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Been Clean off dope for 3 months

:D thanks guys! 60 days today :] woooooooooooooot. sry i havent been active much. Not much to say. Everythings going good! just keeping busy
 
it makes me happy to see someone able to enjoy things they did before drusg again, as i have been thinking a lot about this ltely..... it seems that you are going through this pretty easily, good for you man.
 
I don't know about easily but I think he is taking it with stride and with a lot of ambition and strength. I say this a lot but he is amazing and an inspiration in my eyes.
 
:]]] you guys! <3 Thanks for all the support! It is getting easier over time. The thoughts had subsided. Dont really think about it at all. I just go day by day and take it slow. Just let everything work itself out on its own. Some days are hard, some days are easier than others. But its starting to become fairly easy. Im so grateful i dont have using thoughts anymore. Just dreams here and there but they remind me of how i could be so it doesnt bother me. It scares me away from going back.. Ive been able to have shit stick now instead of reading the same thing 1000x times and not being able to understand it. My memory has came back a tremendous amount! Not the best but i can tell a difference and im happy about that. I can study something for an hour and then have it memorized and ready to take a test the next morning. For instance this map test i had to memorize all this foreign countries in like europe or south america or some shit and ive never done it before and i can memorize it all in an hour and remember it for the next day. Math is starting to make more sense and im not so lost as i was a couple months back. Im not saying im 100% better. who knows if ill ever be back to my full potential. But i know that i am making progress and it makes me feel good :]
 
Anomaly88 said:
:]]] you guys! <3 Thanks for all the support! It is getting easier over time. The thoughts had subsided. Dont really think about it at all. I just go day by day and take it slow. Just let everything work itself out on its own. Some days are hard, some days are easier than others. But its starting to become fairly easy. Im so grateful i dont have using thoughts anymore. Just dreams here and there but they remind me of how i could be so it doesnt bother me. It scares me away from going back.. Ive been able to have shit stick now instead of reading the same thing 1000x times and not being able to understand it. My memory has came back a tremendous amount! Not the best but i can tell a difference and im happy about that. I can study something for an hour and then have it memorized and ready to take a test the next morning. For instance this map test i had to memorize all this foreign countries in like europe or south america or some shit and ive never done it before and i can memorize it all in an hour and remember it for the next day. Math is starting to make more sense and im not so lost as i was a couple months back.
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Watching you grow through your words during this process has been really, really awesome, Anomaly :)

Not only can I relate to nearly everything you're experiencing, having experienced it enough myself, but a lot of it I'm still going through at just over 5 months sober!
But you hit the nail on the head buddy. You appear to be coming to the realization that, at first, the cravings were intense, and it took all of you to white-knuckle through it. But as time passes, it actually does get better!!

Im not saying im 100% better. who knows if ill ever be back to my full potential. But i know that i am making progress and it makes me feel good :]
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Super revelation!!!
Addiction is something that we, as addicts, are going to have to live with for the rest of our lives. For me, that's a reality - as much of a reality as the day's weather or the effects of gravity. But you know what? Who cares? We can't use dope again... big deal. There's an infinitesimal number of equally rewarding things out there for each and every one of us. This may seem like an overly optimistic viewpoint, but after even a mere 5 months clean from opiates and other things, one really begins to evaluate - and appreciate - this amazing world around us.

I am really proud of you!
:D
~ Vaya
 
Haven't read the thread, just this page.

I'm two days clean (of everything) after kicking opiates for the third time and can't wait to be where you are.
 
Thanks vaya and exactly i see life so much differently now and appreciate so many things that i would never have even took the time to look at if i was still using. When i was using i was too caught up in how and when i was gunna get my next fix and the world seemed so small and nothing seemed important but that. But there are so many important things that i was missing out on!!! My eyes are finally opened and i am finally awake to share this beauty that has been given to me. Its a shame i was wasting all this time.... but hey. at least i finally figured it out after a few years of trying on my own. And i realized i cant do it on my own. I finally surrendered and things are going just great! God has a plan for me and when i let go and have god take over then everything seems to fall into place ;)
 
Alright guys... Sorry i havent posted in awhile. Havent had much shit to talk about. Things have been going smooth. No rough patches. No urges. No cravings. No thoughts. The using dreams have started to go away. And now this -_- I dont know really what to think about this. Im not a writer. Im not a poet. haha. Ive never really tried. Ive never really had thoughts hit me like this before. I woke up this morning and before i even had time to think i get these thoughts flood my brain. It was like a small poem. It was very odd... never happened to me before. Its a little bothersome.. its worrying me a bit. I dont know what to think of it. I didnt have a using dream and i had no using thoughts but it just hit me right when i woke up or had time to think. Its kinda discouraging me. But here it is. THE OPIOIDS LODGED INSIDE MY VEIN / THE ONLY WAY TO KILL THE PAIN / MY REMEMBRANCE IS BRUTAL / MY REMEMBRANCE IS BLISS / I WONDER HOW LONG I CAN MANAGE THIS. That all came to me. Then i added it. THE MESSAGE IS HOPE / THE PROMISE IS FREEDOM / THEN WHY DOES MY BRAIN STILL ACT LIKE I NEED THEM
 
hahaha nice one ;) that made me chuckle :D ive been thinking all day what this could mean.. its kinda doubting my recovery is what bugs me but i like how i worded it without actually having to think about it. haha
 
You are so amazing Anom <3 that's all I ever have to say in your thread. I saw you the other day responding in other threads too. It's such an inspiration to see how far you've come. From seeking advice and support to now giving it. So much love to you dood <3.
 
Anomaly88 said:
hahaha nice one ;) that made me chuckle :D ive been thinking all day what this could mean.. its kinda doubting my recovery is what bugs me but i like how i worded it without actually having to think about it. haha
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Its not doubting it bro; the fact is you might get a million miles and a hundred years away from this hell that is opiate addiction...but the fact of the matter is you still are 1 thought, 1 hiccup from being right back where you were, and usually worse off. It really is a progressive disease....its fucked up but its the truth

Its like a scar on your soul that never goes away...you can move on and away from it, but it always remains a part of you
 
thx stardust :DDDD yeah.. i try to give a lil feedback to the people struggling since i was once there. And yeah i guess its always gunna be a part of me. :\ ah well. At least i know better...
 
I wrote another one.. came to me when i was driving home. This one is a lot more cheerful. hahaha. its short like the last one... but idk i dont think i can add anymore. Its perfect the way it is. Let me know what you guys think!!
Everything I knew was blue
I didn't have a clue
About this life I had pursued
It was nothing more than true
I was sick but now i'm new
The boy you once despised
Has life inside his eyes
 
Addiction does not discriminate

It brought me pain and morbid hate

the way I became was nothing great

It was torture and out of control

I was an addict without a soul

careless in this deep,dark hole

with no one by my side

I kept searching for my demise

It brought me to the depths and back

now I am happy with the things that I lack

now that these chains are finally broken

I'm free to live unused and unspoken
 
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