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August Getting/Staying Clean/Sober Thread v. Full Moons and Nights

FUCKING AWESOME! =D

Spend the morning at the Zendo, god I can't wait to move into the Zen Center as a resident. Pretty cheap for a studio in the heart of LA, plus I get to live with some really wonderful people. It'll be like college, minus the drugs (well, kinda ;)), and with a lot of older people who like to chant a lot. Granted I was exhausted after a morning of Zazen, but I'm not exactly used to it quite yet so a nap was definitely in order. I feel bad I forget to text CJ, I need to get on that :)

Saturday was fucking awesome too. Went on a little daylong retreat with this amazing, amazing teacher that focused on intimacy. Really wonderful subject. I am just so fucking lucky to be a part of these communities.
 
I've got 4 weeks clean/sober whatever you call it off everything(besides caffeine, lol). The cravings are really starting to pick up now. I've never made it to 60 days since I first started drinking/using, so I kinda wanted to do that(made it to like 57 or 58 one time),but I'm really starting to wanna get high on something or other.

Things have been going pretty damn well for me though and I don't even wanna really open that door up even if it's just cannabis or something, so I'm starting to get rather conflicted. Fucking addict brains suck! Lol
 
RDP89 said:
I've got 4 weeks clean/sober whatever you call it off everything(besides caffeine, lol). The cravings are really starting to pick up now. I've never made it to 60 days since I first started drinking/using, so I kinda wanted to do that(made it to like 57 or 58 one time),but I'm really starting to wanna get high on something or other.

Things have been going pretty damn well for me though and I don't even wanna really open that door up even if it's just cannabis or something, so I'm starting to get rather conflicted. Fucking addict brains suck! Lol
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congrats on your progress! :)
 
8 days off heroin, been tapering with Loperamide. Really wrestling with cravings.

Lost my job though so I'm broke, can't get without scheming so I'm fighting it mentally right now. The occasional physical ache doesn't help keep it off my mind either.

Besides using once in 15 days I'm definitely doing better.
 
need to get my wisdom teeth pulled soon, they're starting to bother me

not gonna lie, I am looking forward to the pain medication the dentist prescribes. I'm bad with tooth pain and codeine hurts my stomach
 
Sorry I haven't been posting much. My OCD is getting the better of me lately. I'm feeling a really bad resurgence of both doom and gloom thinking and compulsive behaviors. I haven't left my house in a few weeks and now I only leave my room to smoke cigarettes. I have a doc appointment tomorrow. I am very seriously considering going back on clonazepam just so I can reclaim my life back a little.
 
I was wondering where you went. I'm sorry to hear that things haven't been going so well for you.

Definitely get medication if you feel it'd help. Personally I've been taking low doses of valium (2.5-5 mgs) daily and it does help me from going off the deep end...ultimately it's not something I want to take long-term but seeing as I'm currently unable to seek any sort of counseling to further my own personal improvement, it's kind of the only option for me. Hopefully when mid-September rolls around and I get off work I'll be able to find some sort of affordable mental health service to take advantage of.
 
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