Benzos benzo withdrawal

[Madcap86]

So im in month 14 of benzo hell mostly do to my own fault i never tapered off. I was taking 10 mg went do to 5 mg for a while then just stopped taking them all together. Lets just say this year has been far far far from fun. Also during my benzo use i was doing a lot of acid had a withdrawal happen when i was tripping one time. My head is such a mess. My memory is so shot. I feel like everyday and everything i do always feels brand new like i just started life the minute i woke up, and i get crazy anxiety, panic attacks, crazy paranoia (i get paranoia like everything and everyone is after me, dizziness, off balance, my muscle hurt there constantly tight, shaky, the list could go on. all the digestive problems cleared up a few months back these things still remain. I always think something is wrong with me that is not related to the the benzo thing, plus i get crazy dayshavoo all the time witch usually followed by a panic attack. Sometimes i think i am dead reliving memories of my life. Sometimes i feel like nothin is wrong with me this is all in my head and i cant let it go. I have to do everything a certain way or ill get anxiety and freak out. I am so tired of this I need to brake this spell. Ill admit things have gotten better i barley left my bed during the first 4 months of it. I guess im mostly writing this becasue i am frustrated and my friends and family are sick of hearing it. Can anyone give me some advise. I am so tired of living in fear. i feel like i am still back at day one with this hole thing. Maybe in just nuts. i dont no can anyone help me.

 

[burn out]

Benzo withdrawal is one of the worst things that can happen to a person, so don't feel like you are alone in struggling with this. A lot of us here in Other Drugs have gone through it and it has the potential to be by far the most difficult experience of a person's life. The good news is that it does get better. Just keep hanging in there, and you will eventually begin to notice improvements and gradually you will begin to get your life back. When I was where you are, in month 14, I hadn't even begun to notice the slightest improvements yet. It was absolute hell. It requires so much patience and perseverance to make it through. . Trust that things will improve and that it's worth it and never give up. Trust in God and pray for healing.

Feel free to ask me any questions you may have. I am not completely healed yet myself, but I have turned the corner from being in hell all the time to beginning to find joy in life again.

 

[Trigeminal]

Unfortunately, what you're experiencing is pretty normal for benzo withdrawal. Literally the only cure is time. At 14 months off you are already through the worst of it, the vast majority of people are healed within 2 years. So keep sticking it out however you have to, you'll most likely be healed by this time next year.

 

[DaftPunkFan]

I'm pretty much in the same hell as you're in, except I'm actually tapering
I'm down to 4mg Liquid Valium a day, and yeah I feel super spaced out and really just not feeling too good most of the time.

Sorry I don't have any advice for you lol, just wanted to say you're not alone.

 

[tricomb]

Definitely not alone. I'm in the same boat, I'm almost a year off xanax, to which I had an almost decade long addiction at high doses.

I'm still living with benzo PAWS, you're not alone!

 

[DaftPunkFan]

When I was where you are, in month 14, I hadn't even begun to notice the slightest improvements yet. It was absolute hell. It requires so much patience and perseverance to make it through.

Feel free to ask me any questions you may have. I am not completely healed yet myself, but I have turned the corner from being in hell all the time to beginning to find joy in life again.

Wait... when you were in month 14 of your taper, or 14 months after you completely stopped benzos?!
I hope you're talking about during tapering, because I can't imagine feeling like this that long AFTER I'm done tapering. My God

 

[tricomb]

I'm still dealing with PAWS about a year after completely stopping benzos.

 

[DaftPunkFan]

I'm still dealing with PAWS about a year after completely stopping benzos.

Wow, that just made me incredibly depressed. Thanks for sharing though.
I never really took huge doses regularly though (1-2mg Xanax when I abused them), would that make a difference?
Also could you describe PAWS a little bit? Do you just feel a little more anxious than usual until it passes, or is it just as bad as tapering?
Damn I hate this stuff...

 

[tricomb]

I'm sure that you'll be much better off than me, I was taking 10-30mg xanax daily for over 5 years.

I have PAWS that affect my appetite, rebound anxiety/insomnia, unable to find pleasure in things I once loved, etc. During the first months I was experiencing psychotic symptoms. No fun!

 

[qwe]

i'm not even quitting, but i get paradoxical symptoms after hitting the brick wall of tolerance, and i get this paranoid senile shit. the farthest i went without benzos was 1month, due to family thinking that a person can/should "just quit" this medicine (many people around here think taking any pills for absolutely any reason is an unnecessary crutch). nobody should have to go through pure fear like that. i damaged my brain by attempting to quit.

imho the only way off of these meds, without turning the brain to mush, is a depressing 10 year or longer taper, to go at it so slow that the brain can adjust.

the healthcare system disagrees. technically, 2 weeks off benzos and you're good to go. during my attempt at quitting, i stopped by the hospital at a month in, because i needed some meds for panic and a friend recommended it (BZ w/d can put you in a hyper-suggestible state. in hindsight it was a horrible idea).

they tried to give me an anti-nauseant (zofran), after i complained of a million symptoms except for nausea. they tried giving me clonidine, but i already had clonidine at home and it only made me feel worse during that state. after refusing those two meds, they sent in an addiction specialist and after asking my drug history, told me the only way i would get any medication was if i accepted in-patient treatment. i was labelled an addict seeking a high.

i'm a patient seeking to alleviate anxiety, and i haven't abused my clonazepam. fuck the healthcare system.

 

[tricomb]

I agree that getting off benzos is a bitch, and that quitting cold turkey especially against your will can cause lasting psychological damage, but I highly disagree with your statement about taking 10 years to taper off benzos.

 

[qwe]

^ if you're doing fine so far, i think you're over worrying (a symptom of benzo tapering lol). how far benzo withdrawal goes depends on what kinds of mental illness you're genetically predisposed to, and what kind of environment you're doing it i assume.

 

[DaftPunkFan]

Can anybody give me an educated guess as to how bad it's going to be this time/whether I'm going to suffer at all? I'm dropping down to 2.5mg tomorrow, staying on it a week, and then stopping. Considering I've only been on a low-ish dose of diazepam for 6 weeks now I shouldn't be in too much trouble, right? Help please...?

Dropping 2.5mg Valium from 5mg? Yikes!
If you can do it, then go for it, but I've been tapering off a Xanax addiction at your dose (though for much longer), starting at 10mg Valium, and I've been making 0.5mg cuts a month.

Right now I'm at 4mg and I can't imagine cutting that in half, but then again I was on Xanax for a few years, so who knows. Even at the 2.5mg mark I'd say start cutting 0.5mg a week or even every 2 weeks. That would make it a much smoother ride, but if you feel like you can just stop at that dose, I guess go for it.

 

[burn out]

Wait... when you were in month 14 of your taper, or 14 months after you completely stopped benzos?!
I hope you're talking about during tapering, because I can't imagine feeling like this that long AFTER I'm done tapering. My God

Fourteen months after completely stopping benzos. I only tapered for six months. Then, it took two years post taper before I began to notice even the slightest improvements. The taper itself was bad, but it was nothing compared to how bad I felt after I came off that last bit of benzo. That's when the real pain began. Those first two years were utter hell on earth, during which I thought of suicide every ten minutes. My brain became very disabled. It was difficult for me to read and I could not follow the plot of a television show. My memory was so bad I had to carry a little pad of paper with me every where to remind me what I was doing. I had so many horrific symptoms, it was beyond my worst nightmare. I did not think it was possible to suffer that much. Not to mention, all the horror stories I read on the internet about people not getting better terrified me. Thankfully, I was not one of the people who doesn't get better. It took a long time, but I would say I am more than 50 healed right now as I approach thrree years off benzos. I expect it to take another 3 years before I am 100% healed.

I think people should state what benzos they were taking, how long for, and at what dosage. Also whether they tapered/how, and how long WDs lasted for.

I was taking xanax. I took it for a year and a half at ~4 mg per day. I gradually tapered over a period of six months and the really bad part of the withdrawal lasted about 26 months. Now in month 32, I am much better, although still in pain every day. But I take joy in life now. I am full of gratitude for having survived this ordeal and I thank God every day for the second chance at life he has provided me with.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

Burnout: Thanks for posting this.

I am very thankful never to have been addicted to benzodiazepines.

 

[tricomb]

For almost a decade I was on between 10-30mg xanax per day minimum, triple digit dosing was not uncommon. Also, 30mg temazepam at night.

Nowadays, I only take benzos occasionally. I hardly ever medicate for anxiety anymore, if I'm taking a benzo it's usually for insomnia, for which I like triazolam if I do not have much time to sleep, and temazepam if I can dedicate 8 hours to sleeping.