babel

[vurtomatic]

tower      (tall and proud
a spirit      a voice)

reaching  (only to be cast
                 down)

the sky    (our pride)

hark!

we come

balal        (voices tongues)

hark!

we of

_aa         (b)
b_b_le    (a)(b)
__           (el)

s    c    a    t    t   e   r   e   d
fallen      (pr!de)

[edit: sigh, formatting is a bit messed up ]

 

[bisKi]

still good.

 

[harraser]

man you always manage to come up with the kind of arty briliance that i love and have always wanted to do myself...

 

[edgewise]

i like it

that's lovely. i like the way you experiment with form.

 

[Raz]

is ambitious...:D

I like the general feel of it...

--Raz--

 

[plazma]

*blink*

*blink*

*scan*

Well, I'm impressed, admittedly at first, I did click 'back' and check if it was what I thought it was, it is indeed. Its definately different to what I expected and very much a very worthwhile read, I love the more abstract and experimental forms that poetry takes when in the hands of someone as skilled as yourself. Congrats, and I loved it.

-plaz out-

 

[vurtomatic]

indeed, perhaps this was too ambitious, given the biblical connotations of the subject. there is a more "traditional" verse version of this which i started on and have yet to complete, which im not even sure if im capable of finishing.

i would hate to not do the subject justice.

i have always been fascinated with the story of babel and the common tongue of men; and entertained the idea that music, is that lost language.

thanks!