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Beginner trying NA Meetings….

C

crsmclaren

Greenlighter
Joined
Apr 12, 2015
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So any advice?


I am going to try my first ever meeting this week, due to locations I unfortunately cant get to one until either Tuesday(2 days away) or Wednesday(3 days away).

I figured it would be good for me to just get out, its something I can do, like I have something planned which is exciting I guess and if I dont like it I figure I can just walk out and find a different one.


Thanks for the help
 
I just came back from my first-ever NA meeting. It was kinda awkward and a little intimidating (I wrote about it over on the April getting sober thread), but basically it was a positive experience. I'm planning to go back tomorrow at least :\
 
neversickanymore said:
-If available try out as many dif meetings as possible. They aren't all the same.

-Come early and stay after.

-Participate
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All of these are great, especially the "come early, stay after" I find it really helps to make small talk beforehand to get to know people, feel more comfortable, and maybe get some peoples' numbers afterwards for support once you feel situated enough with a group to call your "home".

There are many different people that go to each group too, so if one group makes you feel out of place, that doesn't mean they all will! I only feel comfortable at one group in my whole city (i live in a small city mind you but either way)... so yes, like nsa said, check out as many groups as you can, get a feel for them :)

Also, if you are not religious, and find the "higher power" "God" concept to be a little overwhelming at first (it was for me... it seemed a little too 'churchy' when i first started but to each their own) just keep in mind GOD = Good Orderly Direction.... and a higher power can be anything from music to nature, to sports. It's all your own consciousness when it comes down to it.

I try to keep an open mind as much as possible when I go into my NA meetings, because everybody comes from a different background and everyone has different beliefs. No one is wrong in their beliefs and everyone is fighting their own battle. We are here to help eachother get and stay clean, we all share the same illness so it's easy to relate to one another. I overall think the idea of NA is great. It's not for everyone, but it definitely helps get one's life in order!
 
Verri (and others),
I know you mentioned that although you're quitting opiates, you don't plan on quitting weed. At this point I'm in the same boat. But am I right that NA dogma goes against this? i.e. The Program demands that you quit *all* drugs, right?

If I'm right about that, how have folks who attend meetings dealt with a situation like this? Do I tell people that I'm still smoking weed? Do I keep it to myself?

If it comes down to brass tacks, I suppose I'm willing to *consider* giving up all drugs. But for now, I'm pretty sure that pot helps me get through the heroin cravings, so I'm not eager to chuck it.

Any advice?
 
Yes, you are supposed to practice, "complete abstinence from all mind or mood altering substances." Although many drug addicts disagree, marijuana is a drug.

And while your HP can, technically, be "music" or "nature" or "good orderly direction" or "the doorknob in this room," that goes against every intention of the program. Are you going to pray--which is required by I forget and don't care which step--to any one of those with any kind of sincerity? Sorry, but that is absurd.

Face it, AA/NA is all about (1) quitting using ALL drugs FOREVER by (2) surrendering to God, going to meetings, working the steps after getting a sponsor, and praying a lot for a miracle to help your out of control drug and/or alcohol addiction. Bill Wilson even seriously considered turning the program over to the Catholic church tradition. You are simply fooling yourself about the whole, turn your life around and repent nature of the program if you remove God from the equation.
 
Dresden said:
Yes, you are supposed to practice, "complete abstinence from all mind or mood altering substances." Although many drug addicts disagree, marijuana is a drug.

And while your HP can, technically, be "music" or "nature" or "good orderly direction" or "the doorknob in this room," that goes against every intention of the program. Are you going to pray--which is required by I forget and don't care which step--to any one of those with any kind of sincerity? Sorry, but that is absurd.

Face it, AA/NA is all about (1) quitting using ALL drugs FOREVER by (2) surrendering to God, working the steps after getting a sponsor, and praying a lot for a miracle to help your out of control drug and/or alcohol addiction. Bill Wilson even seriously considered turning the program over to the Catholic church tradition. You are simply fooling yourself about the whole, turn your life around and repent nature of the program if you remove God from the equation.
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I know plenty of atheists that do not pray at all, it is not "required" by any stretch.

Bill W wouldn't have been able to turn AA over to any church because all groups are independent. There isn't a central body in the AA or NA that would be able to make that decision.

"Face it, AA/NA is all about (1) quitting using ALL drugs FOREVER by (2) surrendering to God"

Complete abstinence yes, but you can show up high as fuck if you want. Nobody is turned away.

"surrounding to God" is an option (though it can be a God if you want, its up to you). You do surrender your life up to the care of God (or HP) however you understand it. It can be music, Good Orderly Direction, Nature, etc etc etc

All it has to be is something greater then you. Many people use "the group" for example. Its difficult to stay clean by yourself, but its easier with the group. Its a power greater then yourself.

Lets not turn this into the usual debate/12 step bashing. There are other threads to debate this subject.

I am powerless over drugs and alcohol, but when I admit that I am powerful in so many other aspects of my life. The program works for me!

I used to think that AA/NA was going to try to "trick" me into becoming religious or something like that. That is a very common thought apparently. But that hasn't happened to me yet and I am on the 9th step.
 
Thanks for the replies. I'm an atheist but am not especially hung up about the religious angle in NA/AA. Phactor's point that you can show up high as fuck came up at my meeting yesterday, where they basically said the same thing.
I think I'm starting to make my way through this particular thicket... short answer seems to be that there is no short answer. An atheist dopesmoker sitting in a room full of clean believers??? well, when I was/am using, I've certainly squared gnarlier contradictions than that. My sense so far is that it's up to each person to come to terms with the conflicts that he or she brings to the meeting in a way that works.
@Dresden, if you find a strategy for staying clean that doesn't involve any moral or intellectual ambiguity, I'm all ears.
 
simco said:
Thanks for the replies. I'm an atheist but am not especially hung up about the religious angle in NA/AA. Phactor's point that you can show up high as fuck came up at my meeting yesterday, where they basically said the same thing.
I think I'm starting to make my way through this particular thicket... short answer seems to be that there is no short answer. An atheist dopesmoker sitting in a room full of clean believers??? well, when I was/am using, I've certainly squared gnarlier contradictions than that. My sense so far is that it's up to each person to come to terms with the conflicts that he or she brings to the meeting in a way that works.
@Dresden, if you find a strategy for staying clean that doesn't involve any moral or intellectual ambiguity, I'm all ears.
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I jus wanted to say that I went to my first 2 meetings ever two weeks ago.... The very first meeting I went to was awesome! Everyone there was practically my age. I felt pretty comfortable and I got to share alil of my story. That was the very first time I shared my story out loud. It made it very real. Now the second meeting I went to, I didn't like as much bc there were a lot of older ppl there with years of clean time. I felt like I couldn't relate that much bc they were much farther along.

I do wanna go to more meetings, but I'm using again and I def wanna go as soon as I stop which will be happening very soon
 
hey, love88.
i sound like an NA true believer (like you i only have two meetings under my belt, so i'm definitely NOT in the tribe full-on). but i'll just mention a reminder: you don't need to be clean to go to meetings. you can show up completely fucked up and it's still legit. all i'm saying is, when you're ready: go.

good luck,
-Sim
 
love88 said:
I jus wanted to say that I went to my first 2 meetings ever two weeks ago.... The very first meeting I went to was awesome! Everyone there was practically my age. I felt pretty comfortable and I got to share alil of my story. That was the very first time I shared my story out loud. It made it very real. Now the second meeting I went to, I didn't like as much bc there were a lot of older ppl there with years of clean time. I felt like I couldn't relate that much bc they were much farther along.

I do wanna go to more meetings, but I'm using again and I def wanna go as soon as I stop which will be happening very soon
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You can still go! Also, those old timers with lots of years are the people to listen to and they will also tell you that they can very much relate to you. Don't get me wrong, I tend to hangout with people my age and stuff in NA, but my sponsor has 30 years clean.
 
There is a chapter in the Big Book of AA called, "Message to the Agnostic." I don't remember what it says, but you should read it if you want to know more about how that subject ties into AA/NA. Sorry, I shouldn't bash on the program, as it helps some--but not the majority--of people who try it. Also, a lot of people make a lot of friends there.

As for praying not being a requirement for working all 12 steps, I have to respectfully disagree. One of the steps (8 maybe?) says, "We turned our life and will over to the care of a loving God as we understood Him, praying only for the knowledge of His will for our lives and the power to carry that out."

As for smoking pot, I suspect a lot of people in NA and sometimes AA still do that because they don't consider it a drug, which is partially correct as marijuana smoke contains no alkaloids (drugs with a nitrogen atom). It would be best not to mention it to anyone there, though, unless you really want to get 100% clean--an often unrealistic and maddening goal for most drug addicts. Being "clean" is a relative concept and is up to you to decide for it means for you and your life.

Hell, Bill Wilson--the founder of AA--even took tons of LSD in a quest for "spiritual awakenings." He ended up delving deeply into the occult, supposedly communicating with dead people and such. He did not publicize that fact, however.
 
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Dresden said:
Hell, Bill Wilson--the founder of AA--even took tons of LSD in a quest for "spiritual awakenings." He ended up delving deeply into the occult, supposedly communicating with dead people and such. He did not publicize that fact, however.
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that's some funny shit.
 
Dresden said:
There is a chapter in the Big Book of AA called, "Message to the Agnostic." I don't remember what it says, but you should read it if you want to know more about how that subject ties into AA/NA. Sorry, I shouldn't bash on the program, as it helps some--but not the majority--of people who try it. Also, a lot of people make a lot of friends there.

As for praying not being a requirement for working all 12 steps, I have to respectfully disagree. One of the steps (8 maybe?) says, "We turned our life and will over to the care of a loving God as we understood Him, praying only for the knowledge of His will for our lives and the power to carry that out."
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I do NA so I don't read AA literature that much. The Big Book is really dated and actually "Message to the Agnostic" was very controversial even at the time. Hell there is a chapter called "To the Wives" or something like that. Yes, Bill W used LSD.. I have no idea about the occult stuff but I don't really care about that because it doesn't impact me.

You are referencing the third step, but are reading way too much into the word "prayer". A "prayer" can just be an earnest hope. Lots of my atheist friends in NA say there form of prayer is "trying to see the positive in the situation". Its basically "radical acceptance".


And no, a lot of people in NA do not smoke marijuana. It makes it very clear that marijuana is a drug in the literature. Yes, being clean is up to you to decide (people in NA will agree with that). NA is a support that helps you achieve this. The fact that it is anonymous makes it almost impossible to make blanket generalizations like "it doesn't work for most people" or "it works well for everyone" anything more then just people spouting off. NA makes it very clear they are not the only method of recovery.
 
Go into everything with an open mind, an open heart. Take what makes sense to you and let the rest fall to the side without judging its usefulness to others. This is true for NA/AA and everything else. We spend so much time arguing about the worth of systems when any system is only as useful as the individual using it deems it to be. I think that any group of people sharing the experience of addiction and gathering together to support each other (as in these forums) is a great thing. Sometimes groups become dominated by dogma and people come second. Time to find a new group, that's all.<3
 
herbavore said:
Go into everything with an open mind, an open heart. Take what makes sense to you and let the rest fall to the side without judging its usefulness to others. This is true for NA/AA and everything else. We spend so much time arguing about the worth of systems when any system is only as useful as the individual using it deems it to be. I think that any group of people sharing the experience of addiction and gathering together to support each other (as in these forums) is a great thing. Sometimes groups become dominated by dogma and people come second. Time to find a new group, that's all.<3
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Jus wanted to say that I have been goin to meetings lately(2 days clean). I pretty much get 2 or 3 days clean then fuck up. But I must say that goin to some meetings kinda opened me up more... Maybe I can get a week clean, 2 weeks clean?! I'm planning a relapse tomorrow, but I'm actually thinkin not goin through w it... Something I never did! So even if I do cop for a a day or two, I'll go back to the meetings and maybe one day I'll have the strength not to cop for a week, a month, 3 months.... So I think it's helping.

I have been goin all over and its def DIFFERENT in each group. U really have to find a home group that fits U! They help teach u the tools to help beat addiction or at least put it on the back burner.

So tomorrow.... To cop or not. I'm not gonna deal w it now, jus gonna try focusing getting through work

I took gabapentin, lope, and flexiral and I have NO WD symptoms AT ALL!! And I was doin any where from 6 blues(30mg Oxycodone) to 15 in one day!! I'm at 48hrs
 
Dresden said:
It's actually Step 11.
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Step 3: “We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.”

Step 11: “We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.”
 
Well I relapsed since I pretty much posted this thread, now Im on Day 1 again becuase im broke, worst thing is im so broke I cant even afford to do anything to stay busy, I cant drink, smoke, go out with friends. I cant even go for a drive because I cant afford to put gas in my car until I get paid thursday…which Im hoping can pay my rent and gas beucase I am geting evicted and still owe 1600 in rent, and im afraid she will change the locks on me.
 
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