Or something.

She was hot too! What a tosser.
 
My ex left me because I was a dirty junkie, times have changed now, but she isn't back... I'm kinda seeing a new chic, she is nice, but who knows huh! :)

A sexy looking lad like me shouldent last to long on the availbility market la! :)

Yossssshi!
 
I love the fact this thread has had 51,670 views, but only 3,278 posts....

Like there's 48,000 lurkers waiting to see who's single =D

I'm guilty of that though :\
 
Hey, I'm a bit bored in London so I thought I'd post here. Its been AGES since I've been involved with Bluelight, looks like the same people are still here. Some things never change! :)

Anyway, my relationship status is in total freeze. Basically, because I'm travelling. I am single and I hope that when I get home there is going to be somebody waiting there for me. Time will tell how that works out.

I am keen to get involved with Bluelight again when I get back.

I hope that when I get back that this person I have in mind will be there for me, if not then I don't really know what I'll do. Probably try to get myself back into the cycle of life and move on. But either way, I'll try to make the most of it.

Since I've been overseas there have been quite a few opportunities for me to 'hook up' with people here, but I have declined or just not taken the initiative. I pretty much have not wanted to. I'd rather wait until I'm in some sort of stable place rather than just sleeping around.
 
Getting back into the swing of things since the breakup. A few random hook-ups here and there plus a new prospect as of this weekend. She seems pretty cool but there's plenty more out there, ohh summer is great. Just a matter of getting out there and not only taking opportunities, but CREATING opportunities.

You miss 100% of the opportunities you don't take.

Adikkal
 
still single went out last night ran into the ex had a convo, just catchin up asked how her son and the rest of family is, talked 4 about 20mins, no fights, then her new guy comes up and says i cant talk to her,
told him to get out of my face its up to her if she wants to talk to me, he kept goin on so i walked away then she came up again said he'd gone off at her. i was out with a friend that is friends with both of us and he went and abused fuck out of him then she had the shits with us. then calls me 2 apologise at 330am wen i just got home...

seein another chick though went to dinner with her on thursday had a ball but think its just gonna be ma8s with her
 
^^^ so what you trying to say is....

He who hesitates......goes home and masturbates!
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Pretty much. Sometimes you can take those opportunities and still not get anywhere, haha. Experience is a wonderful thing though
 
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