Cohaagen said:
i've known her for about a week, we've spoken on the internet and on the phone for many many hours... we've exchanged lots of pictures. i haven't met her in person... so maybe you are right that i shouldn't rush into things.
be that as it may... the deed is done... i told her i think i'm in love with her.
she said "wow, i've never been loved before"
then she told me she felt the same way about me.
a wave of relief rushed over me. it had to be said.
whatever happens now, at least i've been true to the way i feel. 
Cohaa.
Cohaagen: You've been taken to task about this already, so I won't harp on it. I'll simply say on this matter, in my opinion, what you're doing is headed for failure and My God boy, it's written in huge fucking painted letters all over your forehead (and her's by the way). But as you've said previously, experience is the best teacher. You're about to get a decent serving of exactly that.
But instead of all that condemnation, I want to give you some more practical, far reaching advice. Reading about your various troubles in all sorts of posts here on BL and trying to understand your motivations, I must admit I've been perplexed. At first I thought you may be 16 or 17 years old, a very inexperienced country boy perhaps, just getting out and beginning to see the world. I thought you were a lightwweight, maybe even simple. But then I looked a little deeper: as I say, you've been perplexing me!
Your various posts over the months here on BL have been on far ranging subjects and they've allowed me to perceive just a little more about what makes you tick. What have I found?
1/ You're a good looking, 24 year old boy.
2/ You hold a good job you love, which you do with ease, and are well respected in your field.
3/ You're shy, perhaps a little too quiet upfront and very insecure with women around that you're attracted to.
4/ Your heart is pure, good and pretty strong. You're protecting it from more hurt (I don't know what hurt you originally, but it must have been huge - I don't have time to read EVERYTHING you've contributed to here).
5/ You have a LOT more to offer than you are willing to share freely right now (see #4).
6/ I don't know where your father is, but you are screaming for a little older, manly advice right now. That's where I come in.
See, none of the great qualities I mentioned above makes any sense when I listen to the voice you use in posts, the one for example that is trialling a relationship over the internet, one you say has you 'in love' with a girl you have never layed eyes on before!! Alarm bells are ringing my friend and they are bloody loud! You're either dicking this whole online community around for the joy of the shitstorm you want to bring, or you really ARE clueless about what you have and what you could have?? I'm not sure which, but I'll take a punt and say you're naaively genuine, in which case I have no choice but to try and help you.
ALL your troubles with women, my friend, are a result of the lack of belief you have in
yourself. Period. Full stop. Go back and read the first sentence again. Again.
This is you talking, in another thread:
"...i'm sorta going thru the same thing now, finding that if i just take a step back and let things flow i seem to find people who are like-minded, rather than making myself fit a mould that i don't really belong in...". Listen to your own advice my friend because just there, you got it exactly right. You've just explained the key to a wholly successful life!!
You don't belong in internet relationships. You don't belong at the bottom, taking scraps. You need to stay strong in yourself, recognise your own worth, and stand firm on the belief that what you offer is more than worthwhile. Christ I believe it and I've never even met you! I don't want to date 'ya, but god knows there is very little wrong with you that any right-minded girl with half a brain couldn't fathom herself, given a decent time to get it (and without any smothering pressure from you)...
Take a step back. Falling in love with someone you have never met is a loser's last option. And that's not you. You're better than this. Start believing it. Somebody has pussy whipped you down to a level you don't belong at (it doesn't matter who - your mother, and ex-girlfriend, who cares?). Get back up here and start punching at your own weight son. You don't belong in the gutter looking up. Mentally take yourself out now and raise your aim, before its too much later.
You're better than this.... Go prove it!..
