barton springs...

[jameslovesyou]

make worlds collide
ride the shock waves
produced for days
rolling up and down
occasionally touching the ground i found
rooted with blooming trees and clover
see
over here
truth is as plain as this
dirty feet concrete
replete with
orange peel past
and visions of
health
and wealth.
i can feel breeze slowly pulling
~~like taffy~~
those ugly parts away.

 

[Tiredhands]

This is my favorite of yours that I've read so far. For some reason I've got a thing for references to concrete, and I especially enjoyed the contrast with that and 'orange peel'.....one thing heavily used and dirty, the other bright and clean. here and there.

nice work

 

[jameslovesyou]

thank you.

 

[katmeow]

This was sweet.

Cool stuff

 

[up all night]

Rhythmic words are such a pleasure to read.

 

[(Wordy)]

Rhythmic is right... you have your own distinctive rhythm, jameslovesyou.

 

[jameslovesyou]

thank you for the kindness...i am no poet. i am a thinker and these attempts at writing are just me trying to get you to see what i see.
that rhythm works well when read aloud...not so much when read.