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best friend gettin in the way of a relationship

zigzag| dta

zigzag| dta

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 12, 2007
Messages
2,516
ok so i started talking to this girl. at the time she had a boyfriend, but after she and i talked on the phone/texted and went out a few times(nothing physical happened) she broke up with her boyfriend. she and i arent together now, but its kinda in the process of forming a relationship. now my best friend( who is a girl) was kinda apprehensive about me starting a relationship with this girl. (both the girls know eachother, theyre sorority sisters and good friends) and now it seems my friend is flatout doing everything she can to make this relationship not work. its a weird situation because theyre both girls, and theyre both relatively unreasonable at times. now i want to be with the girl, but i wouldnt choose her over my bestfriend. my friend denies everything when i confront her about it.


any advice?
 
I have always thought that when a male and female are friends there is always an underlying attraction from at least one side of the relationship. Do you think maybe your friend has a crush on you?
 
Tough situation.. I'd say "bros" before hoes, honestly. Considering its not even really a relationship yet and you haven't invested anything into it, you have to take into consideration if this relationship pans out that you'd eventually have to cut off your friend (if they couldn't vibe). If your friend is a life long friend, I'd side with her.. assuming she has good reason for the distaste. If its just jealousy well then you've got some other issues you and your friend need to work out.
 
inotocracy said:
Tough situation.. I'd say "bros" before hoes, honestly. Considering its not even really a relationship yet and you haven't invested anything into it, you have to take into consideration if this relationship pans out that you'd eventually have to cut off your friend (if they couldn't vibe). If your friend is a life long friend, I'd side with her.. assuming she has good reason for the distaste. If its just jealousy well then you've got some other issues you and your friend need to work out.
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It's not a Bro's before Hoes situation, it's Hoes before Hoes........ And Yeah youyr 'Best Friend" sounds like she likes you, other wise she should be happy that 2 of her nice friends are hooking up.........;)
 
inotocracy said:
^ That's why I put "bros" in quotes ;)
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You cant compare your Real bro's with any women....... Bros are always there while your girlfriend is out riding somebodys elses dick.......... I'd say go with the relationship, If a female is that jealous over it than she should be with you willing you like her.........
 
I disagree. I've got a life long female friend, and shes always there when I need her. Shes hooked me up with many female friends, rolled many blunts when I was depressed and always watched my back. In fact.. she hooked me up with my current, who I've been with for over a year :)
 
inotocracy said:
I disagree. I've got a life long female friend, and shes always there when I need her. Shes hooked me up with many female friends, rolled many blunts when I was depressed and always watched my back.
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Well, i cant deny your story, iam sure there is a few women who will have your back, But not enough too risky out there these days, thats why iam a Cynical fuck........
 
i guess its because 99% of people I know who have been in relationships HAVE fucked over their partener or Vice Versa, Whether they are together today or not...........
 
^ I agree, true opposite sex friends are very hard to find. But, if you grew up with one and they've always been there they can very much be just as close, if not closer, as the same sex. I look at her as if she was a sister, and I'm sure she views me in the same way (even though we did have a night of drunk sex once, ha, never more than that though).

If the OP has a relationship like I'm describing, I'd listen to the friend's opinion (granted, its merited and isn't just plain old jealousy, and if it is.. well, read my other post).
 
inotocracy said:
^ I agree, true opposite sex friends are very hard to find. But, if you grew up with one and they've always been there they can very much be just as close, if not closer, as the same sex. I look at her as if she was a sister, and I'm sure she views me in the same way (even though we did have a night of drunk sex once, ha, never more than that though).

If the OP has a relationship like I'm describing, I'd listen to the friend's opinion (granted, its merited and isn't just plain old jealousy, and if it is.. well, read my other post).
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Granted it Merited fine, But Jealousy???? That chick must be nuts......
 
^ If jealousy is the problem its a no brainer. The female friend isn't completely platonic and you can't really trust her opinion.
 
A friend getting in the way of your happiness isn't being a good friend. I personally don't invest energy in people who don't want the best for me.

One of my best friends is female..we have know each other since elementary school and have had sex/relationships quite a few times. Right now, we have nothing but support for each others independent relationships. It is rare but possible. btw, we obviously find each other attractive, just adds another dimension to how we relate.
 
Missykins said:
What if the situation were reversed and the OP was the female friend who was being warned by her male friend about some guy?
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Hmmmmm, it all depends if he was Jealous or not............
 
^ Yeah, same rules apply. It all depends on the kind of relationship the friends have. I've seen females who have guy friends who THINK they are just friends, but choose to ignore the obvious feelings the male friend has (who is in the "friend zone").
 
thanks for all the input. i dont think my friend is jealous because she has a crush on me. she and i have been friends for awhile, and i dont think theres any sexual tension between us. maybe when we first started hanging out, but defnitely not now. its more like a brother/sister relationship.

maybe shes jealous because she doesnt want to loose me as a friend?? but im not really sure how that would happen, and my friend is also good friends with the girl that i want to date.

this is a tough situation. im not really the dating type. i had a relationship end badly about a year and a half ago, and since then i havent really had emotional feelings for a girl, just more like getting laid and not having attatchments. these feelings are pretty foreign to me right now. and i really like the girl, and would definitely like a relationship with her.... but i dont want to loose or alienate my best friend
 
MethaContin said:
Well, i cant deny your story, iam sure there is a few women who will have your back, But not enough too risky out there these days, thats why iam a Cynical fuck........
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That's why I only hang out with boys. I fucking hate bitches, I hate them all. :p They only serve to make me work harder to prove that bitches =/= all women.

Life friends come before pussy. </end>
 
Danashae said:
That's why I only hang out with boys. I fucking hate bitches, I hate them all. :p They only serve to make me work harder to prove that bitches =/= all women.

Life friends come before pussy. </end>
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Word to that, i know quite a few women who do the same thing.
 
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