ErgicMergic
Bluelighter
- Joined
- May 13, 2011
- Messages
- 2,691
Urgent: Best short term drug for suicidal depression and PTSD prevention (triggering)
I took Kratom, 6g (strong as 20mg hydro), tramadol 50mg, and diazepam 2.5mg at 8:00pm, and 10mg of Norco at t+1:00 and the Temaz 15mg and Clonaz 1mg at t+1:30.
I am suicidially depressed at the moment, and something terrible happened happened tonight, so I am wary of taking any more benzos/any alcohol that might synergize and cause a blackout or a loss of inhibition to go ahead with the plan, but am by no means "benzoed out" due to my moderate tolerance. This is all the equivalent of 30mg diazepam taken over time.
My question is, which extra medications can I take JUST for tonight (short-term) to prevent me from killing myself? I really want help, and the benzos helped me get my mind straight tonight after a particularly intense situation and realize that I didn't have to kill myself. I am thinking about taking Remeron if it gets bad, never taken a Rx AD before but I have Remeron I was thinking to take at 7.5 to knock me out, 15mg for anxiolysis, or 30-45mg for the AD effect, but since that dosage acts with NE, I'll wait for my panic attacks to subside and anxiety to fade in to a hopeless and disappointing depression. I also have anticonvulsants like Neurontin and AD's like Zoloft, and Cymbalta.
They are wearing off a bit, and I am moderately opiated and a moderate level of benzoed. I feel like I need to take a bit more Kava-Kava, L-Theanine, or Gabapentin to keep anxiolysis going until tomorrow (I'm not allowed to sleep tonight), I just am wondering if my judgement is skewed with the benzos I'm on now. I am thinking more opiates (15mg hydro and 37.5mg tram) shouldn't hurt now, but I don't want to do non-benzo drugs like Theanine or Gabapentin and potentiate the shit out the nice, albiet low, dosage of benzos I'm on right now.
I've told my parents that I would give them my benzos if I seriously considered killing myself like I did a few days ago, and I tried to tell them so I can help myself not do it. Opiates are usually a godsend for suicidal depression, (a bit of Kratom/hydro) yesterday and I'm not particularly dependant (3-5g of kratom each morning for a year), but have used enough hydro over this summer to make it safe. The reason I'm posting this and why I told my parents is beacuse I don't want to die right now, and want to prevent myself from getting too benzoed but also prevent myself from getting underbenzoed and overly anxious. This shows that I'm fighting for survival, that some part of me still thinks life is worth it, it's just the facts of dealing with serious chronic pain, social isolation, family hositility, and a felony conviction in the early 20's that's making me not see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Would beta blockers help in preventing PTSD from tonight? I can't fall asleep, though, need to take care of something in the home before morning time.
Edit: Totally forgot about cannabis. A lot of people have problems with it causing anxiety, but indicas are very relaxing and anxiolytic to me. I am very tolerant now, so indicas act as a pure anxiolytic if I am smoking alone, that always made me feel better this week when I the serious depression got even more severe. And, it prevents PTSD from forming if administered in a timely fashion after the incident.
I am starting to nod a bit from the opiates, I think this clonazepam and temazepam is now peaking (t+3:15), amazing clear-headed anxiolysis from the clonaz with a nice physical relief aspect from all three benzos (they are all great muscle relaxants). I will take a booster dose of hydrocodone, as I believe opiates are the safest and most effective occasional medicine for suicial nights, just don't get dependent on them...
Edit2: I took a 20mg dose of hydrocodone at t+
I took Kratom, 6g (strong as 20mg hydro), tramadol 50mg, and diazepam 2.5mg at 8:00pm, and 10mg of Norco at t+1:00 and the Temaz 15mg and Clonaz 1mg at t+1:30.
I am suicidially depressed at the moment, and something terrible happened happened tonight, so I am wary of taking any more benzos/any alcohol that might synergize and cause a blackout or a loss of inhibition to go ahead with the plan, but am by no means "benzoed out" due to my moderate tolerance. This is all the equivalent of 30mg diazepam taken over time.
My question is, which extra medications can I take JUST for tonight (short-term) to prevent me from killing myself? I really want help, and the benzos helped me get my mind straight tonight after a particularly intense situation and realize that I didn't have to kill myself. I am thinking about taking Remeron if it gets bad, never taken a Rx AD before but I have Remeron I was thinking to take at 7.5 to knock me out, 15mg for anxiolysis, or 30-45mg for the AD effect, but since that dosage acts with NE, I'll wait for my panic attacks to subside and anxiety to fade in to a hopeless and disappointing depression. I also have anticonvulsants like Neurontin and AD's like Zoloft, and Cymbalta.
They are wearing off a bit, and I am moderately opiated and a moderate level of benzoed. I feel like I need to take a bit more Kava-Kava, L-Theanine, or Gabapentin to keep anxiolysis going until tomorrow (I'm not allowed to sleep tonight), I just am wondering if my judgement is skewed with the benzos I'm on now. I am thinking more opiates (15mg hydro and 37.5mg tram) shouldn't hurt now, but I don't want to do non-benzo drugs like Theanine or Gabapentin and potentiate the shit out the nice, albiet low, dosage of benzos I'm on right now.
I've told my parents that I would give them my benzos if I seriously considered killing myself like I did a few days ago, and I tried to tell them so I can help myself not do it. Opiates are usually a godsend for suicidal depression, (a bit of Kratom/hydro) yesterday and I'm not particularly dependant (3-5g of kratom each morning for a year), but have used enough hydro over this summer to make it safe. The reason I'm posting this and why I told my parents is beacuse I don't want to die right now, and want to prevent myself from getting too benzoed but also prevent myself from getting underbenzoed and overly anxious. This shows that I'm fighting for survival, that some part of me still thinks life is worth it, it's just the facts of dealing with serious chronic pain, social isolation, family hositility, and a felony conviction in the early 20's that's making me not see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Would beta blockers help in preventing PTSD from tonight? I can't fall asleep, though, need to take care of something in the home before morning time.
Edit: Totally forgot about cannabis. A lot of people have problems with it causing anxiety, but indicas are very relaxing and anxiolytic to me. I am very tolerant now, so indicas act as a pure anxiolytic if I am smoking alone, that always made me feel better this week when I the serious depression got even more severe. And, it prevents PTSD from forming if administered in a timely fashion after the incident.
I am starting to nod a bit from the opiates, I think this clonazepam and temazepam is now peaking (t+3:15), amazing clear-headed anxiolysis from the clonaz with a nice physical relief aspect from all three benzos (they are all great muscle relaxants). I will take a booster dose of hydrocodone, as I believe opiates are the safest and most effective occasional medicine for suicial nights, just don't get dependent on them...
Edit2: I took a 20mg dose of hydrocodone at t+
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