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Bluelight Singles - from begining to end! don't we love the merge feature!

I guess I have to offer the only rebuttal to that I can answer.
I do count myself out of the relationship/single cycle at the moment. I'm perfectly happy where I am. I know I'm completely incapable of having a relationship, that's why I'm not looking for one, and why I would refuse one if it was initiated by another party.
As to the whole pheremones debate, I think its safe to say that often nature does it best, and that when human beings tamper with natures work, it often upsets the balance, making the process useless.
With pheremones, I think you either got it or you don't with regards to attractive qualities. I'd bet that no damn perfume or aftershave with artificial ones would help.
I can't help thinking back to the short story by Roald Dahl entitled "Bitch" which detailed a perfume so attracting that any man smelling it on a woman would be incapable of preventing himself from fucking her.
That's my contributions for tonight over.
-plaz out-
 
It amazes me when people say 'I am what I am, if they dont like it they can fuck off'.... Working your arse off for something you want doesnt hurt...
I don't know dude... I think having a partner isn't about work at all. Relationships are doomed to angstacy if your personalities have to meet halfway.
Understandably, you have to do something (i.e. 'work') towards establishing a relationship. I deem this 'the acquaintence phase'.
My 'best' relationships have always had mutual independancy and acceptance. We've our own lives and interests. 'If you have a problem with what I do, let's discuss it. But know that people change themselves. I want to make you happy because I genuinely care about you. But if you're going to stop me from being me, you're in the wrong place, and this is going to continue until we are no longer together.'
People need to be comfortable before they can be happy. Finding people totally comfortable with who you are and vice versa... is a fucking difficult thing to find. But jumping into a relationship is not the way to find it.
I mean, how much do you know about any of our partners?
Take away sex, drugs, and the false security of a relationship base, and you're left with a person. The difference between them and a person off the street is how compatible you are, and from this, how much you know and understand of them, and them of you. No qualms about who they are mentally and physically? Can you talk to them as freely as your friends? Cool... then you've got a base from which friendship can develop. I'm not talking about kindergarten acquaintences... when I say friends, I mean people of whom I would die for. Surprisingly enough, there's not that many.
So my point is, if you don't have this, how the fuck is it going to last? Not through 'working at it'.. hehe ;)
Do you need to 'work' at keeping your friends? why should it be any different for your partner?
Want a relationship but can't find a partner cos they're all the same? Get to know them first - no one is the same. Still have a problem? GET THE FUCK OUT OF WHERE YOU ARE AND MEET MORE PEOPLE! ;)
Still can't do it? Shit dude; move to Kashmir and find out how to love yourself first. <-- there are two responses to this.
Peace :)
p.s... How many of us have ever said 'I love you' within the first year?
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One nite i nearly said I love you to some guy Id known for like 2 hours. Now I no that can be false. especially when its concerning the bikkies.
But the confusing part was I still felt that way 2 weeks later. and not under the influence of anything.
I ended up breaking it off. I wasnt sure wot I was feeling was real or wot. it just like i said it got confusing.
 
Originally quoted by Russ:
One of the main reasons that I have moved to the Eastern Surburbs.
rofl.. so do i! wanna hook up?
oh dear.. did i just say that? yeah i did.. whats the point in denying it! and so for the most pointless post so far.. i think i get the award!
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*sorry to hijak the thread (i'm part of a couple) but i wanted to address this question.
Originally posted by Vaile*:
p.s... How many of us have ever said 'I love you' within the first year?
Mr S and I did. very soon after we met. It took a little longer, though, to say we were in love with eachother. Big difference there. We've now been together for almost 4 years. You can't place a timeframe on love... :)
[ 15 August 2002: Message edited by: samadhi ]
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Originally posted by dicey:

rofl.. so do i! wanna hook up?
oh dear.. did i just say that? yeah i did.. whats the point in denying it! and so for the most pointless post so far.. i think i get the award!
Pointless? Hell no. You have my attention.
Name a time and place. My email is on my details :)
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Since I made the comment about pheromones I guess I'd better give my opinion...
First tho, here's a little story...
Some 30 years ago, D. Berliner, at the University of Utah, was studying human skin. To acquire raw material, he scraped skin cells from the insides of casts discarded by skiiers who had had broken bones. From this debris, Berliner extracted numerous chemical compounds. As far as anyone could tell, these substances were odorless, so he stored them in open flasks. However, Berliner noticed that when people were working in the lab with the flasks, they were more friendly and relaxed than normal. He could not divine the reason until some months later when he decided to cover the flasks of skin-derived substances. Curiously, the lab workers soon reverted to their usual grumpy selves! What could account for this strange behavior change? Knowing that animals often communicated with one another employing chemicals called pheromones, Berliner suspected that the flasks had been releasing odorless human pheromones. Sure enough, analysis of the skin-derived materials proved him correct.
My opinion matches that of the writer of this paper, summed up here:
I would like to propose a new way of looking at pheromones, specifically in humans. With our highly developed intellect and rich compliment of emotions, ambitions, motivations and desires, it may not be profitable to look at human pheromones the same way we look at animal pheromones. Instead of looking for odorants that cause a definite physiological response, it may behoove us to look at how possible pheromones affect our attitudes. We are not machines that blindly fall into some stereotyped behaviour in response to an odor, but we may be machines that are nudged towards a type of behaviour by pheromones in concert with our higher intellect.I think that pheromones are real, as is their effect, however in humans the effect is quite small, especially in those with a high level of Emotional Intelligence, and those who are more aware of their own emotions and the way those emotions affect their behaviour...
Vaile*: I agree with you for the most part, however as the samahdi have said 'I love you' within the first year, so have I...
Perhaps you were just asking, and not making any statements with your question...
But either way, I think that if it takes a year to be able to trust someone enough, and to trust that you know them well enough to love them, then perhaps you are right, maybe you shouldn't be together, because it's not working out that well...
That said, circumstances vary... If contact is infrequent due to circumstances beyond each person's control, then love has little chance to grow and it may take more than a year... And also, some people simply don't open up to each other, or anyone else, all that quickly... Two people may be perfectly match, but if part of that match is that they are both shy and slow to allow others to get close, then it will take a while before either can say 'I love you'.
So basically, you can't generalise, some people can fall in love, true love, very quickly, while others will take a long time... The strength and honesty of that love could still be the same...
[ 15 August 2002: Message edited by: Tarsarlan ]
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Nothing to whine or bitch about really but it's worth hearing anyway. ;)
You know the old story of meeting people when you're out and off your face, have a great chat, really "connect", swap numbers and then... well it pretty much ends there. It's not always the case.
Last Saturday I was happily smiling away into space and started chatting to a really nice girl. We really hit it off, while nothing happened, she put her number in my phone (cause I can never see straight when my brain is wobbling). Later that night I did something very silly I won't go into.
Sunday I was crashing on my couch, still buzzing away and decided to send her an SMS, basically saying how was your night, mine was great, I did *this, this and this*. To my horror on Monday, I'd realised what I'd done and thought, well there goes any chance of seeing her again.
Last night one of my girlfriends persuaded me to message her again convincing me that I had 'nothing to lose', I also managed to convince myself that I never actually sent the 'bad' SMS. Well she answered, and I called her, and we chatted and we emailed at work today. Twas good. Funny thing is, she actually did get that SMS I convinced myself I didn't actually send (if that makes sense).
I don't know where it'll go, if anywhere, personally I'm not fussed either way. She's 22, single, incredibly hot (or so my brain says) and has a really funky sense of humor. My pants are on but I feel like I've already scored. Woohoo! :)
 
Originally posted by hoptis:
My pants are on but I feel like I've already scored. Woohoo! :)
WTG :)
Play it cool though, no point getting too far ahead of yourself. The battle is only half over! :)
It's a pretty cool feeling though hey? You're all giddy and excited, and can't stop thinking about this mysterious new person and the endless wonderful possibilities that could arise. It's like anything is possible. :)
I guess part of the charm is no matter how pear-shaped it turns, or how used I end up getting, the bubbling feeling of joyous buoyancy when you meet a new person who could be 'the one' never diminishes.
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incredibly hot (or so my brain says)
Carefull now, e-goggles can backfire pretty badly.
I not going into the details of my fucked up love life. But I don't care anymore, guess I'm just too bizarre.
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Originally posted by Macksta:

It's a pretty cool feeling though hey? You're all giddy and excited, and can't stop thinking about this mysterious new person and the endless wonderful possibilities that could arise. It's like anything is possible. :)
I end up getting, the bubbling feeling of joyous buoyancy when you meet a new person who could be 'the one' never diminishes.
That giddy and excited feeling you explain, is great :) its warmth, comfort almost uphoric for me.
The feeling one gets when they meet "the one" must reLLY knock them off their feet.
and back to the thread name, "sex smells" more like it wreaks
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I dunno about pheramones but I find i seem to be acutely aware the different smells individual females have. Hijinx has a very particular smell, and while it wouldnt describe it as enticing or 'yummy', it find that it triggers certain feelings in me because of the way I feel about her. Likewise, I had some friends over a few weeks ago and afterwards when cleaning up I picked up a blanket and it smelled like one of the girls who was there, and it made me smile because it reminded me of one of my friends....
Everything to to with pheramones is all theroies and hypothesis, but I think its very obvious that smell has alot to do with the way people interact.
 
Originally posted by PsychoKitten:
[QB] Ever had a partner that you can’t explain your attraction to other than he smells right?
Yeah, I had that experience once.
A coupla years ago I was seeing this girl who I really had very little in common with, but something about her smell attracted me to her more than I had ever been attracted to any girl before.
I can't quite explain it, but her smell made me feel kinda warm and comfortable, maybe how a baby feels in its mother's arms... or something.
I was mad about her. Cynical as I was, I started thinking that she was THE ONE. I used to go to dodgy pubs and clubs 3-4 nights a week and listen to music that I hated just to be with her.
Then, of course, our lives took totally different paths and we drifted apart.
I haven't felt that way about anyone since, and I often wonder if the scent thing is the sign of TRUE physical attraction.
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Okay I have never realy added to the singles discussion.
My status: single and fucked up(nuff said)
Pheremones: Where is the BL'er that will teach us to make the best pheremones on the planet from kitchen matirials(whats the bet it contains nutmeg... Is there anything it can't do!!)
I'll test it out if you want :P
 
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I've figured out that i'm addicted to starting new relationships - to the freshness and excitement, the natural high you get from the first few weeks with someone new.
[ 17 August 2002: Message edited by: PsychoKitten ]
 
I am still single and i have resolved that i wont just TRY to stay this way for a long time, I WILL.
I am over relationships, i am over boys, i really dont want anything at the moment with anyone. Infact it makes me get edgy just thinking about it... this hasn't got anything to do with anyone else though, just me. I am just not up for it at all.
I wonder if anyone else is as against relationships as i am atm???
 
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