beer can pipe... [open for critque]

[jameslovesyou]

a soft little chuckle
as smoke seeps from her lips
deep maroon sips...
her sloshing belly hiding a rising need
seven lessons
divided
by a dirty beer can toke
of weed
something in there broke
it wants to feed

but no ones taking blame
or talking about it
at all.

 

[colicolo]

i think your onto something here, but i feel you've gone straight for the clitoris. I think if you expand more this will develop into something great.