bitter pill

[figure11]

in the proposed tomorrow
my forgiving fiber will turn to steel
so heavy I slip into my skin
bypass this human reaction
that some call fear-
I think of it more as a will to live,
if there truly is a
difference

gravity will take control of my hysteria
caressing me in welcome certainty
“stay put” she says
somehow it’s increased tenfold
I’d try to challenge the thickness
if I weren’t as bold
blacked out
face-down on the cement
I’ve never been so grounded
I don’t care if I become incapacitated
better still, I suppose
render me useless, bitter pill
let my eyes roll into the back of my head
like an empty shotgun shell
foam forming at the mouth like a shoreline

these waves only take
these waves only take
these waves only take

take this love and flatline
I have an affinity for
the wrong place at the wrong time

I hate your sympathy
take me back to my father
I’ll fall asleep under this gorgeous water

I don’t care if I drown-
better still,
render me useless, bitter pill

 

[New]

I liked reading this. Being in the throes of addiction is a bitter pill to swallow...quite literally, as you've expressed. Thank you for sharing this part of yourself with us.

 

[figure11]

I liked reading this. Being in the throes of addiction is a bitter pill to swallow...quite literally, as you've expressed. Thank you for sharing this part of yourself with us.

That's exactly what I meant in writing it. I really appreciate the kind words.