I'm 22. I went through about 5 relationships before the first "big obsession", then had a girlfriend at the end of the obsession, then kind of liked 3-4 girls before this "big obsession". Now, Im thinking that most of this town is impossible to break through with because of culture clash. I'm from the city, and everything is much faster there. Most people think my iq is like 180 here, while it is 120 over there. So I might just move to new york or something. The psychedelic culture has integrated itself even amongst seemingly "status quo" following students near the city, so it is accepted there, but here, I cant find that many people that trip. And especially the girls, they think its something that only really fucked up people do. I tried looking at all the girls online on dating sites, and I can't find one that seems that "cool". This town is just really different from all US towns because of its location.
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Best psychedelic for shifting focus, specifically getting over someone
- Thread starter gen6k
- Start date
I'm 22. I went through about 5 relationships before the first "big obsession", then had a girlfriend at the end of the obsession, then kind of liked 3-4 girls before this "big obsession". Now, Im thinking that most of this town is impossible to break through with because of culture clash. I'm from the city, and everything is much faster there. Most people think my iq is like 180 here, while it is 120 over there. So I might just move to new york or something. The psychedelic culture has integrated itself even amongst seemingly "status quo" following students near the city, so it is accepted there, but here, I cant find that many people that trip. And especially the girls, they think its something that only really fucked up people do. I tried looking at all the girls online on dating sites, and I can't find one that seems that "cool". This town is just really different from all US towns because of its location.
slownerveaction
Bluelighter
gen6k,
You seem like a pretty smart guy. I recommend speaking to a good therapist, hopefully one that uses cognitive behavior therapy. Smart people do particularly well with CBT. The problem with using drugs to resolve these predicaments is that the predicaments will keep appearing fresh and new over time and you will not always have drugs available to help you deal with the predicaments. A good therapist will help you work through the immediate problems and help you prepare for longer-term challenges. I strongly recommend finding one with whom you can work.
Best,
s.n.a.
You seem like a pretty smart guy. I recommend speaking to a good therapist, hopefully one that uses cognitive behavior therapy. Smart people do particularly well with CBT. The problem with using drugs to resolve these predicaments is that the predicaments will keep appearing fresh and new over time and you will not always have drugs available to help you deal with the predicaments. A good therapist will help you work through the immediate problems and help you prepare for longer-term challenges. I strongly recommend finding one with whom you can work.
Best,
s.n.a.
thoughtsUnThought
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Apr 5, 2006
- Messages
- 925
MEDITATION 
perhaps, the silencing of your seemingly precise and intensely analytical mind would yield the chance to let some of these emotions 'cool down'....
I don't think you're crazy, love is a weird thing. and its particularly perplexing to the heavy-thinkers among us, due to the mind's inability to truly get a wrap around the complexity of this emotional state....even if you weren't 'in love', its still rooted in neurochemical and hormonal drives so you had a 'light dose' in the least, lol. you are just over-thinking it, which makes your 'light dose' of love seem like a 'submerssive dose' of love. and i say this as a fellow over-thinker, and a fellow constructor of unnecessarily large mental patterns and thought constructs in regards to social interactions and potential variations of such.
for me the antidote to all the over-thinking and dwelling is meditation. try zen, thoughtlessness. or just go stare at the clouds and 'surrender to reality' for a moment, quit tredding water with all of your analysis there's a million variation to meditation, the translation i heard is 'one centered focus'.
i suggest this in particular because i am a tripper at heart...and i know the feeling and reasoning behind using psychedelics as a tool to overcome obstacles. i, when younger, did take mushrooms regularly while depressed over a lost-love (though a young lost-love, a lil different than my more recent struggle getting over a year of living together) and it did help me. though, that transformation you seek is at the core of the meditation experience as well. while i wouldn't rule out psychedelics as a tool for this purpose, i would say the more truly assimilatable and productive revelations will come from Personal Aptitude outside of the psychedelic experience.
perhaps a middle-way....try centering yourself and meditating until you reach a certain level of peace and have conquered a personal hurdle or two, and then you will be more well-equipped to truly utilize the psychedelic voyaging transformation. *through diligent personal discipline comes the opportunity for truly majestic rewards* set the stage by counterbalancing the energy, (not to say this part is relative to you..but)i try not to 'run from problems' through psychedelic use, even though they may very likely help me with such. I instead try to get myself to 100% or nearso through personal discipline before approaching the teacher there's always tomorrow for a trip, there's always today for transcendence.
perhaps, the silencing of your seemingly precise and intensely analytical mind would yield the chance to let some of these emotions 'cool down'....
I don't think you're crazy, love is a weird thing. and its particularly perplexing to the heavy-thinkers among us, due to the mind's inability to truly get a wrap around the complexity of this emotional state....even if you weren't 'in love', its still rooted in neurochemical and hormonal drives so you had a 'light dose' in the least, lol. you are just over-thinking it, which makes your 'light dose' of love seem like a 'submerssive dose' of love. and i say this as a fellow over-thinker, and a fellow constructor of unnecessarily large mental patterns and thought constructs in regards to social interactions and potential variations of such.
for me the antidote to all the over-thinking and dwelling is meditation. try zen, thoughtlessness. or just go stare at the clouds and 'surrender to reality' for a moment, quit tredding water with all of your analysis
there's a million variation to meditation, the translation i heard is 'one centered focus'.i suggest this in particular because i am a tripper at heart...and i know the feeling and reasoning behind using psychedelics as a tool to overcome obstacles. i, when younger, did take mushrooms regularly while depressed over a lost-love (though a young lost-love, a lil different than my more recent struggle getting over a year of living together) and it did help me. though, that transformation you seek is at the core of the meditation experience as well. while i wouldn't rule out psychedelics as a tool for this purpose, i would say the more truly assimilatable and productive revelations will come from Personal Aptitude outside of the psychedelic experience.
perhaps a middle-way....try centering yourself and meditating until you reach a certain level of peace and have conquered a personal hurdle or two, and then you will be more well-equipped to truly utilize the psychedelic voyaging transformation. *through diligent personal discipline comes the opportunity for truly majestic rewards* set the stage by counterbalancing the energy, (not to say this part is relative to you..but)i try not to 'run from problems' through psychedelic use, even though they may very likely help me with such. I instead try to get myself to 100% or nearso through personal discipline before approaching the teacher
there's always tomorrow for a trip, there's always today for transcendence.
thoughtsUnThought
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Apr 5, 2006
- Messages
- 925
Oh yeah, the answer...with ^ that being said.
The sacred Cactus could be of help...though be very respectful with your approach
i liked your friends mushroom in the woods suggestion too,
though either of these will be vastly more helpful to your situation if you learn to 'drive the ship' of your consciousness through sober meditative work.
hope this is helpful :D
best of progressions brother
The sacred Cactus could be of help...though be very respectful with your approach
i liked your friends mushroom in the woods suggestion too,
though either of these will be vastly more helpful to your situation if you learn to 'drive the ship' of your consciousness through sober meditative work.
hope this is helpful :D
best of progressions brother
ToxicFerret
Bluelighter
^ love is indeed a weird thing. Believe me, I know. I lost the only girl I've ever loved, and it took years to normalize and regain my ability to have healthy romantic relationships. Still to this day I have never felt emotion as intense as my love for her was. I've lost two best friends to drug overdoses, people I've known all my life that I loved as hard as a man can love another man heterosexually.
But I do not believe you can love another person when they are dating another guy and don't show any romantic interest whatsoever in you! And the obsession with that so-called love, combined with the opaque and crazy way the OP speaks, seems to indicate to myself as well as almost every other respectable poster in the thread as paychologically pathological.
Hence my suggestion the OP seek therapy, not drugs.
But I do not believe you can love another person when they are dating another guy and don't show any romantic interest whatsoever in you! And the obsession with that so-called love, combined with the opaque and crazy way the OP speaks, seems to indicate to myself as well as almost every other respectable poster in the thread as paychologically pathological.
Hence my suggestion the OP seek therapy, not drugs.
dezz
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 15, 2011
- Messages
- 1,662
You know I actaually find myself in a similar situation. I've had a crush on this girl who's way out of my league for around 3 years now. The problem being she had a boyfriend. Eventually they broke up and she started being close to me. It ended in a drunk night of intimacy/making out and such.
Afterwards I was even more in love... Obsessed almost..
You know what happened? She claimed she forgotten everything that happened that night and after a few months she found a new guy. He nailed her after just ONE evening of chatting and is a typical douchebag. She has tried winning my attention since and I fell for it over and over again. Guess I was just attention on the side for her.
The problem with my situation is that she's hanging out with alot of my friends and if I want to stop seeing her my social life basically goes to crap. My love for her slowly turned to hate, then to simply just not caring anymore. And you know what? The instant I gave up I noticed she ain't the girl I fell in love with.
I wasn't in love with her... I was in love with the IDEA of love. Maybe you're just lonely, and you're projecting those feelings onto this one girl thinking you "can't live without her". I know that's the way it wen't for me. You'll notice that once you give up this obsession you will come to the realization that she wasn't all that and that there's alot more AMAZING girls out there.
Afterwards I was even more in love... Obsessed almost..
You know what happened? She claimed she forgotten everything that happened that night and after a few months she found a new guy. He nailed her after just ONE evening of chatting and is a typical douchebag. She has tried winning my attention since and I fell for it over and over again. Guess I was just attention on the side for her.
The problem with my situation is that she's hanging out with alot of my friends and if I want to stop seeing her my social life basically goes to crap. My love for her slowly turned to hate, then to simply just not caring anymore. And you know what? The instant I gave up I noticed she ain't the girl I fell in love with.
I wasn't in love with her... I was in love with the IDEA of love. Maybe you're just lonely, and you're projecting those feelings onto this one girl thinking you "can't live without her". I know that's the way it wen't for me. You'll notice that once you give up this obsession you will come to the realization that she wasn't all that and that there's alot more AMAZING girls out there.
thoughtsUnThought
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Apr 5, 2006
- Messages
- 925
a note of re-assurance....no one is all sparkles when you are together all day everyday. soooo, you really didn't have the opportunity to see her faults to their fullest, if you can get your analytical mind to digest this, perhaps you can see the template of love in a way which doesn't have to involve her. it's really impossible to extrapolate whose 'non-sparkly' qualities are more or less desirable or resonant with you. if you haven't lived with any girl, then honestly you don't understand your own 'darker side' either, so maybe you can quell your anxieties by picturing a potential fight between you two...because those are very real in a relationship.
toxicferret, i understand where you are coming from. i've studied a good bit of psych in particular and can see the potential sociopathic qualities being presented here. i have just grown in the belief that each case is unique and a 'diagnosis' is really just an attempt at looking at one quality or frequency of a given individual and throwing it into a bag with a bunch of others sharing that One quality/frequency. I feel the cumulative 'individual' made up of all the frequencies is like a snow-flake and not completely relative to DSMIV categorization etc.
don't get me wrong, i understand the science behind this method of diagnosis. its about as good as we can get, allowing one 'wiggle room' by permitting certain tendencies of each given 'condition' by requiring an abundance of each conditions symptoms to be present before a true 'diagnosis' can be made. i am just giving this dude the benefit of the doubt, and with any versing in american psych, you should be able to do the same(not to say you were overly aggressive or anything) given that neither of us have given this guy the proper analysis or investigation necessary to truly 'declare' any 'problems'. all we can see is potentially problematic tendencies at this view (the through the comp, looking at a series of words view lol).
he's young anyways...well, as am I. but i think he deserves the benefit of the doubt when it comes to his stability, i mean we're all always growing. young ones have exponential chances for transcending problematic tendencies if they put their intention and will into it. the fact that he has come here and described his situation without fear, and given decently intellectual rebuttals to psychotic accusations, combined with the fact that he obviously seeks to transcend these problems; i think he's got plenty of room to 'adjust' before being condemned to diagnosis.
i do think meditation will work as your figurative 'chill pill'...lol, relax and float away my brother...in the clouds there is no attachment.
toxicferret, i understand where you are coming from. i've studied a good bit of psych in particular and can see the potential sociopathic qualities being presented here. i have just grown in the belief that each case is unique and a 'diagnosis' is really just an attempt at looking at one quality or frequency of a given individual and throwing it into a bag with a bunch of others sharing that One quality/frequency. I feel the cumulative 'individual' made up of all the frequencies is like a snow-flake and not completely relative to DSMIV categorization etc.
don't get me wrong, i understand the science behind this method of diagnosis. its about as good as we can get, allowing one 'wiggle room' by permitting certain tendencies of each given 'condition' by requiring an abundance of each conditions symptoms to be present before a true 'diagnosis' can be made. i am just giving this dude the benefit of the doubt, and with any versing in american psych, you should be able to do the same(not to say you were overly aggressive or anything) given that neither of us have given this guy the proper analysis or investigation necessary to truly 'declare' any 'problems'. all we can see is potentially problematic tendencies at this view (the through the comp, looking at a series of words view lol).
he's young anyways...well, as am I. but i think he deserves the benefit of the doubt when it comes to his stability, i mean we're all always growing. young ones have exponential chances for transcending problematic tendencies if they put their intention and will into it. the fact that he has come here and described his situation without fear, and given decently intellectual rebuttals to psychotic accusations, combined with the fact that he obviously seeks to transcend these problems; i think he's got plenty of room to 'adjust' before being condemned to diagnosis.
i do think meditation will work as your figurative 'chill pill'...lol, relax and float away my brother...in the clouds there is no attachment.
!!4iV4HF9R34g
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Aug 14, 2011
- Messages
- 1,116
Dude, don't listen to them. This was nice. Right here.
That was, too.
Right here.That was, too.
thoughtsUnThought
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Apr 5, 2006
- Messages
- 925
the mind and the emotional field is a twisted and strange place...i feel people who are more 'in-tune' with their subtle aspects of mind and emotion have a better chance at expressing analysis regarding themselves which will tend towards 'questionaly sound'.
what i'm tryin to say is this....you may just have a better grasp of What's goin on in your mind (aspergers could def make this real..but again im not here to diagnose you. nor do i suggest you do so yourself...EVOLVE motherfucker, that's what we're here for, not anxiety regarding the flaws of yesterday. the more you paint the picture of yesterdays troubles the more you see them tomorrow....while to never forget, still no need to make last...). I've climed in an out of some of the murkiest corners of the psyche, through psychedelics as well as meditation and personal evolution...and i can tell ya, there really are some weird tendancies and 'partial thoughts' down there (forget the term for partial thoughts, its a psych term). what seperates the crazies from the normos IMO is the ability (or lackthereof) to know What to express regarding your self-analysis, What to express in regards to given social situation and especially important: How to Behave in Situations. (B=s+d, behavior = situation at hand plus personal disposition)
I don't have any diagnosis, nor problems which lead me to seek such. However, if i were to sit down with some Psychologist and selectively describe the darker areas of mind i've been to...or if i described in detail the mechanics by which my emotions withdrew after love and the successive saddness etc. i'm sure they could find some space for me under their wing lol. IMO that's part of the human experience, we all have intense tangled aspects of mind and emotion...dwelling on these areas, or the inability of our conscious awareness to see-though them is what creates diagnosable conditions. when you go to a psychiatrist or psychologist its mostly-all analytical diagnosis (maybe some people do brain scans for diagnosis, i'm not claiming objectivity, but question/answers are the norm). Abnormal psych was my area of interest, and let me tell ya, the Highest-held views on How/Why schizophrenia functions in the brain is ALL THEORY...i belive the D1 receptor is held as a likely candidate..but this is all studying the brains of dead people. they don't just tell you to pop the hood and check your dopamine levels...WE are all a Unique Combo of Neurochemical variations. i think you need to learn to dance your dance a little better, and again MEDITATION is the best vehicle for this i can suggest.
to harness the power of mind or to be ridden dry by wandering tendencies.
hope this is helpful
what i'm tryin to say is this....you may just have a better grasp of What's goin on in your mind (aspergers could def make this real..but again im not here to diagnose you. nor do i suggest you do so yourself...EVOLVE motherfucker, that's what we're here for, not anxiety regarding the flaws of yesterday. the more you paint the picture of yesterdays troubles the more you see them tomorrow....while to never forget, still no need to make last...). I've climed in an out of some of the murkiest corners of the psyche, through psychedelics as well as meditation and personal evolution...and i can tell ya, there really are some weird tendancies and 'partial thoughts' down there (forget the term for partial thoughts, its a psych term). what seperates the crazies from the normos IMO is the ability (or lackthereof) to know What to express regarding your self-analysis, What to express in regards to given social situation and especially important: How to Behave in Situations. (B=s+d, behavior = situation at hand plus personal disposition)
I don't have any diagnosis, nor problems which lead me to seek such. However, if i were to sit down with some Psychologist and selectively describe the darker areas of mind i've been to...or if i described in detail the mechanics by which my emotions withdrew after love and the successive saddness etc. i'm sure they could find some space for me under their wing lol. IMO that's part of the human experience, we all have intense tangled aspects of mind and emotion...dwelling on these areas, or the inability of our conscious awareness to see-though them is what creates diagnosable conditions. when you go to a psychiatrist or psychologist its mostly-all analytical diagnosis (maybe some people do brain scans for diagnosis, i'm not claiming objectivity, but question/answers are the norm). Abnormal psych was my area of interest, and let me tell ya, the Highest-held views on How/Why schizophrenia functions in the brain is ALL THEORY...i belive the D1 receptor is held as a likely candidate..but this is all studying the brains of dead people. they don't just tell you to pop the hood and check your dopamine levels...WE are all a Unique Combo of Neurochemical variations. i think you need to learn to dance your dance a little better, and again MEDITATION is the best vehicle for this i can suggest.
to harness the power of mind or to be ridden dry by wandering tendencies.
hope this is helpful