First I want to say:
CONGRATUFUCKINGLATIONS!!
If
anyone on this forum deserves to be clean right now its you for the amount of shit you put yourself through at the end of your addiction.
You also shouldn't be taking yourself lightly right now and we are absolutely celebrating soon (w/out opiates or benzos of course). And what I mean by not taking yourself lightly is you shouldn't treat this like "ah no big deal that I got clean". Be PROUD, feel proud, because everyone is proud for you.
Second, if you are ever having a tough time you know my number bro. I know you're doing the NA thing but sometimes its easy for us addicts to lie and hide shit from people and before we know it we're back at square 1. Call me at 4am in the morning, call me to tell me some girl on the road looked at you the wrong way and now you want to use. Call me for ANY MUNDANE STUPID SHIT that may be going on in your life. Do not try to act tough or strong and do not worry about wtf I am thinking. Addicts are professionals at hiding their problems and that definitely doesn't help keep them away from drugs.
Third. I am seriously confused about why you hid this from me. I even asked where you had been (not last time we talked but the conversation before that) and you told me you were taking care of someone. We even talked about where your use was at and you totally deflected the question. I'm not sure if you were trying to surpise me, or testing me to see where I was encase you thought I'd be a bad influence or something.. but I'm definitely confused about that. I even got the impression you were clean because you sounded "different". Its hard to explain what was different but you just sounded more sure of yourself/confident.
Anyway we need to have a serious conversation about the details and how recovery is going so far. If you EVER get the temptation to use, just please stay the fuck away from opiates and benzos... and coke too lol. Smoke a j if you must just let your opiate receptors get back to normal so you can start experiencing happiness again. That shit is played out anyway and you know that. Its not fun, we can never have enough and we're always thinking about how to get more when we just had more. You are finally free man, and you have no idea how happy I am for you.
