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Bluelight Singles - from begining to end! don't we love the merge feature!

My last boyfriend who i got rid of 10 months ago treated me badly :( it wasnt like he hit me but the verbal abuse was just as bad.
He once said to me "well u cant be happy all the time" I happend to be on PROZAC at the time to treat very bad depression. not something u want to be hearing from someone who is supposed to be supportive. I threw the box at him and said why the fuck do u think im on that for?
he then made out that id some how deserved it. like he always did.
We broke up and got back together again and he didnt have the decency to bring me flowers. i no thats old fashioned but hell if u cant treat your gf better than that u dont deserve her.
Im over him now but im hell of a picky. I dont want to be in another relationship with someone who smokes both pot and tobacco and drinks alot to top it off. so when i meet a potential Im wanting to no wot their drug habits are.
 
I've just plain given up. I'm a nice guy, that anyone can trust, but it seems I'm just too nice. I was born single and I'll die single, but at least of got heaps of really cool friends to hang out with.
 
^^ Took the words right outta my head dude!
Word to that statement, one can only take so much 'looking' before they just say 'fuck it'.
 
one can only take so much 'looking' before they just say 'fuck it'.
Not sure how to take that statement. ;)
Being alone doesn't mean you're lonely just as having a partner doesn't mean you've really got company.
People worry so much about life and love. We all want to make it perfect, don't want to screw it up, make sure the timing's right, pick the most compatible person, work out who that person is, question whether there's someone better, cry when it doesn't work, fake laugh our way through lonely days, pretend we don't care when we go home alone, continue our search in all the wrong places, look for love in all the wrong faces, do the same thing with routine surety knowing that's just the way it works....
Kinda gets boring after a while.
[ 04 July 2002: Message edited by: Queen Beat ]
Click to expand...
 
I'm sick and tired of feeling scared of what might happen if I let her know how I really feel...
I'm trying to get up the courage to say something, but my fucked-up head keeps telling me that it'll all shurn to tit if I do anything, even though it's so blatantly obvious that it's not the case...
And I spose I'm afraid of what's going to happen if she returns any feelings... 'cause this is the first relationship that I would have been in in 4 years, the first relationship that is actually going to be real in my life...
I'm sick and tired of feeling like a 12-year-old right now, all these thoughts are completely and stupidly irrational, and I should just give her a call, organise lunch or something, and tell her.
That's the hard part though, not chickening out every time I'm with her... :\
FFS! Anyone got anything to say that isn't just "you spaz, don't be a retard and do something!"???
 
There isn't anything for certain in life except for death and taxes. If you leave it, you've got a 100% chance that nothing's going to happen but otherwise if you want something to happen, well guess what, you're going to have to roll the dice. Sorry, there's no words of consolation from me today. You roll the dice every time you do anything in life, walking across the street you're rolling them that some driver isn't going to kill you, or when you plug a fucking toaster in, so guess what. If you lose, then you fucking lost, I'm sorry but that's the thing that happens. The only thing that's for sure is that if you stay out of the game, and won't bet, you will never have a chance of winning.
So good luck, and throw those fucking dice people.
-plaz out-
 
Tarsy- on the trust issue, pretty much the only time i've actually let my guard down with a guy they have fucked me over.
Generally with guys i tend to take things slowly because of this fact, i WONT sleep with them so soon (in some cases not at all because i stop seeing them before it gets to that). So you can imagine how it feels when you do and that happens? i dont live with regrets, its all learning for me. But from now on im just gonna take a different perspective when seeing people first time. As much as i love getting to know people with a bit of extra confidence (ie alcohol or whatnot) its just not working well.... soooooo ill see them straight hehe. I dunno. Rambling.
Dante- go for it. i know its not what you want to hear, but from a girls perspective, often its obvious the guy likes you but if you leave it too long interest could wane because shes so sick and tired of waiting for something that may never happen. I suppose she could always make the move, but most girls prefer it the other way around.
 
Some good points made indeed, especially from Queen Beat and Da Plazman'.
I aint saying that i really hate being single, i mean i was in this good relationship with a girl up here in Newy, but its like something stopped me from taking it further. Im pretty sure it was fear, being out of the game so long, really badly messing up my first ever real relationship i had, this fear got a hold on me. And its slowly making it harder and harder to move on. Getting back in there is not easy now. The option of teaming up with a good friend of mine and going lady hunting has helped shit a bit and i cant wait til we do that!!!!! :D
But yeah, its definately not as easy as saying 'just get back in the game', cause its like im the stupid mascot for the team now that evryone likes but noone would let play.
 
And while the boys are busy on the field playing their game the mascot gets to sit back and chat up the cheerleaders. ;)
 
Dante: here's an idea. Do nothing. Spend forever and a day wondering what would've happened if you did something, and blah blah regrets blah. OR
You could clumsily say something to her that lets her know what you're feeling. She could laugh, because it came out a bit wrong, but it's more likely she'll blush a bit, try not to grin wider than ever before, and say something good. She could delicately say that she doesn't want to rush into things, but you know that already. Hey, you could even just spend mad amounts of time with her until things just start to progress, and words will come along with that.
Basically, having talked to her a bit, I know she likes you. She can see that wonderful guy in you, and in the unlikely situation that she doesn't go for a relationship, I reckon friendship is still a very big option.
Change is frightening, specially when it's a four year status you're changing. It's natural to be scared to death when you're with her of screwing things up, or of saying the wrong thing or whatever. But regrets are harder to deal with than that moment where your guts twist into knots between when you start saying you like her til she says something back.. So go for it :D
(Please excuse the large amount of rambling, Mez is a very tired girl today)
 
Dante - enjoy it man. Believe it or not, what you're describing is one of the best stages of any relationship. How could anyone hate something so exhilarating?
 
^^ You never realise how much fun it is until you're in a relationship and then when you're not in a one it's not fun at all..hmmm actually it can be fun but it can also be a major pain in the arse *shrug*. :)
 
Jakoz: Exhilarating?!?!?
I hate that stage of a relationship, it's frustrating and confusing and I'd much rather just get it over and done with...
Maybe I hate it so much 'cos there's only been one time when I've got past that point and actually into a relationship... ;)
Dante: By now you should have said something to her... C'mon, spill it!
 
Well the 'being single' thing hasn't phased me much lately, i think that's cause there is a certain rave coming up soon that im a bit more pre-occupied with.
Im kind of thinking it would be nice to meet someone this weekend, but while everyone is all happy and lovey dovey at these 'raves' - it's only temporary. It's happened before, meet someone while out, then the come down and subsequent thinking 'shit, but this was all sooo good last night'. Well yeah, thought id have me a little rant. :D
 
I dont trust those mind altering drugs.. well i dont trust them after i met my ex on them!
but anyway I dont look my age and i get guys who are like 20 going after me (am 24). its cool when they cute. but problem is Im nearly over the scene and they just getting into it.. Maybe I should follow my own advise sometimes and maybe take up a new interest so i can met people who dont take drugs.. not that drugs are a bad thing but like i said im nearly over the whole scene. i dont need someone whos just started their ecstasy honeymoon.
 
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