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  • BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards | negrogesic

BDD Social and Info Booth vs 32 - I Stopped Drugs, Only While I'm Asleep.

I'm just hanging out tonight. We got drunk as hell yesterday at a party, which was redneck heaven! Lots of beer, ribs, smoked chicken, and plenty of other food. Listened to live music, watched the kids play in the pool and on a tarp/slip-n-slide and just hung out, good day. Come night time everyone around us shot off fireworks so I enjoyed that, back home they're illegal so you only see a few here and there. They also hold the public show at my old high school and its just awful, I bet less than 1,000 turn out for it. Here they're still going off, I love it xD

Tonight I'm kicking back with 25mg of MXE and some weed. Can't get away with much around here, everyone just knocked out so I'm enjoying my alone time >.>. Going to pass out in a little while. Be good people of BDD social.
 
@HeadphonesNlsd: BEYOND JEALOUS OF YOUR MXE! I only got to try Methoxetamine several x's sold as K (ofc considering the shady hippie kid) other than the price, I wasn't upset at all. I also notice he hooked it the fuck up for no reason. Unlike K, which it if good is pretty clear and clean looking crystalline rocks, it was a different texture more cloudy little, rocky powder with a distinct difference in smell and taste. Duration was much longer and took more to "hole" than usual. Definitely understood why many thought it had mu affinity or whatever, I was opioid dependent at the time (a shitty balance of bupe maintenance and IV heroin mostly, IV morphine when it was around, loved oxymorph and fentanyl too) I did not feel the desire to dose my bupe in the AM as I usually would be in full blown acute WDs. It had a euphoric warmth I loved as well as a social stimulation talking to my pops and with the sweet spot insufflated, sometimes IM'd, I could function while dissociated and GOD I LOVED IT. If it wasn't banned in OH, I'd be addicted. I'd take it over IV dope/coke habit any fucking day, honestly. Although, I could see it messing with your sanity and personality in a detrimental-sense. Ketamine is much more potent, dissociating, psychedelic, and therapeutic IME when used in low doses for depression, which I've lived struggled with all my life and tried countless drugs and treatments. I think dissociatives (the right one and proper dosing regimen) could save me from my heroin addiction. Even if trials may seem as though Im replacing once drug with another....

God these coke shots are making my ass ramble like a dummy. And ofc I missed most of my heroin shot to come down :(
 
Speaking of these things, it's about time I placed an order for some MXE. I fuckin' love me some IV ket, so I'm all tits to try this baby.
 
been a crazy last week or so. ive ran through about 65 bags of dope in the last week or so. thursday was my last bag. i was illing yesterday cuz i got burned for $160. he tried to give us a whole bunch of bullshit and i cussed him out up and down cuz he wouldnt prove it. he said he got jumped and had hospital papers but would'nt send a pic. then said that he would hook it back up but not for me cuz what i said was fucked up. its like no i don't believe you cuz you've burned me to many times. i'm not gonna go into full detail but ill say that its a good thing that i don't have this connect anymore and i deleted him out of my phone.

yesterday i didnt really realize that i was in withdraw. i mean i was sure it was minor yesterday cuz it was sniffles, yawns, watery eyes and my legs hurt horribly. i didnt think the legs thing was a part of w/d like that, anyways, i thought my legs hurt from working so much and always being on my feet but my boy told me im w/d'ing. it hurt so bad from my hip to my toes that i couldnt stand anymore so i told my boss and all she did was take over the grill and let me do random shit but i was still on my feet so that didnt matter. i said something to my friend and coworker who usually helps me out when i need it but it was so busy so i guess she wasnt worried about it or something idk. anyways, she dint pick up the hint to try to say something to my boss. i called 2 other people who coudnt come in, and i called my boss 3 times with no answer. i told my other boss who was on the grill that my legs hurt so bad that im thinking about quitting cuz the amount of stress and the toll it puts on me to work 70 hours a week almost isnt worth the money, but she didnt listen so i clocked out at 7 after being there for only 2 hours and i left in the middle of a really busy rush and the girl who i wanted to help me saw me clock out and leave and called my name but i didnt answer. my other boss called me after i left on the way home not even realizeing i just walked out but just returning my call. i told him what happened and siad he could fire me if he wanted but i couldn't take it anymore. my boss called me that night and asked how i felt and if i was gonna work today lol so now im gonna probaly only work Wednesday-Saturday.

went to work this morning feeling lazy as hell and was shitting, yawning, runny nose, sniffles, and all that shit. me and my boy were supposed to rake bunkers but we were both illing so we just rode around and stayed right behind everyone else and skipped 90% of the bunikers cuz they get raked tommorrow morning anyways. i called this girl that has subs and dope and i was very suprised she answered my hail mary ohone call at 7:30am and said she had sub. i bought 1 and got my boy 1 to split with his bgirl whose illing aswell. im gonna get another strip tonight or tommorrow. ive.

no more w.d for me tho. i did 1mg at 9:30am when i got home from work, about 2mg before work at 5 after a 4 hour nap, and 2mg at 11pm so i can feel nice while im drinking. ive never been so happy to have sub.

im drunk as fuck and this suboxone has me feeling nice. total 360 from yesterday.
 
opiodmaniac said:
honestly forgot you existed and I spend alot of time in the OD too. but otherwise fine just been outta work cgillin lately
Click to expand...

Hey dude, been meaning to get in touch with you!

They're looking for people that know how to dig down here, start you off at like $10 an hour and in 90 days you get dental and everything. Something to keep in mind if you want to move away. I'm thinking about working that job for awhile just to have something to do! :)

Hope things are good back home.

@hangyourhead

MXE is a lot of fun but you do have to watch it, it can drive you mad. :) I have gotten a bit delusional on it more than a few times, usually if I take it too many days in a row. It can have you thinking things like walking to DC (500+ miles from where I was) and writing a grand speech are your purpose in life. Just all sorts of odd things...

I really enjoy MXE but it does has its downsides, I still think it's better for you than a dope habit (speaking as a former head of course) but that's all up to the individual. I wouldn't want nor do I suggest using MXE every day but I have and can see the lure. At least it doesn't leave you in horrible w/d and for me it gets to be too much to take everyday (unlike those lovely nods). I've found it to be somewhat self limiting. Probably not going to order more for awhile considering I'm now in a state that banned it and I am looking at trying 5-meo-mipt and 4-ho-MET sometime soon. Going to try to source some MDMA and go dancing while I'm down here too. ;)

I finally got my glass pipe, caught it on sale at a local headshop. They had them in the back but I talked my way back there with the help of a small purchase of a grinder. Ended up buying two bowls, a huge glass one (party pipe for sure) and a metal one with Kenny from South Park on it (only reason I got the damn thing). This glass pipe was in the $45-$60 price range last time I came down here but I guess with the ban they were trying to get rid of all their stock so I scored it for $20.

Already on my second bag of weed, need a job. :p Good week down south so far though!
 
Hiiiii =P

Been wasted. Smoked thru an o of weed, 25 alprazolams & bunch of opies this wknd. Happy 4th lol.

Imma pull an all nighter. Took 2 mg alprazolam, 30 mg addy xr n lotta weed.

This time I'm smart and have alprazolam and risperidone for the shitty come down in 8-10 hrs lol.
 
maybe there is light at the end of the tunnel. this girl that works with me, is a real good friend, and ive known since i was 16 called me the other night and asked if i was doing pills and i obviously wasnt honest about it. but in the last 2 days ive spilled everything ive done to her from dope to speedballs to grabbing bags in the work parking lot. she was suprised by the extent but had a general idea that i was really heading for trouble.

we had a heat to heart and wrote a couple books to each other via text lol. today and yesterday ive felt no cravin g for opiates, as a matter of fact i told my one coworker that i dont want his oxy on saturday and im not getting 15s on the refill either, or any dope from the girl that has suboxone. i have no desire to do it right now. and im gonna give a real attempt at not doing dope and oxy. ive never had a wave of hope and confidence come over me like this. i feel free for right now, i feel good and i dont know why. yeah i got sub in me and a little tramadol but i felt like this yesterday when i only had a little bit of sub in me.

im gonna try to buy 1-2 8mg strips per week for like the next month, no later then 8/4/13 , which is gonna be 1 month with nothing but sub in me. im gonna do it. i feel good and confident about this. ive never had this feeling in 7 years, nor have i ever had hope like this. i want to even put down the sub in a month, maybe even try to not drink as much. idk whats come over me but i like it.

maybe its the fact that ive been ripped numerous times, am tired of being depressed, being in w/d was a wake up, i couldnt stop, i made my best friend cry cuz she doesnt want to lose me cuz im the only good friend she said shes got. i just cant keep doing this, the guilt eats me up and i want no more parts of it. and if i cant get strips when i get paid then i will not just go eat oxy to feel good. wish me luck guys.

plugged 125 mgs of tramadol and about 0.9 of suboxone. im feeling aight but i know ill be right where i wanna be after i smoke this 1 hitter and a cig.
 
Good on ya! Keep the plan going! I'd suggest you can kick way quicker if you want. Start at 2mg sub and cut yer dose in half every three days or so till you get to .25, the jump after 3 days of that. Worked fairly painlessly for me. Of course, I'm still doing an ope now and again, just not every day...
 
I got a gram of MXE, damn exicted.

It's been near 4 months since the last time I used MXE, and before that was a couple months too. I'm hoping my crazy tolerance has gone down a lot and I can get that nice warm dissociated feeling again.

Damn social has lost it's fast pace. The last page has posts from a while ago.

How's everyone doing ?
 
Good luck smoke!

I'm kind of in the same boat...except I don't have anyone to talk to since no one knows I've relapsed except the people I get stuff from. My tolerance has gotten past the point that I can afford and I need to just stop for awhile. I have something set up for friday but that's mostly to help a friend out, but I'll probably get a roxy or two from the deal. But maybe I'll just keep the cash instead. But between now and then I have no money and any money I get needs to go towards my car payment that is already late. I have plenty of subs but I'm gonna try and use as little as possible just to not get sick. My last attempt at getting back on subs sucked, I was in so much pain even when I wasn't "sick". Hope it goes better this time, I'll be attempting jumping back on subs tomorrow morning.

I feel like such a piece of shit honestly. I wish my family and friends understood relapses are part of the process. But they've all pretty much made it clear they'll disown me if I relapse. I also wish I could smoke weed, it really helps with the pain and stuff, helps me eat and sleep too. But I can't drop dirty at my sub doctor. Ugh. I've also thought about going on methadone but I don't see a way for that to be finanically feasible. I wish I could just get the done scripted for a month like I do with my subs but I think my only option is the clinic which is an hour away and costs too much with all the gas I'd be using. And my gp is retiring, he might have been willing to do that for me but that's not an option anymore. He did say he'll be available until august, maybe I'll talk to my sub doctorr at my appt at the end of the month and then talk to my gp. I just don't know. Subs just don't seem to cut it anymore. All they do is get rid of the worst w/d symptoms but I still get sweats and chills and aches and pains...I was a chronic pain patient before I went on subs and subs just don't offer any real level of pain relief anymore. I also need to get my back xrayed because it's really hurting. I got an xray years ago that showed some problems but I never followed up on it.

I just feel so lost and confused honestly. Like no one in my life cares enough to understand.
 
@Smoke, yo I wish the best for you man. It's a long and rough road as I'm sure you're well aware of; I don't know if you're trying to get off opi's all together or just take a break and break your physical/mental dependencies? Oh, and I didn't know tramadol was worth plugging or even water soluble for that matter, what's tramadol like via rectal ROA?

I could never experience the tramadol/buprenorphine synergy that I got to feel ONE time (back when I could still get high off bupe that is, of course). I was also on like 60mg of diazepam and some kpins, but that's besides the point. I was able to catch a major nod off 2mg bupe and like 400mg tramadol. My head was literally in my lap; reminded me of true full mu agonist nod! Never got that synergy again though... Bummer. What's odd was that I did dose the trams way before the bupe hmmm. The other times I attempted to reach that high with the two strange, synthetic opioids I just got some weird stimmy, SNRI effects.

Picked up 7 caps of some really good boy today and got 2 free caps of fire coke for giving my ex gf a fairly new rig. I was not expecting .2 of coke just for that! lol! Woke me up from my deep, noddy heroin nod.

Woke up to a .2 shot of some garbage dope I must have thought was decent last night because I was on like 10mg of alprazolam lol, couldn't tell the difference until I woke up and got absolutely no rush from the batch. Too bad... that same dealer has FIRE coke, perfect for IV ;)

I'm sick of the BDD Social being dead, lets socialize folks!
 
I still don't think buprenorphine was anything that special, though was decently enjoyable. My low opiate tolerance made one 8mg suboxone strip last about a week.

Weird thing is I would nod like CRAZY a while after dosing, but without feeling any high or euphoria.
 
@Smoke, yo I wish the best for you man. It's a long and rough road as I'm sure you're well aware of; I don't know if you're trying to get off opi's all together or just take a break and break your physical/mental dependencies? Oh, and I didn't know tramadol was worth plugging or even water soluble for that matter, what's tramadol like via rectal ROA?

I could never experience the tramadol/buprenorphine synergy that I got to feel ONE time (back when I could still get high off bupe that is, of course). I was also on like 60mg of diazepam and some kpins, but that's besides the point. I was able to catch a major nod off 2mg bupe and like 400mg tramadol. My head was literally in my lap; reminded me of true full mu agonist nod! Never got that synergy again though... Bummer. What's odd was that I did dose the trams way before the bupe hmmm. The other times I attempted to reach that high with the two strange, synthetic opioids I just got some weird stimmy, SNRI effects.

Picked up 7 caps of some really good boy today and got 2 free caps of fire coke for giving my ex gf a fairly new rig. I was not expecting .2 of coke just for that! lol! Woke me up from my deep, noddy heroin nod.

Woke up to a .2 shot of some garbage dope I must have thought was decent last night because I was on like 10mg of alprazolam lol, couldn't tell the difference until I woke up and got absolutely no rush from the batch. Too bad... that same dealer has FIRE coke, perfect for IV ;)

I'm sick of the BDD Social being dead, lets socialize folks!
 
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