Ventrusii
Bluelighter
I am fucking out of my mind.
I fucked with benzos without thinking much of the consequences. Bad move. I realized it soon, thankfully enough, 2 months in and 200mg of Etizolam in. I currently am 6 days into cold turkey (with twice having such bad insomnia that I took a very small dose to help me get to sleep).
Right now, specifically, I'm anxiety-full out of my mind and I'm very startle-able, like one would be on a deliriant. Every noise rouses me and this is 100% not normal, usually I'm not rouse-able or scare-able at all. I made the mistake of drinking a lot of coffee without thought, I know, I know, fucking stupid of me.
A problem that's even bigger, though, is that on Wednesday I have a cardiologist appointment in which I'm bicycling on a stationary bike to test my endurance and oxygen consumption (or something of that nature) to see if my heart is beyond surgery threshold due to fitness or my heart problem. I don't know what to do in respect to benzos on that day, since I don't know exactly where my tolerance is, so I don't know what will make me exactly "normal".
Do I take a small-ish(?) dose and hope that it doesn't adversely affect my performance to make it seem like I need surgery when I really do, or do I not take it and possibly throw off the testing somehow in the opposite manner? I would normally take around 2-3mg Etiz every dose maybe every 2-3 days, if that helps.
I fucked with benzos without thinking much of the consequences. Bad move. I realized it soon, thankfully enough, 2 months in and 200mg of Etizolam in. I currently am 6 days into cold turkey (with twice having such bad insomnia that I took a very small dose to help me get to sleep).
Right now, specifically, I'm anxiety-full out of my mind and I'm very startle-able, like one would be on a deliriant. Every noise rouses me and this is 100% not normal, usually I'm not rouse-able or scare-able at all. I made the mistake of drinking a lot of coffee without thought, I know, I know, fucking stupid of me.
A problem that's even bigger, though, is that on Wednesday I have a cardiologist appointment in which I'm bicycling on a stationary bike to test my endurance and oxygen consumption (or something of that nature) to see if my heart is beyond surgery threshold due to fitness or my heart problem. I don't know what to do in respect to benzos on that day, since I don't know exactly where my tolerance is, so I don't know what will make me exactly "normal".
Do I take a small-ish(?) dose and hope that it doesn't adversely affect my performance to make it seem like I need surgery when I really do, or do I not take it and possibly throw off the testing somehow in the opposite manner? I would normally take around 2-3mg Etiz every dose maybe every 2-3 days, if that helps.
