being happy and content

[rangrz]

why does being happy, content and not freaked the fuck out over everything make so many people upset and/or mad?

really, why do people seem to seek out sorrow depression anxiety and fail and then get mad when I dont go along with it and just stay happy and cool.

 

[Cyc]

This is a really good topic.

I've noticed this too. Personally, I find when I'm not at peace with myself, I unconsciously seek to bring down those around me. It's a nasty compulsion and one we should all be conscious of.

Conversely, when I'm happy I bring that to others as well.

 

[MynameisnotDeja]

A lot of people feed off negativity, and attract it to themselves. I know, I used to be this way before I figured a lot of shit out and turned my life around in a major way.

People who are chronically unhappy keep themselves that way, whether they realize it or not. And they try and drag others down with them because it creates more drama they can feed on.

I'll loosely quote one of my favorite movies, "People dont want to be happy. They want to be unhappy to confirm that they're depressed. If they were HAPPY, they would actually have to go out into the world and live.. which can be depressing."

Sums it up for me. People ENJOY bitching and complaining. I know many, many people who are this way.

 

[n3ophy7e]

Moving to P&S for a more thorough response.

Mods, feel free to move to SLR or back to SO

 

[LivingInTheMoment]

It depends on the occassion though. If you are happy and up in the right situation is being healthy, but if you act high and intense or too up when the situation requires sincerity, or something else, then it is viewed not as happy but out of wack with the situation in hand, or if it is too much over the top it can tire others.
Not that there is no negativity around, but the right time for everything or one can be viewed as insencere if out of place!

 

[L O V E L I F E]

As our greatest president ever, once wisely opined:

"Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."

 

[Changed]

I hadn't really though about this, but I agree.

If I set down to meditate and come out of my room with a smile on my face that lasts for a few hours, I'm treated as if there is something amiss with me.

Conversely, the longest-lasting conversations my mother and father have are their daily sessions of bitching after work. Then, when they are done with that, my mom calls her co-worker friends and bitches with them.

Strange.

 

[rangrz]

I mean even in the mundane things...I;m happy if I'm walking in the rain and getting wet, it doesnt bring me down.

But it will take someone else down, and they'll be upset that I'm happy.

I know its all your own choice, but why do people choose to be upset and sad, instead of happy?

 

[mr_p]

I don't think this is a fixed rule ...

there's been heaps of times when a friends joy and happiness has lifted me up and also when I've been feeling really grounded and at peace and this has flowed onto another...

 

[mr_p]

I don't think this is a fixed rule ...

there's been heaps of times when a friends joy and happiness has lifted me up and also when I've been feeling really grounded and at peace and this has flowed onto another...

 

[Bob Loblaw]

"misery loves company"
If I'm having a shitty day and someone is absolutely elated over something (think pissed off Homer Simpson and Ned Flanders) it makes me more upset that they are in such a good mood while life is fucking me over. It's something I should work on for sure .

 

[Jamshyd]

A lot of people feed off negativity, and attract it to themselves. I know, I used to be this way before I figured a lot of shit out and turned my life around in a major way.

People who are chronically unhappy keep themselves that way, whether they realize it or not. And they try and drag others down with them because it creates more drama they can feed on.

I'll loosely quote one of my favorite movies, "People dont want to be happy. They want to be unhappy to confirm that they're depressed. If they were HAPPY, they would actually have to go out into the world and live.. which can be depressing."

Sums it up for me. People ENJOY bitching and complaining. I know many, many people who are this way.

I totally disagree.

As our greatest president ever, once wisely opined:

"Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."

I totally disagree.

====

Pain is a reality.

It is easy for happy-go-lucky people to imagine that those less fortunate than they are are being that way just because they "decide" to be it.

This is forgetfulness.

By assuming that miserable people are that way because they "want" to, you are simply forgetting the times when you once felt pain.

The fact is that life has more suffering than it has happiness. If you think otherwise, then quite frankly I can only call you naiive.

This doesn't mean that we should be miserable all the time. It means that we should cherish the moments of no-pain, and never forget where we once were, so that we can empathise with those less fortunate (and be ready for the next time we feel pain - which is inevitable).

 

[LivingInTheMoment]

^great post!

 

[L O V E L I F E]

I totally disagree.

====

Pain is a reality.

It is easy for happy-go-lucky people to imagine that those less fortunate than they are are being that way just because they "decide" to be it.

This is forgetfulness.

By assuming that miserable people are that way because they "want" to, you are simply forgetting the times when you once felt pain.

The fact is that life has more suffering than it has happiness. If you think otherwise, then quite frankly I can only call you naiive.

This doesn't mean that we should be miserable all the time. It means that we should cherish the moments of no-pain, and never forget where we once were, so that we can empathise with those less fortunate (and be ready for the next time we feel pain - which is inevitable).

How the fuck do you think that all of the MILLIONS of Jews who survived the Holocaust, and then proceeded to continue, not only to LIVE, but to FLOURISH, got through those pretty torturous years?

By being strong.

By being positive.

By acting as a team.

I wasn't there myself, but I've heard too way too many stories from people in my family (whose words I trust with my life), JUST HOW MANY JEWS WHO THOUGHT THEY WERE ON THE BRINK OF HAVING THEIR ENTIRE FAMILIES - THEIR ENTIRE RACE - ERADICATED FOREVER - persevered and got through that pretty nasty little ordeal, and that they got through it by strength, community and will AND BY MAINTAINING A POSITIVE ATTITUDE.

Abe Lincoln knew very much what it felt like to feel extreme emotional pain - so do I - so do most of us - and he made that beautiful quotation ANYWAY.

 

[MynameisnotDeja]

Pain is a reality.

It is easy for happy-go-lucky people to imagine that those less fortunate than they are are being that way just because they "decide" to be it.

This is forgetfulness.

By assuming that miserable people are that way because they "want" to, you are simply forgetting the times when you once felt pain.

The fact is that life has more suffering than it has happiness. If you think otherwise, then quite frankly I can only call you naiive.

This doesn't mean that we should be miserable all the time. It means that we should cherish the moments of no-pain, and never forget where we once were, so that we can empathise with those less fortunate (and be ready for the next time we feel pain - which is inevitable).

Pain is totally a reality. I never said otherwise. Where I would disagree is the idea that pain and suffering is somehow = to unhappiness. It's not what happens to you, it's how you react to it that determines your own right to happiness. We all have that right. Most people don't realize that they have power over it.

I can only speak for myself but I am not naeive. have been through some majorly FUCKED Up shit in my life. Majorly fucked up. I KNOW pain, I promise you, and I have not forgotten the pain I have been through in my life. It took me 25 years to learn that happiness was a choice and I could take control over my life. The first 25 years of my life were spent in agony. And I wouldn't say starting my life out being sexually molested as a toddler would make me that fortunate, although I definitely admit some have it MUCH MUCH worse than I ever did.

Pain is not the opposite of happiness. A lot of people think happiness is the same thing as pleasure and it's not. Real happiness is seeing the beauty in life, the good and the bad included. Everyone gets hurt, everyone gets down, everyone gets upset sometimes. But real happiness is a feeling of rightness and trust in life that exists through the tears and through the pain. It's faith. It comes from within and can't be effected by external things.

Negative people DO choose to be negative. You can be dealt the worst cards ever in life and still choose to thrive and be happy.

 

[jam uh weezy]

This topic is very broad, and the first question severely contradicts itself. What do you mean by people 'seeking out sorrow and depression.'? I highly doubt anyone does that intentionally. Why do they get mad when you don't go along with what?

I mean even in the mundane things...I;m happy if I'm walking in the rain and getting wet, it doesnt bring me down.

But it will take someone else down, and they'll be upset that I'm happy.

Possibly due to confusion as to why you'd be happy, and frustration that they can't shift their perspective in a similar way. walking in the rain is fun.

I know its all your own choice, but why do people choose to be upset and sad, instead of happy?

People don't wake up and think to themselves, "I'm going to be sad today." People are sad because they are unsatisfied with something, or many things about their life. Maybe they don't know what specifically, or what the cause is, and that might give an outsider looking in the impression that a sad person is consciously making an effort towards sadness, when really it is probably unconscious.
Maybe they are conscious of why they are sad, but they lack the effort, motivation, or dedication to make the necessary changes in life. So they continue with the easier, but less fulfilling option. I couldn't tell you why anybody would want to do that. I'll be we all do in some way.

Not everyone is as lucky as you or I. It is possible for outwards circumstances to outmatch the human will.

 

[MynameisnotDeja]

This topic is very broad, and the first question severely contradicts itself. What do you mean by people 'seeking out sorrow and depression.'? I highly doubt anyone does that intentionally. Why do they get mad when you don't go along with what?

Yes they do. I promise they do. I was one of them for a looooong time. They just aren't consciously aware that they are doing it. They think they want to be happy, but their subconscious is saying something far different. And it's our thoughts that create our life, and subconsious thoughts have a LOT of power. Becoming self aware is the answer for this.

Possibly due to confusion as to why you'd be happy, and frustration that they can't shift their perspective in a similar way.

Exactly. They resent you for having what they deep down inside feel they don't deserve.

Not everyone is as lucky as you or I. It is possible for outwards circumstances to outmatch the human will.

It's not about luck. It's that people don't have the realization that they DO have the power to CHOOSE their own happiness and the direction of their lives (*and no they can't always change certain physical circumstances of their lives right away, but they can choose the general direction*). People like this don't have faith, in themselves or in life.

 

[LivingInTheMoment]

I mean even in the mundane things...I;m happy if I'm walking in the rain and getting wet, it doesnt bring me down.

But it will take someone else down, and they'll be upset that I'm happy.

I know its all your own choice, but why do people choose to be upset and sad, instead of happy?

Inner discontent!!! Not having found the way of being happy even with the smallest of things!
Intellectualization has replaced emotional intelligence where one finds content in the beauty
of things....such as strolling in the rain!!
One is disconnected from senses where they externalize their discontent as if it is the wet day or the season that makes them feel gloomy rather then enjoy each season or day for its own merit. They don't know the secret of what keeps you being gay (happy) and enjoying the moment while they struggle to keep their mood up. (Not everyone is like that though)

 

[jam uh weezy]

Yes they do. I promise they do. I was one of them for a looooong time. They just aren't consciously aware that they are doing it. They think they want to be happy, but their subconscious is saying something far different. And it's our thoughts that create our life, and subconsious thoughts have a LOT of power. Becoming self aware is the answer for this.

I was trying to say this exact thing, that they simply aren't aware of what they are doing to themselves.

It's not about luck. It's that people don't have the realization that they DO have the power to CHOOSE their own happiness and the direction of their lives (*and no they can't always change certain physical circumstances of their lives right away, but they can choose the general direction*). People like this don't have faith, in themselves or in life.

I had people in certain third-world areas in mind. The outcome of a humans life is largely dependent on the circumstances it was raised in, much like a plant. If someone grows up malnourished, unloved, in a negative environment, etc....I think the chances are that they're mind may not be able to function in a healthy enough way to realize they have the potential manifest their own destiny, most of their time is devoted to satisfying more primal needs.
Or maybe they do and they just lack or can't gather the needed resources to jump-start their ideas...

 

[L O V E L I F E]

People like this don't have faith, in themselves or in life.

"If I have lost confidence in myself, I have the whole universe against me."

-- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)