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August: getting/staying sober thread vs. seasons end

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BlueSaffron said:
I'm also worried there's a drug screen. I'm clean except for methadone, but I worry that they'll do the more extensive test that finds methadone, and I"m worried because my roommate smokes a ton of weed and sometimes I'm in the room. I don't smoke it, ever, but I wonder if the secondhand smoke has gotten in my system. He always turns on the window fan, and I fan the smoke away if it gets close to me but I know I've probably inhaled a bit.

Two months is awesome Zerix :) I'm pretty sure you're probably still in PAWS, and it should be getting better each day... but I've also personally decided that I kinda wish I never even heard of PAWS. I mean I understand the benefit of realizing that the reason you feel down is that you're experiencing lingering withdrawal, but I find myself fixating on it like I did with acute withdrawals: when will it start? when will it be over? is this it? How am I supposed to do this when I have to go through months of PAWS?

So I have decided that for me, PAWS doesn't exist, or if it does, it lasts a month, tops. It's just a better way for me to think about it... gives me less excuse to mope around thinking "of course I feel like this - I'm in PAWS!!!111oneoneone!" and more reason to just get on with my life.
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The methadone should eliminate any PAWS, so you will not need to worry about this while on the methadone. :)

Not many employers test for methadone as the test can get pricy.

Once your have a dismissal then you may be able to plow on and get the records sealed up. You can probably look up the restrictions on the court gov website from your state.

Good luck with the job:)
 
Also, tapers tend to really reduce PAWS from what I have read and experience. I think the same goes for longer acting opiates vs short acting ones, but I could be wrong on that. PAWS tends to wax and wane for me at least. It tends to flair for a few days and then go away for awhile. Often, I do not notice I am in it until the final day or so. Also, each time it really "flairs up" it gets shorter and less intense.


98 days for me!
 
neversickanymore said:
The methadone should eliminate any PAWS, so you will not need to worry about this while on the methadone. :)

Not many employers test for methadone as the test can get pricy.

Once your have a dismissal then you may be able to plow on and get the records sealed up. You can probably look up the restrictions on the court gov website from your state.

Good luck with the job:)
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I know you don't get PAWS til after you're tapered and out of the acutes, I was just describing my thought process re regular withdrawal and saying it'll be much the same with PAWS - I know I"ll end up focusing on it, wondering if it's starting, ect ect.

It'd be great to get my record sealed so I don't have to go through this anymore. I hate telling people - their tone when they're talking to you instantly changes.
 
phactor said:
Also, tapers tend to really reduce PAWS from what I have read and experience. I think the same goes for longer acting opiates vs short acting ones, but I could be wrong on that. PAWS tends to wax and wane for me at least. It tends to flair for a few days and then go away for awhile. Often, I do not notice I am in it until the final day or so. Also, each time it really "flairs up" it gets shorter and less intense.


98 days for me!
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I hope so. Today is my last day on 13, I get 12 mgs tomorrow. I'll be on 10 by next Sunday. The first night on 13 I was really sick, the 2nd night was better, last night was hard again, but I do get at least 3-4 hours sleep, and the RLS hasn't been too bad.

So tired of feeling fucked up and sad and not like myself.
 
BlueSaffron said:
I hope so. Today is my last day on 13, I get 12 mgs tomorrow. I'll be on 10 by next Sunday. The first night on 13 I was really sick, the 2nd night was better, last night was hard again, but I do get at least 3-4 hours sleep, and the RLS hasn't been too bad.

So tired of feeling fucked up and sad and not like myself.
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Blue, you got a lot of fans here. We are all pulling for you!

Me: over a month off amphetamines (I'm over counting the days, I want to focus on other issues now and I know that life style can never be for me again).
 
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Hope everyone is doing well! I had court this morning, and it went well, 6 more weeks for next one, just in time to get this outpatient program done and get my both cases dropped, I'm stoked! I was so anxious for today this whole week, I barely even slept last night. So glad it's over with.

neversick: I stay focused on working out and getting my health in check these days, I miss having a nice fit body and those gnarly abs! haha, I really let myself go, got super skinny using all the time and not eating well, you know, everyday saying to myself "I'll start soon" but never happens! we know how that's like... and I do attend NA meetings few times a week (the minimum just for my outpatient class bleh). I don't talk to anybody, I don't want any distractions right now mostly, I wanna finish the program and then I wanna reach out to a couple people, whom I lost contact with when I was isolating, and hanging with the wrong people, and constantly blaming everyone, ugh, makes me sick...

BlueSaff! You are so right, FUCK PAWS. That shit does not exist. No point in believing in it when it does more harm than good, you are sooo right. Every day IS UP TO US. We are in charge, not no fucking paws! :) Keep that strength up, we WILL get our legal troubles out the way, it is only a matter of time. I used to always tell myself, and still tend to... "Time heals everything - no matter how bad things are".

I'm def feeling better today, I applied to a few jobs yesterday, took some action! Don't know about the responses, but, at least I did that. I have been battling these evil anxious feelings, cause I'm so used to having a valium or a kpin on hand, and easing my troubles and running for something, now I have only myself and my unique mind. Trying to get myself to work on some hobbies, learn some web design like I always wanted to but never followed through thanks to negativity and sometimes laziness.

Looking forward to St. Johns Wort herb coming tomorrow in the mail too, did a lot of research, will be using properly and wisely, and hope it helps boost the positivity at least a bit. Ain't got nothing to lose with it.

Hope everyone is having a great (or at least good) day! <3
 
cuoym4.png


Yeesh. Time to start tapering. The fear...
 
Zerix said:
Hope everyone is doing well! I had court this morning, and it went well, 6 more weeks for next one, just in time to get this outpatient program done and get my both cases dropped, I'm stoked! I was so anxious for today this whole week, I barely even slept last night. So glad it's over with.

neversick: I stay focused on working out and getting my health in check these days, I miss having a nice fit body and those gnarly abs! haha, I really let myself go, got super skinny using all the time and not eating well, you know, everyday saying to myself "I'll start soon" but never happens! we know how that's like... and I do attend NA meetings few times a week (the minimum just for my outpatient class bleh). I don't talk to anybody, I don't want any distractions right now mostly, I wanna finish the program and then I wanna reach out to a couple people, whom I lost contact with when I was isolating, and hanging with the wrong people, and constantly blaming everyone, ugh, makes me sick...

BlueSaff! You are so right, FUCK PAWS. That shit does not exist. No point in believing in it when it does more harm than good, you are sooo right. Every day IS UP TO US. We are in charge, not no fucking paws! :) Keep that strength up, we WILL get our legal troubles out the way, it is only a matter of time. I used to always tell myself, and still tend to... "Time heals everything - no matter how bad things are".

I'm def feeling better today, I applied to a few jobs yesterday, took some action! Don't know about the responses, but, at least I did that. I have been battling these evil anxious feelings, cause I'm so used to having a valium or a kpin on hand, and easing my troubles and running for something, now I have only myself and my unique mind. Trying to get myself to work on some hobbies, learn some web design like I always wanted to but never followed through thanks to negativity and sometimes laziness.

Looking forward to St. Johns Wort herb coming tomorrow in the mail too, did a lot of research, will be using properly and wisely, and hope it helps boost the positivity at least a bit. Ain't got nothing to lose with it.

Hope everyone is having a great (or at least good) day! <3
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And if the St. John's doesn't do the trick, try supplementing with 5-HTP; however be aware that combining the two can be dangerous, depending on how much you take, due to serotonin toxicity.
 
neversickanymore said:
It was a trying day.. but fuck it im still here and smiling. 24 more down, with confidence..
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Great! :)

And today is a new day, I hope it's going much better for ya. I'm trying to keep the good attitude I had yesterday keep flowing too.


Just A Guy - Thanks for the tip yeah, I used to take 5-htp before long ago, but I just wanted to try out an alternative, if St. Johns don't work I'll get a 50mg HTP in. My problem is waking up, I don't know, does low serotonin = excessive sleep?
 
24 days off opiates, and in the wee hours this morning I was feeling extremely depressed.

Im glad my roomie talked me out of doing some stupid shit cause I was on the verge of doing so.
I coulda totally made that phone call, or done something even worse. Irrational thoughts can lead to disaster, I'm glad I made it through that wave, it reassures me that I am strong enough to do this, and that it's totally okay to let someone help. My whole life I've wanted to accomplish things on my own, but as Im learning, I'm realizing that it's literally impossible. Everyone relies on eachother for support in one way or another.
 
Papaverium said:
24 days off opiates, and in the wee hours this morning I was feeling extremely depressed.

Im glad my roomie talked me out of doing some stupid shit cause I was on the verge of doing so.
I coulda totally made that phone call, or done something even worse. Irrational thoughts can lead to disaster, I'm glad I made it through that wave, it reassures me that I am strong enough to do this, and that it's totally okay to let someone help. My whole life I've wanted to accomplish things on my own, but as Im learning, I'm realizing that it's literally impossible. Everyone relies on eachother for support in one way or another.
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So true. I have the hardest time asking for help. My Achilles heel I suppose.

Great job making it to day 24! It is great that you have a support network (roomie) to talk you down from the proverbial ledge.
 
Wow... everyone is doing great! Still clean myself. Parents are coming to visit today. Sleep has been a bit off, but I am seeing the doctor tomorrow.
 
Azure Cloud said:
So true. I have the hardest time asking for help. My Achilles heel I suppose.

Great job making it to day 24! It is great that you have a support network (roomie) to talk you down from the proverbial ledge.
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Thanks ^^ ...Yes, I'm extremely grateful, I love him to bits (platonically). He's like a brother to me, the older brother I always wish I had, and our mental connection is really intense we can basically speak telepathically to eachother lol. I swear we were twins in a past life :P

Day 25, and counting... :)
 
Day 20 of sobriety for me. I was getting really bad with alcohol, and I want to see what life is like being sober for more than a few months. I've been getting fucked up on a regular basis since I was 16, I'm 21 now and i'm just kind of over it.
 
whynaught said:
I'm just checking in I guess. It's my first day sober. Being in shape is going to be what will keep me off anything. Having a positive body image and feeling good is all I need at this point in my life as far as addiction problems go I'm pretty sure
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Good for you you were on etolizam weren't you? What a terrible way to live having to do a substance every couple hours to feel normal but I'm glad to hear your trying to kick the habit.

Keep coming back for support share how you feel and be open nobody will judge you
 
whynaught said:
I'm just checking in I guess. It's my first day sober. Being in shape is going to be what will keep me off anything. Having a positive body image and feeling good is all I need at this point in my life as far as addiction problems go I'm pretty sure
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Good job on making the decision to finally quit :)
Being in shape, eating healthy, and keeping one's self occupied at times of craving or even just out of boredom is a great way to keep distracted from the negative feelings that cause the desire to use.
Motivation seems to be the hardest part for me... now that Im almost a month clean, I find myself sitting around doing fuck all with not a single idea of what could possibly be a fun thing to do. And there's lots of things I like to do, its the lack of drive to do it that sucks ya in like a vortex of creativity block...
 
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