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Prolapstriumph

Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 2, 2003
Messages
161
Location
the vast prairies
So inspiring, having been tread upon,
gracious offense relegates, fascinates me
to the point of thrilling ecstasy.

To bear a cross, expectations of brilliant sorrow,
who knew a knife in the back would emanate compassion,
force hope on sweet sinful agendas,
and a callous hide, to better penetrate tommorow.

Batter these walls, burst forth, sinister misunderstanding,
this newly accepted energy, that I fathomed a parralel,
a means to transcend, which in life or death i will take, immersed by will.

Assumed this most recent grasp on these words, indignant, lost in innocent glee,
by weight and bearing, a fresh means to aspire,
so thank you my dearest, even though this concussive ring is shrill,
thank you my dear, for a lesson in me, enigmatic catalyst to truly being free.

Time and experience harden shells, turn passionate hearts to stone,
however harsh, a shame in the depths, whose need has shattered the floodgates,
open roads to softest pleasure and salted wound acceptance.

i havent dabbled much in poetry, any opinions or criticism welcomed thanks
 
Last edited:
<3

Originally posted by Prolapstriumph
So inspiring, having been tread upon

^Beautiful opening. Strong, and lovely, like the branches of a tree..graceful.

Originally posted by Prolapstriumph
open roads to softest pleasure and salted wound acceptance.

^This was a sublime soft image.

I found this work to be a little uneven..
Peppered with some ill-fitting words. :\
Some of your phrases fitted well, yet the flow wasn't constant.

Definately didn't suck. :)
And I'm no expert..feel free to disregard my opinions / thoughts.
 
^^^ no one is an expert here that is the beauty of this place :)

you work for not even really dabbling in poetry is actually quite excellent, it was a read that defiantely kept me interested to keep reading on.

:)
 
These replies mean alot to me, thanks everyone for some inspiration to pick up a new hobby/release. Well fark me sideways, I really need to find more time to devote to this forum.
 
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