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Assaulted or deserving?

  • Thread starter Thread starter facelessgirl
  • Start date Start date
Your response is very vague and unclear, so I'm just going to touch lightly on a few things:

KingKoopa said:
If we were dating, hopefully we'd have a healthy sexual relationship without the need for getting sloppy drunk. And no, you wouldn't have a choice in the matter. If I have doubts about a girls intent, everything is off, no matter what she says. I'm going to leave or go to sleep. We are NOT having sex and after that treatment, I'd probably hesitate to attempt again.
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This is a drastic change of attitude from before where you did state that you get 'pushy', 'angry', and 'storm out'.

Also, addressing your new POV, maybe you should have some patience with the girl and hear her out before cutting her off cold for the night, and for god knows how long in the future? Just because you have doubts about her intent [could you please clarify what you mean by that?] doesn't mean you're correct in your assumptions.

KingKoopa said:
The right not be be assaulted doesn't give you the right to act freely without rebuke.
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I assume you're returning to your previous POV here?

Why shouldn't an adult freely be able to decide that they don't want to have sex, without getting their partner so infuriated that their partner storms out of the house?
 
The way I see it its like dropping some acid on an unprepared mind set and setting: You're probably enjoying that initial comeup and you think you made a good decision.

But then maybe once you reach the peak you start to freak out. You then blame the acid for your bad experience and not yourself for making the bad decision to drop while unprepared.

Or, you could learn to think things through in the future before you start acting.

You knew you didn't like the guy but thought you'd lead him on. why? For your own personal enjoyment and to boost self-confidence? How do you think the guy felt?

Oh and the OP said: "I make pathetic little whimpering noises. I'm saying no!" which is obviously: I am attemting tio say no but am unable to utter anything except "pathetic little whimpering noises"

I'm not saying it was right what happened but I think both sides have an equal share of the blame maybe even less on the guy's part
 
I love that so many of the guys on this thread are basically admitting that a woman should never trust the intent of your male friends because guys can't control your dicks. Hilarious.

Get a grip, A drunk girl letting you give her a kiss does not impart a share of the blame when you forcibly strip her and rape her while she's saying no. If you can't control your dick in that scenario you are a rapist. Period and the world would be better off if you were court ordered to become a eunuch.
 
She said that he fucked her while she was saying no and she described him "tearing her pants" down to her ankles and roughly spreading her thighs apart. That sounds pretty forcible.

I dont know about you but no one has ever had to take my pants off for me or spread my legs for me for sex that I wanted.
 
No she didn't. She said that she said no a couple times when he was trying to force her hand on his penis, and then she didn't say or do anything else to resist as he pulled her pants down and they had sex.
 
He grips my hand in his, making me rub his dick up and down. I make pathetic little whimpering noises. I'm saying no! Soon my protest crescendos to full blown heaving sobs. The hysterically emotional drunk sobs.
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Crouching over me he takes off my jacket and tears down my jeans to my ankles, exposing my bear ass on the concrete.
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I feel my thighs being roughly spread apart, the exposed flesh of my bottom scraping along the concrete. My head lolls to the side and I catch a glimpse of him holding his dick and staring at my pussy. I feel a rough prod at my outer vagina.]
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Yeh...gonna have to stick with forcible on that one. He didnt have to rape choke her with one hand while calling her names and threatening to kill her, but it sure doesnt sound like anything that could ever be confused with sex that's actually wanted and he certainly wasn't acting the friend finally consummating his love with a girl he's had a crush on. He waited till she was pretty much completely out of it. He pulled her pants off(roughly), spreadher thighs, roughly, and he fucked her on concrete without seeming to care in the least whether she actually wanted to.
 
women are tricky, compared to men. one minute they can want something so bad, and like the wind, theyll change direction completely and without warning.

man: " i thought you wanted this?"
woman: " i did want this then, but not now"
man: "but you got me ready to go and im all set now and youre just telling me you dont want this all of the sudden?"

men get all fired up and have one track minds and stick to the goal at hand. meanwhile the woman has changed her mind two or three different times in different ways, and as frustrating as it is for men, and practically unfathomable to men, women change their minds frequently, and have the right too, even if it means the guy gets blue balls.

now, dont get me wrong, i cant stand the thought of a girl changing her mind AFTER a one night stand(out of shame, or lack of memory, whatever) and after the fact claiming rape. it might help her save face but she could potentially get an innocent man locked up and sentenced to a lifetime of daily rapings(oh the irony) in prison, where they are not kind to "Rapists".
 
This is a drastic change of attitude from before where you did state that you get 'pushy', 'angry', and 'storm out'.
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Drastically different scenario.

Also, addressing your new POV, maybe you should have some patience with the girl and hear her out before cutting her off cold for the night, and for god knows how long in the future? Just because you have doubts about her intent [could you please clarify what you mean by that?] doesn't mean you're correct in your assumptions.
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If a girl doesn't seem to be into it, I'm not down. Thats how you catch a case.

Regardless, for a girl to put herself into a sexual situation and then reject the guy is pretty cruel. Plenty of girls will string that one out for quite some time. Fuck that.

I assume you're returning to your previous POV here?
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Same POV, different scenario.

Why shouldn't an adult freely be able to decide that they don't want to have sex, without getting their partner so infuriated that their partner storms out of the house?
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The problem is that women think that that behavior is ok. They laugh it off, kindly explain that they came to the realization that you were unfuckable because (insert reason) and then proceed as upbeat as ever. You want to talk about scars? OUCH.
 
GenericMind said:
I didn't say it wasn't forcible, I said that he didn't do what you said he did, which he didn't.
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Well she certainly said no, he certainly stripped her, he certainly raped her, he certainly did it forcibly, which part are we having a communication problem with?
 
I think the communication problem is stemming from you making blatantly false statements about what happened and then using them to justify your condescending statements about other posters because they're not as vehement about this being as clear cut as you seem to think it is.
 
Anyway, the guy should have stopped when she said no. No question about it. And if you think otherwise then I have serious reservations about your own personal sexual behaviour.
 
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Generic mind, even the OP of that thread stopped and he was in an established relationship. To not have that be your first instinct is sadistic.
 
assaulted.

some people are suggesting that women should be in a brightly lit public place and under strict supervision whenever they have a few drinks with a male companion. what a depressingly sad and primitive picture of men this paints. at the very least i've learned which bluelight guys to stay the fuck away from at parties, so thanks.

it seems clear to me that this particular "friend" had it set in his mind to have his way with the OP that night. he'd been after her for ages, he was on his way out of the country, so why not get her liquored up and try his luck. he successfully got her drunk, they reminisced about happy times, some fooling around went off pleasantly enough, and he seized what he probably saw as his last opportunity at finally getting what he wanted. whether she was game or not at that point was of little consequence to him.

unfortunately some men think it's perfectly fine, indeed, part of their "game" to feign friendship with a woman while they are waiting around for an opportunity for sex. these guys build trust, establish themselves as "safe", and then move in for the kill at just the right vulnerable moment. i guess it's a part of the sexual dance that i should learn to accept, but frankly it disgusts me.

facelessgirl said:
At the time I had no reason to believe that anything seedy was going to happen that night. we had gone wandering in the dark before, taken e & mushrooms together, he stayed in my apartment for a few nights when he had no place to sleep. well, you get the idea.
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i certainly do get the idea. you'll probably get more adept at identifying these scumbags as you get older - that's been my experience anyway. even then it will sometimes be difficult not to give a male friend a pass because they've historically been so cool. nobody wants to believe that their friends have sinister plans in mind, even if it seems obvious to outside observers.

as others have said, there's a critical lesson to be learned here. you didn't deserve this at all, but you can take control and avoid situations like this in the future. i sincerely wish you the best of luck. i know firsthand how painful it is to face this reality.
 
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Friendship and attraction aren't mutually exclusive. The existence of a very real friendship doesn't turn men into harmless asexual teddy bears.
 
GenericMind said:
I think the communication problem is stemming from you making blatantly false statements
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Do you know what "blatantly" means or are you just throwing that word in there because you thought it sounded good with "false"?

Giving you the benefit of the doubt my statements are arguably false at best, depending upon how one chooses to interpret the events. "Arguably" is quite the stones throw from "blatantly".

At any rate. he stripped her, you agreed it was forcibly, so then it just depends on whether one defines continuing to force yourself on a drunk girl after she says no as "rape" even in the event that she basically falls over drunk and offers no real resistance.

Generally if a girl says "no" to putting her hand on your penis it's pretty likely she doesn't want it inside her. So I'd lean in the "yes, that's rape" direction.
 
KingKoopa said:
Friendship and attraction aren't mutually exclusive. The existence of a very real friendship doesn't turn men into harmless asexual teddy bears.
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i understand your point, and i agree. however i'm not talking about a guy with a crush that's open to a mutually desired progression from friends to lovers. i'm referring to predatory opportunists (which are shockingly common) and this is the category i believe this particular creep falls into.

if any of you reading this feel you're entitled to sex because the girl has given it up elsewhere to other guys, or because you've "put in your time", or because you somehow weaseled your way into a drunken make-out session, you probably belong to this nasty group as well. you are no friend to a woman. the guy in question was no friend either.
 
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