• S E X
    L O V E +
    R E L A T I O N S H I P S


    ❤️ Welcome Guest! ❤️


    Posting Guidelines Bluelight Rules
  • SLR Moderators: Senior Staff

bipolar and relationships!

fastandbulbous said:
Reading that did make me think he was an unmittigated twat, but knew a lot about his condition and as such was able to twist events so that 'he wasn't to blame, the illness was'. I'm bipolar (type II I think it's classified as - I never get full blown manic episodes, just hypomania), yet I'd never consider cheating on my wife, even during a very rough patch we had 3 years ago when our sex life was non existant for almost a year. Yes, I'd admit that people with bipolar illness most probably do have a more active libido (during that time it was almost like being 15 again I spent so much time 'bashing the bishop'!). Equally, the comment about 'living in the moment' seems so practiced & contrived to excuse inexcusable behaviour. For me, that translates as I can get really caught up and enthused in an activity, moreso than anyone I know, but it in no way means that I don't understand the morality of my actions or the hurt it could cause others; actually for me 'living in the moment' means that I start lots of things full of good intentions & noble ideals, but most of them end up as half completed projects that never get finished - it does not mean that I'll go off and fuck anyone who'll have me.

Basically, your ex and the ex of your friend sound like self centered bastards that have sussed that they can get away with blaming their shitty behaviour on the disease (because it's such strange territory to anyone without the illness). I'll bet that if you were to follow it up, you'd find they use the same excuse to justify being selfish twats to their friends & family as well. The worst thing is though, because of their unacceptable behaviour, they're the examples that stick in people's minds and therefore are mistakenly seen as the model of bipolar illness by a lot of society.

I have had a couple of people in the past try to 'explain' their shitty behaviour away as being an intrinsic part of bipolar illness without realizing that they were talking to a fellow suffer. They ended up being one of the few times where I didn't take my normal 'non-confrontation' path and told them what I thought of them, that it wasn't due to being bipolar, but due to them being callous, self-centred, greedy twats.

If you want an analogy - bipolar illness is like you never grow up and retain that childish, over the top enthusiasm for starting things that you find interesting/exciting. It does not mean that you never develop a sense of right or wrong, or are unable to control sexual impulses - that's something altogether different - sociopathy.
Click to expand...

He never used his illness as an excuse for what he did. Maybe that's what hurts and is clouding my judgement? I guess I want to forgive him in my head because i don't want hate in my life for anyone. He told me early on that he was manic depressive and i later found out that bipolar was the new name for it. I just thought he would have drastic mood swings and i loved him so much i was going to be understanding and be there for him. Everytime i'm in a relationship i play the role of the nurse/carer. Maybe because i'm a mum and a teacher so it comes naturally to just look after people... i don't know.... anyway i'm rambling sorry

I know it was probably more him as a person then the illness but an illness is easier to forgive. I'm sorry if i've come across as bipolarist(i made a new word, yay) I don't mean to say or come across as saying "ALL bipolar people are bad" It just seems to me that i might have reading back and reading peoples latest posts. I'd be heaps upset if people saw me that way because i like to pride myself on tolerance (even though ironically because i have different views people think the opposite when i don't agree)

umm sorry rambling again.... stoned... day off.... ummmm

what the fuck was my point again?

oh yeah... i guess that experience REALLY hurt me and i'm so scared to be hurt like that again so sub conciously maybe i'm shutting off and blaming the illness and not the person just cos it hurts even more that someone could lie about loving me. You shouldn't lie about that. That's the worst feeling in the world and i never want to feel like that again. :(
 
ha! you think that's rough?

try being in a relationship with someone and having bipolar disorder... Being completely in love and having everything in life being perfect one moment and for absolutely no reason the next you are telling you s/o how much you hate them and how you can't stand them.. and how they don't deserve to remain alive.

I think I nearly killed the girl I loved (on the inside) because I was emotionally unstable... of course.. her ending up going lesbian didn't help the situation much either I'm sure.
 
^that's always what's really killed me, wanting nothing more than to *just be happy with someone* for more than a week at a time.... but it never happens.... It makes me feel like I don't deserve relationships cuz I can never be as good as I should be to someone.
 
^ Best way to approach it is to ask them, not judge yourself. I know how easy it is to get into fits of self-loathing, but I'm also aware how that can have very little to do with circumstances between me & my other half. After this long together, I know that I can ask her,"Am I being a unreasonable bastard?" and she'll give me an honest answer; 99% of the time, it's just down to the way I feel about myself, but because of that on the rare occasions she says 'yes', I know to change my approach and behaviour.

If your other half thinks your attitude & behaviour are OK, you shouldn't go beating yourself up because you don't. Without wanting to sound like an old fart, I've had a lot longer to live with the condition than most people here and after 20 odd years of bipolar illness & effects on relationships I know my judgement is sometimes way off; in those circumstances I trust the opinions of those I love & trust. Maybe you haven't had long enough with the illness to see that aspect
 
He mentioned pedophilia because the poster he was responding to talked about child molesters. He was making a very valid point. And for the record, pedophilia is really no different from any other "mental illness" - it's a psychological state that is uncontrollable by the person it afflicts. Can you help you you're attracted to? No, same as you can't control depression, mania, or any other "head problem." Pedophilia may be an "illness" but that doesn't mean it will ever be defensible by law. My manic rage is an illness during which I'd love to go out and murder people, but just cuz i'm in a rage doesn't mean I don't know it's wrong to do it. Same goes for preying on children. There's a difference between wanting to and knowing it's wrong than going out and doing it.
 
that is the MOST DANGEROUS thing i have ever heard anyonre say re the topic of paedophilia.
Click to expand...


No, your vigilante stance comes across as a lot more dangerous, as people falsely accused of paedophilia would have their necks stretched before they had a chance to legally defend themselves.

As KITD said, it's one thing to have those thoughts/emotions etc running through your head - that part is the illness; acting on them while knowing it's wrong is the crime.

Or are we to start punishing people for what they think rather than theur actions?


if i had my way, genetics could weed out these pieces of shit and have them destryoed before birth.
Click to expand...

Sieg heil mien Fuhrer :|

- wait until they discover something undesirable in your genetic make up (predisposition to Huntingdon's chorea, Parkinson's disease, schizophrenia etc) and they come to 'remove' you from the gene pool. That sort of extreme right wing thinking is what's caused more misery to the human race than any psychiatric illness (in excess of 50 million dead from the last time it reared its ugly head, in case you forgot)
 
Last edited:
fastandbulbous said:
^ Best way to approach it is to ask them, not judge yourself. I know how easy it is to get into fits of self-loathing, but I'm also aware how that can have very little to do with circumstances between me & my other half. After this long together, I know that I can ask her,"Am I being a unreasonable bastard?" and she'll give me an honest answer; 99% of the time, it's just down to the way I feel about myself, but because of that on the rare occasions she says 'yes', I know to change my approach and behaviour.

If your other half thinks your attitude & behaviour are OK, you shouldn't go beating yourself up because you don't. Without wanting to sound like an old fart, I've had a lot longer to live with the condition than most people here and after 20 odd years of bipolar illness & effects on relationships I know my judgement is sometimes way off; in those circumstances I trust the opinions of those I love & trust. Maybe you haven't had long enough with the illness to see that aspect
Click to expand...


Very good answer. :)
 
^ As I mentioned, I've had a long time to live with it and form conclusions on the 'ins & outs' of bipolar illness (when I was diagnosed, most docs still referred to it as manic-depression!) & how it has impacted on my relationships
 
Hmm... this is an old post, and I haven't finished the thread, but here's my comment.

"every chick i've ever met with bipolar is promiscuous... Can anyone answer that? without a lame ass "they wanna be loved" excuse."

What makes you think it's a lame ass excuse? If you don't experience the feeling of needing to be promiscuous to feel loved, how can you relate to it? If that's really the case for them, don't you think it's a much bigger problem for them than it is for you? Then... why do you seem *angry* about this?

A lack of self identity and understanding can lead to this kind of behavior in search for the fullfillment you call the need to be loved. Naturally, many people with mood or personality disorders experience a lack of self identity.
 
Replace the "homosexuality" with "heterosexuality" and you'll start to understand things a little bit better. Natural urges are natural urges, and that's just how it is. What we choose to do about them is what makes us human.
 
all these "behaviours" that we have been involving ourselves in since time began, now have a fancy little name for and a pill to help you for it.

"intermitant explosive disorder", "pre-menstrual dysphoric disorder", "bi-polar,"tri-polar"... whatever.

psychiatry was created for people who are weak and dont want to take responsibility for themselves or their actions. more insidiously though, it is an avenue for justification for ones criminal activities.

yes they are just selfish manipulative people, but now we have created an illness out of it.

which in turn has created a pharmacuetical empire which influences the government in such a way that it could shut down the methamphetamine trade in one fell swoop but chooses not to do so.

mind boggling.
 
fastandbulbous said:
No, your vigilante stance comes across as a lot more dangerous, as people falsely accused of paedophilia would have their necks stretched before they had a chance to legally defend themselves.

As KITD said, it's one thing to have those thoughts/emotions etc running through your head - that part is the illness; acting on them while knowing it's wrong is the crime.

Or are we to start punishing people for what they think rather than theur actions?






Sieg heil mien Fuhrer :|

- wait until they discover something undesirable in your genetic make up (predisposition to Huntingdon's chorea, Parkinson's disease, schizophrenia etc) and they come to 'remove' you from the gene pool. That sort of extreme right wing thinking is what's caused more misery to the human race than any psychiatric illness (in excess of 50 million dead from the last time it reared its ugly head, in case you forgot)
Click to expand...

apples and oranges, my friend. and if you think for one minute that paedophilia, one paedophile, cannot cause the same damage as hitler, your seriously fuckn deluded.

i dont align my self with any political faction, or church, or ideology for that fact, but you lefties complain when nothing is done, then when it does get done, its not good enough.

my ideology is that a childs welfare is the most precious thing on earth, but you want to put these monsters first. fuck you.

recidivism and escalation are paedophilias 2 middle names and in case YOU havent forgotten, there is no rehabilitation for evil.

why dont you read the post "sexual abuse" and lobby your "right wing solution" there ?
 
Last edited:
Sentence 1: I find people desiring to murder an enemy to be disturbing, but their desiring doesn't affect me or anyone else.
Sentence 2: I find people's being attracted to children disturbing, but their being attracted to children doesn't affect me or anyone else.

Difference between these two statements: only the fact that one is considered socially acceptable, while the other is not. How can something someone does within the confines of their own consciouness possibly be punishable? Once an act is committed, there is a severe problem, but thoughts cannot be punished. Nowhere is anyone suggesting that child molesters should be "given a break" or even attempted to be rehabilitated, just that those that act are much different than those who don't.
 
My ex was bi polar...........extremely..extremely. ...difficult relationship....lots of time..patience and effort..pain and a hell of a lot of bullshit. ...
 
I came to this forum as a bipolar sufferer who was totally fucked over by a non-BP guy I loved more than anything in the world. I came to ask what to do when the pain won't stop, when, in addition to the regular pain of the breakup you have this
In the context of mental illness, a mixed state (also known as dysphoric mania, agitated depression, or a mixed episode) is a condition during which symptoms of mania and depression occur simultaneously (e.g., agitation, anxiety, fatigue, guilt, impulsiveness, insomnia, irritability, morbid and/or suicidal ideation, panic, paranoia, pressured speech and rage). Typical examples include tearfulness during a manic episode or racing thoughts during a depressive episode. Mixed states can be the most dangerous period of mood disorders, during which substance abuse, panic disorder, suicide attempts, and other complications increase greatly.
Click to expand...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mixed_state_(psychology)

But I guess I am just lazy

At least its better than a few weeks ago when I was this
People with bipolar disorder are about twice as likely to commit suicide as those suffering from major depression (12% to 20%).Individuals with bipolar disorder tend to become suicidal, especially during mixed states such as dysphoric hypomania and agitated depression. Suicidal symptoms include:

Talking about feeling suicidal or wanting to die
Feeling hopeless, that nothing will ever change or get better
Feeling helpless, that nothing makes a difference
Feeling like a burden to family and friends
Putting affairs in order (for example, organizing finances (paying debts) or giving away possessions to prepare for one's death)
Putting oneself in harm's way, or in situations where there is a danger of being killed
Abusing alcohol or drugs
Click to expand...

But I guess I was just being undisiplined


It makes me sad to realise the only time I feel ok is when I'm this
Manic patients are frequently grandiose, irritable, belligerent, and frequently deny anything is wrong with them. Because mania frequently encourages high energy and decreased perception of need or ability to sleep, within a few days of a manic cycle, sleep-deprived psychosis may appear, further complicating the ability to think clearly. Racing thoughts and misperceptions lead to frustration and decreased ability to communicate with others.

In addition to decreased need for sleep, other manic symptoms include irritability, hypersexuality, hyper-religiosity, hyperactivity, talkativeness, and grandiose ideas and plans. In manic and less severe, hypomanic cases, the afflicted person may engage in out of character behaviour such as questionable business transactions, wasteful expenditures of money, risky liaisons or highly vocal arguments uncharacteristic of previous behaviors. These behaviors increase stress in personal relationships, problems at work and increases the risk of altercations with law enforcement as well as being at high risk of impulsively taking part in activities potentially harmful to self and others.
Click to expand...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mania

and that people think it is an excuse without realising this
Bipolar disorder is a severely disabling medical condition. In fact, it is the sixth cause of disability in the world according to the World Health Organization. However, with appropriate treatment, many individuals with bipolar disorder can live full and satisfying lives. Persons with bipolar disorder are more likely to have periods of normal or near normal functioning between episodes
Click to expand...
 
So yeah, thanks for tarnishing me with that brush, cunt, I hope she fucked u over good and propper
 
^Who the hell are you talking to? And how do you expect those ignorant to your disorder, to understand it more clearly if you are going to attack them and be extremely hostile?

wikipedia.org said:
In addition to decreased need for sleep, other manic symptoms include irritability, hypersexuality, hyper-religiosity, hyperactivity, talkativeness, and grandiose ideas and plans. In manic and less severe, hypomanic cases, the afflicted person may engage in out of character behavioursuch as questionable business transactions, wasteful expenditures of money, risky liaisons or highly vocal arguments uncharacteristic of previous behaviors.
Click to expand...

Note, the bold highlighted text sums up quite a few very close friends of mine. A little over a year ago, one of my friends wanted me to front him $10,000 towards a business scheme and create a syndicate with other friends of his own, and accumulate over $150,000 capitol, to get into an import/export scheme with bulk-trade of corporate products, I was highly dubious, as were others and I didn't know how to tell him, "no!" So, I just kept on clutching at straws until he gave up. This friend also had a severe gambling and Heroin smoking habit, though I think the fact that his brother was just about to get executed was a cause for all of his irrational and unrealistic behaviour.
 
yeah look that wasn't called for, apologies to all concerned. Seems to be the defining feature of being bipolar.... apologising for your actions.
To the orginal poster here is something that will make you feel a whole lot better. While you, in time, even if it be years will get over this, learn and move on. You can count on her life being chaos and unforfilling.
Peace
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top